Much of who we are is defined by our self image , that is, the conception we have of ourselves. This self-image has a very important impact on the most diverse areas of our lives and can play for or against our quality of life.
As a regulatory element of our behavior and our emotionality, it has effects on each person’s self-esteem, induces positive and negative emotional states, modulates our way of behaving and, in fact, can be read by the people with whom we interact and do that they behave in a manner consistent with our way of perceiving ourselves.
However, like many other constituent elements of our way of interpreting reality, self-image can be managed to adapt to our needs Here are four key ideas to make it easier for you to learn how to usefully manage your relationship with yourself.
1. Stop taking negative judgments about your self-image as true
Human beings are incapable of perceiving ourselves objectively: we have so much information about our way of behaving and feeling that our conception of ourselves is necessarily a very brief summary and leaves out many elements and characteristics that define us. Being clear about this can help you realize that complexes and insecurities about oneself are never based on something one hundred percent objective and that, therefore, They have no value in themselves
Negative ideas about yourself do not describe an objective and incontestable reality. Keeping them in mind does not guarantee reliable and true knowledge about yourself, but they often do guarantee a great source of worry, anxiety and conflictive situations. Therefore, believing that you cannot question these preconceived ideas related to a negative self-image is, many times, falling into the trap. self-boycott put obstacles.
Stopping your attention to these negative ideas about your own being will not bring you any closer to achieving a purely true image of yourself (something that, as I have already said, cannot be done), but it can make your existence easier and evolve as a person.
2. Establish a good internal dialogue
This point follows from the previous one. Since self-image is, in part, a product of selective attention Regarding the things that define oneself, working on improving them involves making efforts to master this focus of attention. For example, if you are bad at a sport and that affects you a lot when comparing yourself to the rest of the people experienced in this activity, it is good to reflect on why such a specific activity and with so little presence in your daily habits should define you.
If there are things that you are good at and you notice that you tend to overlook, dedicate yourself to locating them and thinking to what extent they are a product of luck and not on their own merits. As this can be a bit complicated, help yourself by paying attention to the positive judgments that other people make about you: this will help you find those strengths of yours that you were unaware of until now.
Enjoy a good self-image It is not content with a still image of oneself , but is supported by the notion of having paths to follow to improve as a person. Paradoxically, knowing one’s own imperfections can be beneficial and feed self-esteem, since this will provide goals towards which to walk. Being aware in real time of this process of personal growth is highly satisfying, and knowing that the definitive goal has not yet been reached is essential to ensure that this feeling does not fade away and so that you can take control of your own self-image.
However, it is one thing to locate these imperfections and react to them and another to feel that one’s self-image is composed of only infinite imperfections. Being in this situation means falling into self-boycott, since the feeling of helplessness is so overwhelming that it does not allow you to undertake life projects. personal growth
4. Focus positively on relationships with others
Improving self-esteem is not about thinking about yourself all day Positive self-talk should occur both internally (thoughts and perceptions about oneself) and externally, that is, in relationships with others. Taking this into account will make you able not only to relate positively to others, but also to induce other people to have a positive attitude towards you.
Just as sometimes starting a dialogue on the wrong foot can make the relationship with someone become a source of stress and anger, if we aim to transform a conversation into something from which both parties benefit, you can take advantage of this loop effect. The feedback This type of dynamic can be a good tool that works in your favor.
