Relationships require a degree of commitment and willpower that in themselves make the experience a challenge. Despite the myths about romantic love that circulate, the truth is that for a romance to work you need to invest time and effort, and do it proactively.
This is why conflict in relationships is relatively common. Simply, couples and boyfriends share too much time and activities with each other for certain frictions not to arise from time to time.
However… What are the most common reasons why couples argue? Since we assume that the clash of wills is almost inevitable, it is good to know if these small crises are similar to those that other relationships have or if there really is some more specific and unique problem that is playing tricks on us.
In my experience, these are the typical causes that cause conflict and discord to appear in relationships.
1. Free time
Free time is one of the great triggers for discussions in the love context. Because? Because it responds to biological needs almost as basic as food. Free time is ultimately doing what the body asks of us, whether it is cultivating a hobby or resting. Taking into account that Cultivating the well-being of the couple is practically a job it is normal that from time to time the need to disengage from living your own life arises regardless of what the loved one is doing at that moment.
Thus, discussions about free time can appear in three different ways. The first of them has to do with the amount of free time that each person needs; easily, one of them will require more time to do what they want, and the other, less, with which an imbalance will appear that must be managed
The second way in which these couple arguments usually appear is not based so much on the quantity as on the quality of these activities. There are hobbies that require special conditions, and the other person may take a dim view of what is being done For example, if a person likes to go mountaineering, he may have problems with his partner because he is concerned about the danger that this entails.
The third way in which these conflicts appear has to do with expectations about whether free time is experienced by each individual or if it is done as a couple. Some people assume that “normal” is the first option, while for others the opposite is true.
2. Order and cleanliness problems
Another of the great causes of arguments in relationships is the order that must be maintained at home, and the cleanliness of the home. And the most normal thing is that each person has their own conception of what it means to live in an orderly and clean home, and the slightest discrepancy between these generates a lot of discomfort both in those who want to see everything more organized and in the person to whom they live. who is constantly required to pick up his things and dirt.
Furthermore, the most problematic thing about this is that there is no rational reason to justify the criteria that each person follows to consider whether a room is collected or not. In the end, as in most cases, The solution comes through negotiation and adhering to commitments
3. Privacy
Intimacy is, as the concept itself indicates, something very personal. That’s why it’s not always easy to make it fit perfectly with the expectations established in the relationship which by definition is interpersonal.
Each individual has a threshold that they consider others should not cross, and when the other person goes beyond this, the feeling is as unpleasant as it is difficult to justify.
This is noticeable both in sexuality and physical contact as as far as some secrets are concerned that we do not want them to be known even by our partner. Each individual has their psychological backroom, but we must know how to manage the expectations that the other has when it comes to knowing how the world looks from our eyes.
4. Money
It may seem banal to argue about money, but when a good portion of the assets are shared, the occasions in which conflict arises because of this are numerous. It is normal, since there may be very large expenses and very expensive products at stake
In the end, we can only assume that no matter how much we share life with a person we love, we will never be as good as the other person at detecting the injustices that they suffer (normally, without the economic imbalances having been sought by us, that is). Yeah.
Extended family comes with the partner we choose, but it doesn’t have to fit us. But the way in which we act in the face of this type of friction can determine whether another problem will be added to this problem that will fully touch the core of our relationship as a couple and that will cause many discussions And the fact is that apathy, passive-aggressive attitude or hints about in-laws do not have to be well received by the other person.
6. Jealousy
Arguments due to jealousy are somewhat less frequent than those we have seen so far, because they are usually something that is difficult to admit openly. However, the trace of romantic love based on the myth that we possess the other person still causes this type of mirage, according to which the honor of some people depends on the degree to which their partner approaches individuals who They can be considered romantic competitors
In this case, the best thing to do is to be clear that if there is jealousy this is one’s own problem, and that the best thing to do is simply nip it in the bud, since it does not bring anything good either for oneself or for the other. person who forms the couple.
