Fear is the emotion that paralyzes us the most and limits our lives. Beyond this, other paralyzing and distressing emotions such as insecurity or states of anxiety are also forms of fear. What does it lead us to live a life constantly conditioned by our fears?
Fears are the most common problems of people who want to experience real and profound changes in their lives, whether in relation to their own well-being, personal or relationship relationships, social difficulties or even at work or ventures. It is an elusive emotion, and it is very difficult to detect these fears, understand them, know their meaning (what really scares us) and, above all, overcome them. But The problem is not the fear, but the way in which you understand and manage your fears.
Fear is a basic emotion and it is natural and necessary to feel it. As a psychological phenomenon, it protects us from many harmful factors. The problem is when we have created, almost always unconsciously, a multitude of fears towards situations that are not really dangerous and condition our lives. Fears of losing, of loneliness, of not feeling capable…
that fear It ends up transforming into anger, insecurities, arguments, discouragement, or above all, into that common paralysis when it comes to facing problems or going towards what we really want and what makes us happy.
In the last 10 years, accompanying people in their change processes as a psychologist and coach, I have ended up knowing and working with the most common fears. All of them can be summarized in the 7 great fears. Let’s see what they are and how to start overcoming them; and, if you want to take that step, you can register for free in Emociónate within empowermenthumano.com, a first step to begin your change process to understand and know how to manage your emotions.
The 7 most common fears
These are the 7 most common fears that arise naturally at some times in many people’s lives:
1. Fear of not being able to and failing
When it comes to challenges and projects, this fear is often a paralyzing force when it comes to doing what we really want. We live with the idea of ​​our inability or the possible consequences, and fear tends to paralyze us to spare us those consequences. But the truth is that we are never 100% prepared to face something new, and what we understand as failure is part of that learning.
2. Fear of loneliness
The human being is never alone. We are social beings, and The quality or quantity of our relationships depends on our openness and trust. Paradoxically, when we distrust the most is when we are most afraid of loneliness, and that leads us to isolate ourselves or, on the contrary, to try to keep people (such as our partner) based on our fears and insecurities and through arguments. or frequent demands.
Death is a natural process with which we live. Our society or way of life usually isolates us from this process, which makes it even more scary.
4. Fear of losing control
The control we have over our lives is actually very little. We can make decisions, but at the same time we are affected and conditioned by many factors. This lack of confidence in life It usually makes us want to have control of the uncontrollable. Since it is not possible, fear tends to be reinforced. We want to control our children, our partners, our relationships, our objects and possessions, our status, etc.
5. Fear of loss
Personal or material, it is another form of fear of losing control, but oriented towards what we lose which implies that we live with the belief that we own something or someone.
6. Fear that everything will remain the same
When we don’t like our situation, we are afraid that it will continue that way. This causes fear to be validated with the simple passage of time, and we see everything increasingly blacker. In turn, this fear There is something positive about it: it helps you commit to your own personal change.
7. Fear of losing security
We tend to believe that living safely is the key to being happy. However, life is pure insecurity. We don’t know what is going to happen at any given moment, and The way we face that surprise conditions our lives.
The fear of losing security makes us seek it so hard that we always feel dissatisfaction, frustration, anxiety, and therefore even more fear.
Personal development by improving the relationship with one’s own fears
What do these fears lead you to? What are you losing as a result of having them? How would your life be different if you learned to understand and manage them so that they did not condition your life? And above all, how to overcome them?
Actually, fear is necessary and it is not possible to leave them behind forever. The key is to have a functional relationship with your fears, in such a way that they warn you about what is really dangerous or not and know how to understand and manage them in a functional way (that is really useful to you and leads you towards well-being and improvement. of your relationships or professional life).
This is not something that is achieved simply by informing ourselves about the objective risks (estimated according to the probability) of what we fear happening. Having data does not have to translate into a change in the way we relate to our emotions.
This is what you get if you live a process of change, during which this personal transformation stays with you forever, since you have learned mainly about yourself. This form of learning has a theoretical part, but above all a practical part based on new experiences. Without these, personal development is meaningless; and that is precisely what the “training” sessions with which psychology professionals work with consist of.
