The 9 Factors Necessary For Your Change Process To Work 100%
Throughout our lives, human beings encounter situations and feelings that are difficult to manage: trust problems, self-esteem, anxiety and anguish, insecurity, difficulties with your relationships, relationship breakups, etc.
Sometimes these problems generate existential crises and in others they are like a latent problem, which stays with you over time. On many occasions, people try a thousand and one remedies to try to overcome what happens to them: courses, therapies, self-help books… But what really works? What should a change process be like for it to really work?
The need to live a process of change where you learn about yourself and overcome what happens to you is a common experience in human beings. At some point in our lives we make the decision to overcome that difficulty forever. The first key to achieving this is to understand that the only solution must come from your own personal change, since we cannot control people or the world.
Then comes the big question: with all the perspectives that exist… What must a change process have for it to work 100%? What is most beneficial for me? What could be more practical or profound?
It is common for us to ask ourselves these questions, especially in this globalized and digitalized world so full of over-information, where every minute we are bombarded from social networks with a thousand and one new theories, perspectives or fashionable words (such as “toxic people”, “narcissists”, “if this happens to you it is because of this past relationship”, etc.). This set of theories or words are just strategies to get your attention that don’t really help you.
For 11 years my work as a psychologist and coach has been to accompany people in their personal change processes. Throughout this process I have been able to verify what works, what does not, even which habits through psychological support can be improved (hence other more practical tools have emerged, such as coaching).
The most important discovery is that a process of change can and should be practical and at the same time profound, without both achievements being incompatible. It is about living a deep process where you discover more about yourself than you think, and at the same time practical, because it is useless to know yourself if that learning does not translate into your life and you manage to feel better from the beginning.
The objective of this article is for you to know 100% which are the 9 keys or factors that your personal change process must have in order for it to work 100%. I will tell you about it from my experience and according to the results achieved by the people who live these processes.
Let’s first with what doesn’t work, and that is so common today…
What doesn’t work
Although psychology has always existed (psychology is the study of our behavior and internal processes and how to achieve stable changes that improve our lives and sensations), as a discipline it is relatively recent. Psychology is ethical, safe and trustworthy. However, many people have turned to more modern perspectives to try to solve their difficulties due to the need for more practical and faster tools.
Be very careful with this: the vast majority of those perspectives They lack any scientific basis and can confuse you In my case, I have accompanied people who needed a more practical process after spending too much time with other professionals. I have also accompanied very confused people after participating in courses and workshops for people without training or who were oversaturated with self-help books.
There are five fundamental mistakes in any change process that does not end up working in the long term.
First mistake: temporary company
In psychology (as well as in any type of process that imitates psychology or is inspired by it) it is common to base a process on sessions. Sessions are a powerful tool for get to know yourself, broaden your point of view, find the root problem and focus on solutions
However… When do your usual difficulties occur or feel? It doesn’t happen in a session, but in your daily life. When the time for the session arrives, many of those learnings and sensations are gone. Hence, accompanying only with sessions (this was also my way of accompanying as a psychologist and coach for many years) ends up being a temporary company that may not be enough.
Psychology is also a discipline that generates independence in people, and it is usually thought that providing more constant support generates dependence. This is a myth to overcome. Dependency comes when every solution and action comes from the interaction with the psychologist. However, a more constant company does not generate this
Second mistake: abusing previous theories
For a change process to work, you must be the protagonist, and to do this, it is important to work on your subjective world. What are you feeling? How do you interpret it? What are your values ​​or what do you think your needs are? If you work from previous theories without contrast (for example, that what happens to you is due to a “trauma from the past” or is related to a previous bond, etc.) finally A fictitious perspective is created in you that does not help you know yourself
It is important and essential to work from your subjectivity as a unique case, and the professional must be a clean mirror for you, not a person who loads you with theories (this is the famous “transference”, a mistake always to be avoided in psychology, and which unfortunately is not avoided in modern practices without scientific foundation or academic basis).
Third error: an abstract or not very concrete and structured process
When a process does not have specific objectives and is only about attending occasional sessions, the process lacks structure and takes forever In my case, I have accompanied people who were tired of attending therapeutic sessions for years, and in a few weeks they have felt really significant changes.
In experimental psychology we know that our memory is not a trunk of concrete and objective memories, but a present reconstruction according to your mood. Based on the past, try to delve into it, then, It’s just smoke that confuses people more In a process we can work with past difficulties, but always from a practical solution in the present moment.
Fifth mistake: applying what you don’t know
Today the intrusion that we experience in the field of self-knowledge, well-being and personal development is so immense that you will find a thousand and one talks, workshops and courses on emotions, self-esteem, belief system, concepts and areas of your personality that are part of the study. of psychology, and that they are worked on without knowledge on the part of other people, in a confusing, superficial and equivocal way.
Today the vast majority of trends make some of these mistakes. Let’s now see what are the 9 essential keys for your change process to work and help you have stable results.
9 essential keys
These 9 keys have always existed and have probably been applied by multiple cultures In fact, the Socratic method itself includes them naturally. However, perhaps because of our frenetic life and with so much information overload, we have forgotten them. These are the 9 essential keys that a change process must have so that it works 100% for you and that change is a stable part of you.
1. Focused on you
A change process must be focused on you, on what happens to you, on how you interpret situations, on how you relate and manage what you feel from your own subjectivity, not according to the ideas of the professional or therapist. From you, we can find the necessary changes to improve your situation and state of mind.
2. A practical process
To work, a change process must always be practical. If we do not apply different actions in your daily life, nothing will change and everything will remain in the realm of desire and illusion. When a process or therapy is only based on conversations without us applying concrete changes, it may lead to reflections, but not changes.
3. Also deep
Sometimes we think that the practical and the profound are incompatible. Quite the opposite. A process must be practical and deep. That it is deep implies that you discover more about yourself than you now believe that you internalize it and it serves you forever.
4. Constant company
Constant company does not mean that the professional takes you by the hand, but rather that Your availability helps you in times of difficulty This is possible today thanks to technology. In my case, I accompany people constantly for any need they have. This is especially useful when there are difficulties with anxiety, intrusive thoughts, or if the person is experiencing difficult situations that they have to face and need that extra support to see possibilities and solutions.
Today we live in a hectic way, hence limiting a process to scheduling sessions can be a factor against us. When the process is more flexible, We save time and you can live your process based on your day to day, according to your possibilities
6. Always have an action plan
An action plan is a commitment to you to apply the concrete and different actions you need to change your reality. This action plan is essential, since without it the process ends up being more ambiguous. In my case, we always try to make this action plan in one session, since it is difficult and a template or test will not help you. Each action plan is unique, totally personal and it may be based on details that a psychologist can help you discover.
7. Live the process from your emotion management
We are emotional beings and they influence us in every decision, interpretation, action and relationship. Therefore, any process that does not take care of emotion management will remain lame. From your emotional world we can work with everything else I propose a simple challenge for you to assimilate: try to think of any type of difficulty that you have or have had in your life, or perhaps another person, that is totally detached from the emotional state. It’s an impossible challenge! The emotion is in you in every moment.
8. Don’t neglect any aspect of yourself
Although in a process of change you have a specific need, it is important that it be deep and to do so we must not neglect any aspect of yourself: your way of building your self-esteem, your belief system, your communication, your style of relating, your values, etc Human beings are holistic and we need to work comprehensively.
9. Have expert company
If your process has these 9 keys, you will surely achieve the change you need, although each person needs a particular time. This is the way in which I accompany my processes as a psychologist and coach for one main reason: The most important thing is people and their need to improve their lives and for this it is essential to offer them the best process.
A change in your life, in relation to your emotions, self-esteem, confidence, productivity, quality of life, or personal or romantic relationships can be difficult. In fact, it is natural that it is difficult. However, this difficulty is a barrier that we break when we begin to live the process. That this change is stable and that you learn about yourself is the most important key. If you want to live this process, remember that at Human Empowerment you can schedule a first exploratory session with me to take that first step. In this session we will be able to discover what is happening, how to solve it and how I can accompany you. It is a session and process that you can experience from home and with freedom of schedule, with constant, flexible company, and according to a practical and profound process.
I send you lots of encouragement, enthusiasm and commitment.
