Accepting things as they are is not about standing idly by and watching life go by as if we couldn’t do anything.
For Jon Kabat Zinn, creator of one of the most influential techniques both mentally and physically, based on Buddhism and called Mindfulness, acceptance is; “…see things as they are in the present moment.”
On the other hand, from the Stoic philosophical current that emerged in Greece centuries ago, Epictetus already pointed out that “the wise man is one who willingly accepts all the circumstances of life without desiring others.”
So, Acceptance would not mean that the person distances himself from the world and reality, but rather the opposite Rather, putting acceptance into practice would involve mentally preparing ourselves to be able to act towards what we consider valuable, natural and good both physically and mentally despite the circumstances.
Resignation violates Stoic principles, since with it, we block ourselves and accept the fact of not doing anything. And accepting is not doing nothing.
Furthermore, when we resign ourselves to the facts of daily life, we are practically giving control of our state of mind and our actions derived from it, to something external to us.
By falling prey to resignation and victimhood, suffering increases and our tolerance for frustration is reduced making it difficult to relate to reality in a way in which we feel that what depends strictly on us we control or put into play.
That is, if we blame our anger on our brother, because it bothers us that he makes comments in front of the family about our physical state, it is more difficult for us to do something to change the way we relate to it. It is more difficult because we can feel the sensation that nothing can be done to solve this difficulty, and that after a few attempts things remain more or less the same.
On the other hand, if we accept the thoughts and emotions that arise from deep within us, The fact of accepting it already gives us a disposition from which to take an action that is valuable to us
A vital attitude that prepares us for change
Returning to fitness, imagine that you don’t like the image you have of yourself. Imagine that you don’t like your body and that this is something that has been causing you discontent and worry for months even years.
Now, let’s say that you set out to train and put in place the appropriate means to change your physique and that, after two weeks of hard training, you get frustrated because you don’t see the results that you expected or that you had set out for. You started motivated, you drew up the plan, you adjusted to it with great discipline but for whatever reason, you didn’t lose two kilos, you lost half a kilo.
For this reason, you decide to take a sabbatical week because after all, if all the effort made has only translated into that, what difference does it make?
Focus on control, not the result
The fact of not accepting that things do not go as we expect, It does not imply that we have to stop doing them Accepting that we have made an effort and that we have not obtained the desired results, prepares us to persevere, that is; Act.
On the other hand, if our reaction to the results is based on resignation, with thoughts like “it doesn’t matter what I do because at most I will lose half a kilo in two weeks”, we are allowing ourselves to lose control of something that we can really control. AND What we could control in this situation is perseverance, discipline and commitment But if we see things from a place of resignation, our mind will find it very difficult to act to feel better, to lose weight or to improve ourselves in other ways.
What learning to accept things gives us
In short, acceptance implies accepting reality as it is. AND One of the things we learn from reality is that nothing lasts forever neither what we hate nor what we love.
Accepting the facts without being horrified or losing our temper over them gives us the ability to respond better to a situation than when we let ourselves be carried away by what our impressions and thoughts bring to mind about that event.
In conclusion, and as the Stoics suggested, sometimes It can help us to distrust our first impressions, judgments and primary emotions when faced with the events we experience every day since this, precisely, contributes to not taking distance from situations, thus losing contact with ourselves and with what depends on our control, making us more willing to resign ourselves and not accept things as they are.
