The Benefits Of Treating Ourselves Like Our Best Friends
Self-esteem is one of the most important elements of the way we experience life, and taking care of this aspect of ourselves is essential to enjoy good emotional balance. However, there are many people who fall into the trap of believing that if they treat themselves harshly and in a very strict manner on a constant basis, this will allow them to self-actualize and be the person they want to become.
The problems caused by this tendency to treat us unfairly do not wait long , and they lead us to enter a vicious circle: due to the psychological wear and tear we suffer from subjecting ourselves to such demanding standards that we impose on ourselves, we become increasingly worse when trying to achieve everything we set out to do. And yet, many people are unable to realize that they adopt a very hostile attitude towards themselves that they would never adopt towards a friend.
This is where self-esteem comes into its own which is the art of friendship with oneself and helps us not only to be happy, but also to gain control over our lives, to empower ourselves.
We can define self-esteem as the way that human beings perceive themselves and the assessment we make of ourselves in any area of our existence whether in sports or work performance, in our ability to relate to others, when considering what we know and don’t know, etc.
Over several decades, psychology has been in charge of studying in depth the concept of self-esteem in humans, as well as establishing guidelines, strategies and techniques to improve it in any person who may present deficits in the conception of themselves.
One of the most useful strategies in this regard is to treat ourselves like a good friend , a pattern of behavior that has different ramifications depending on the context in which we find ourselves and the type of problems or personal insecurities that we face on a daily basis. And having good self-esteem does not consist of assuming that we are capable of doing anything, but rather assuming that even in what costs us, and even in the face of our mistakes and failures, we must maintain a constructive and understanding attitude towards ourselves. , just as we would do with a friend we wanted to help.
What are the advantages of treating ourselves as we would a friend?
These are the main benefits of not adopting a hyper-critical and unfair point of view when evaluating how we are and how we behave.
1. Allows you to accept us
Learning to accept and love ourselves just as we do with our best friends is the first step to start treating ourselves as we deserve and start the path towards improving self-esteem
Self-acceptance helps us embrace who we are as a whole, without fear and with determination, and positively valuing aspects of ourselves that we may have rejected or even tried to hide in the past.
Having a positive perception of ourselves both psychologically and physically, accepting our thoughts, emotions and opinions, will help us have stronger self-esteem and be happier with ourselves.
2. Helps eliminate guilt that contributes nothing
The guilt we feel throughout life for whatever reason can end up deteriorating our self-esteem and generating a vicious cycle of self-incrimination: that feeling that we are tied to that “failed” or “corrupt” essence of our past. it prevents us from considering improving as human beings And, although it may sound counterintuitive, some people cling to guilt as an excuse not to consider changing; They prefer the predictability of knowing that in the future they will continue to feel bad about their own identity, rather than facing the challenge of learning from mistakes.
The feeling of guilt, justified or not, must be eliminated from our lives and it is up to us to carry out more accurate analyzes of reality to find out if we really feel that feeling for real reasons (and therefore, which allow us to learn) or for situations that we perceive. themselves.
The guilt that a person feels is generally caused by overly harsh judgment of oneself, something that ends up deteriorating one’s self-esteem and mental health.
3. Allows you to exercise more positive self-judgments
Self-judgments that are too harsh or negative towards oneself constitute one of the classic characteristics that we can find in people with very low levels of self-esteem. And also, They make it easier for others to also see us from that prism that does not favor us at all
Beginning to evaluate our behavior with less severe parameters of our own and not those of others, is an excellent way to put into practice better treatment of ourselves, something that will undoubtedly contribute to improving our levels of self-esteem.
In this regard, honesty and compassion are essential to make fairer judgments about ourselves, adapted to our personal interests and not to the wills of others. This way we will be able to accept things about ourselves that perhaps we previously valued negatively.
4. It allows us to be true to ourselves
This new vision of ourselves will help us be more faithful to ourselves and maintain coherence between what we genuinely think, what we say and what we do throughout our lives. It helps us respect our own values and not give in due to assertiveness problems , bending ourselves to the will of others. It is also a basic element to develop our capacity for self-leadership.
Living in accordance with our own convictions, being faithful to what we want to become in life, provides us with the drive and energy necessary to face exciting and exciting projects. Do not give up due to the fear that “we will do it wrong” without having clear evidence that we are not prepared to achieve our objective.
In short, it helps us live a fuller and happier life, in accordance with our convictions, and without missing out on opportunities.
6. It helps us value those who value us
Putting into practice a more respectful and cordial treatment of ourselves will also allow us, by extension, treat those around us in the same way
In this way, a virtuous feedback loop is produced in which by treating others better we increase both our own self-esteem and that of others.
You may be interested: “9 habits to connect emotionally with someone”
7. It helps us know ourselves better
Putting into practice a more positive and cordial treatment of ourselves will increase our self-esteem, which will provide us with the necessary push to begin to live fully for and by ourselves.
This new life will also allow us to discover those hobbies or interests that we had hidden or that we had repressed in our previous life.
Besides that, We can also discover which companies make us feel better and on the contrary, what kind of people we should avoid at all costs for the benefit of our mental health.
Do you want to boost your self-esteem and self-leadership?
If you want to develop the potential of good self-esteem, I invite you to participate in my course “8-week MBSR Mindfulness and Self-Leadership Program ”, or to contact me to start a psychotherapy process.
