The most recent statistics affirm that, in our society, one in six couples who decide to have a child cannot conceive it These are very high figures that can be directly related to our way of living.
That is to say, although there are “physical” causes (such as obstruction of the fallopian tubes, hormonal alterations or a low number of sperm), there are also causes that we could consider “social”: the age at which we begin to seeking pregnancy (we must consider that from the age of 35, the eggs begin to be of low quality), inadequate nutrition (there are studies that indicate that poor nutrition generates a lower ovarian reserve in female offspring… and we have been worsening our diet) and, above all, stress.
Stress directly affects a woman’s fertility affecting their menstrual cycle and causing the inhibition of ovulation, and also directly affects a man’s fertility, significantly decreasing sperm production.
On a physiological level, Our body understands stress as a dangerous situation and naturally tends to protect itself
It secretes hormones such as adrenaline, to increase heart rate and blood pressure and provide sufficient energy to all parts of the body, and it also secretes cortisol, hormones that are responsible for suppressing all those functions that are not directly related to fleeing from the body. danger detected. And the function of conceiving is one of these “not necessary” functions in times of stress.
Cortisol will increase the level of glucose in the bloodstream and the use of glucose by the brain will basically suspend the functions of digestion and reproduction
We know: stress is the cause of many diseases in our society and can cause physical, emotional and psychological problems. And stress sustained over time, that is, chronic stress, is really dangerous in many aspects.
If we analyze the relationship between stress and fertility we are going to enter a closed circle that is difficult to break It’s a fish that bites its tail: chronic stress can cause infertility, and infertility can cause serious stress and emotional imbalances.
Several studies warn of the situation and show that a high proportion of women with fertility problems present anxiety, depression or both disorders. The statistics range from 40% to 80%, depending on the country, but in any case they are very high figures. Many women who decide to undergo assisted reproduction treatment already come to this decision in a state of depression and anxiety ; Furthermore, their psychological situation usually worsens during treatment and this, in turn, decreases the probability of its success.
The causes of these anxious symptoms are found in social pressure to have children, feelings of frustration at not getting it when you want, feelings of fear and loss of control of the situation.
Mindfulness to regulate emotions and experience fertility from another place
Mindfulness (or we can also talk about full attention meditation) is a practice that is based on consciously attend to present moment experience with interest and acceptance
It may not be easy, it requires practice and perseverance, and it does not happen overnight… but when you achieve the power to choose a mental state, when with conscious attention you can feel the “now” while avoiding negative thoughts, one becomes a powerful agent of change. And so pregnancy is just a nice side effect of this commitment to healing.
Mindfulness-based techniques are already being used to help couples with fertility problems And the results are very good: a reduction in stress is achieved and this reduces the number of treatment cycles necessary to achieve pregnancy.
Mindfulness helps us feel more connected to ourselves and more fertile in every way; It helps to cope with an assisted reproduction process, the different cycles, losses, the so-called “beta-wait”, which is the time in which results, decision-making or medical tests are expected.
Motherhood begins when you decide to be a mother
This idea is key: Motherhood begins the moment we decide to be mothers, not when pregnancy occurs And it is vital to connect with this idea, both individually and, if applicable, as a couple.
A good accompaniment of a process of searching for a child based on mindfulness techniques will propose the following learnings.
1. Learn to detect stressors and possible unconscious blocks
Recognizing the problem is the first step to solving it. That’s always the case. That is why it is very important knowing how to detect those events from the past that had an impact on your life because they were not elaborated and healed
A possible technique to detect these stressors is to make a life line. That is, spend some time organizing your life experiences in order to be able to detect possible emotional charges that may be producing physical blockages that are affecting our ability to conceive.
Said like that, it seems like a simple task. But how many people have never stopped to think about their lives and have limited themselves to living it… and suffering it!
2. Learn to regulate emotions
Regulating emotions is nothing other than learning to manage them without letting yourself be carried away by them Again something easy to say but difficult to do.
Our mind is equivalent to thoughts: to know our mind, we have to be very aware of everything we think at every moment. But many times this will be impossible because the amount of thoughts that circulate through our heads at every moment is too overwhelming. The solution then will be analyze the results generated by our thoughts Seeing these results will make it easier to free ourselves from thoughts that do not create harmony in us.
3. Learn to be a fertile couple in every way
Our body is wise and naturally encourages us to have sexual relations right when it is most fertile. That is why we must learn to listen to it and look for the desired baby from the connection. From dedicating time to yourself, from prioritizing yourself, pampering yourself, having fun
When a couple connects, oxytocin is released. And oxytocin stimulates the uterus, producing a contraction that, in turn, will produce more oxytocin. And it is scientifically proven that a practice that can facilitate conception is cervical orgasm. During this orgasm it is possible to feel the cervix opening and closing or sucking as it contracts in orgasmic release.
Getting this connection is like boiling water: it needs its boiling time. That is to say: the couple must start from relaxation and provoke adequate stimulation.
4. Learn to heal the relationship with the family of origin
Our family system inevitably has a great influence on us. We all unconsciously repeat family patterns that, if we want to have children, may be making the process difficult without us realizing it.
Any unexpressed pain, any unelaborated grief, everything that you cannot express with words is somatized or repeats a pattern. With mindfulness meditation techniques we will be able to distinguish the emotions that our ancestors felt in certain situations and it will allow us to understand the way we react to situations we experience.
5. Learn to self-manage your own fertility
The preconception stage is as important or more important than the pregnancy itself. Preparing for motherhood requires time, self-care, introspection, and prioritizing yourself
The woman must know her own body in detail and detect her fertile moments, deeply know her menstrual cycle. She must regain power over your body, observe what affects it and why, convince herself that she is the only one responsible for her body and her health.
6. Prioritize and take care of yourself
You are the most important person in your life, prioritize yourself and say no to everything that doesn’t really add up to your life
A healthy diet promotes hormonal and reproductive health. This is why it is key to consume fresh, natural and whole foods; organic seasonal vegetables and fruit, avoid processing, etc. And this applies to both women and men.
And not only that. Fertility is a state of the person and therefore it will be necessary to unite body and mind We will achieve this by practicing “yoga for fertility”; That is, a type of yoga that focuses on the endocrine system and reproductive system in order to improve fertility, while strengthening the muscular areas related to conception and preparing the woman for pregnancy, you will find it in the Mindfulwomen’s Mindful Fertility Program.
In “Mindful Fertility: Psycho-emotional Program for Fertility “You will find a set of practices based on consciousness, somatic psychology and neuroscience, a method to promote conscious fertility.
