The fear of saying “no” Setting limits is one of the great difficulties and learnings that we encounter in relation to our personal development, whether in the personal, sentimental or work sphere.
What does it lead you to not say “no” or set clear boundaries between what you want and what you don’t, between what you can and can’t do, and also between what you know and what you don’t know? And above all, how to overcome this difficulty?
One of the first words that human beings learn is “no”. This word is sometimes associated with a negative meaning, but in reality setting limits is an essential condition in your life to achieve well-being. “No” helps us set limits, get to know ourselves, and build a solid personality where we know what we want what not, what we can do, where we need more help or directly what we cannot do (limits are also necessary for personal development).
One of the most common problems today is considering that growing as a person or professional consists of overcoming all your limits But we are human beings, and having limits is part of our humanity and nature. The right thing to do is to be aware of what those limits are. However, if the rest of the world doesn’t know your boundaries because you don’t communicate them, what does that lead to?
On a personal level, not saying no or communicating your limits leads you to feel that you are not living your own life, but that your life is conditioned by the decisions of others Not establishing clear limits, expressing what you really think, feel and need, and what you don’t want, leads you to a state first of frustration, later of helplessness, and finally of discouragement.
On a professional level, everything can be intensified even more. By not making decisions, we end up feeling greater and greater insecurity and lack of personal value. By not saying no, it may be possible to accumulate work that does not belong to us, which leads to more stress, anxiety, fatigue, and therefore discouragement and lack of motivation for work (sometimes even fear).
Work can be an experience of achievement, learning and well-being or a heavy daily burden. It all depends on how you communicate your boundaries. Sometimes, not setting limits too implies that others can cross the line and cause you discomfort
In this video I am going to tell you what is the main origin of the problem of saying no and limits and how you can start to solve it. Hit play!
The importance of setting clear boundaries
Saying “no,” communicating boundaries, or communicating assertively is actually very simple. The problem is what is preventing you from doing so. What prevents us from communicating assertively and setting limits is, above all, fear
We are afraid of the answer, afraid of the lack of acceptance and appreciation, afraid of risk, afraid of losing. But fear is not the problem (since it is a useful and necessary emotion to protect your life) but how you understand and manage your fears and emotions.
In the last 10 years I have accompanied people as a psychologist and coach in their processes of personal and professional change, and in the vast majority of cases there was a fear of saying “no” that needed to be solved. When you live a process of change and the change occurs in you, starting to set limits begins to become more and more of a habit Work decreases, it becomes more organized, personal relationships improve, you know yourself better and you begin to feel that work is a lighter experience.
Of course, assertive communication is not saying “no”, it is much more than that. It is communicating in an essential way. It is telling the truth, what you think, what you feel and need, and also what you cannot or want to do.
Do you need support?
At empowermenthumano.com you can find some free resources to start living this process of change, such as the Emociónate program, or even schedule a first free exploratory session with me to get to know each other, detect where the problem is, what the solution may be, and above all See how I can accompany you in this process of change so that, thanks to your own personal change, everything else changes forever.
What happens to us is a result of what we do, how we interpret it and how we manage the emotions we feel. For this reason the only possible change is the one that occurs in you. Because from you actions, interpretations change and above all you learn to have emotions on your side instead of against you.
