When infidelity is present in a love relationship, it generates a crisis or conflict with a breakdown of pre-established agreements These crises are accompanied by intense anxiety and anguish, something that can devastate the bond.
Although infidelity has varied interpretations in each of the members of the couples, we know that it is associated with emotions that accompany it, such as indifference, fears of abandonment, anger, anxieties, feelings of injustice, anxieties, distrust, feelings of loneliness …
Infidelity is a complex process that occurs within a relationship, a loving-affective bond; It is the consequence of a number of factors that surely determine it: sexual, family, social, etc.
When situations of infidelity in the couple become present, it generates the rupture of what had been pre-established at some point in the bond; This rupture generates a crack between both, being difficult to repair in some cases generating in its continuity distrust, ideas of control, guilt, comparisons and conflicts.
Infidelity is diverting your gaze and attention towards another person or situation outside of the relationship. This may be due to several reasons, depending on each couple and the interpretation given to it.
Triggers of infidelia
Sometimes, couples lose comfort in their routine. The monotony or absence of sensations in everyday life, certain stimuli that were initially present, can make it easier for some of the members, voluntarily or involuntarily, to start a search outside interpreting that you cannot recover these stimuli with your partner.
There are patients who state in therapies that looking outside the bond has generated new sensations, both physical and emotional, such as, for example, having internal movements or sensations again, feeling attracted, looked at, liked, heard, etc. This may be due to the pleasure-generating hormones that are present in these cases.
Infidelity is accompanied, in some cases, by indifference in the couple, the feeling of not being taken into account, ignored. And this causes a lot of pain to those who go through it.
On the other hand, it has been proven that people with unfaithful traits have certain structures in their personality, generally being very jealous people with very low self-esteem traits, insecure, with the need to be looked at and to be liked by others.
Can the bond be reestablished when infidelity passes through it?
Making aware of the circumstances that led one of the members to break the agreement It will give you the potential to try to repair it, it is not about justifying what happened but rather recognizing what mobilized or was missing in the current bond to put your gaze and attention on the outside.
Be honest in those issues that are felt internally, initially with oneself and then with those who share life and the bond, being able to put into words in the couple what are the things that begin to generate discomfort, habituation or lack of sensations , also being able to generate new proposals in the bond, new forms between both, supporting the emotional foundation as a basis.
Understand that life is a constant movement , that we evolve and change permanently, advancing in evolutionary stages and learning from them, causes new learning and constant processes to be incorporated. Thus, at each stage it is likely that the needs and desires experienced will also be different and this does not imply lack of love in all cases.
The absence of speech affects the person who suffers from it and the couple, who is unaware of the new needs that are being put into play This will provide both with the creation of new agreements, new relationship formats, leaving both members with the absolute freedom to choose to stay or withdraw from the relationship if the agreement could not be reestablished.
That honesty, that putting it into words, with the responsibility that the emotional bond represents, is where you can choose permanence or separation. If you do not explain what is happening, linking issues cannot be modified silence being the main protagonist.
When for some reasons what you feel cannot be put into words, the support of a professional may be necessary to help process what is happening with active, neutral and objective listening.
Couples therapy is a space for registration between both members, feeling accompanied to navigate the difficulties that arise and that cannot be managed within the relationship.
To remember…
The act of saying what you are feeling in an honest and genuine way may or may not please the listener, but it may also gives you the freedom to choose to stay or leave the link if you wish with responsibility, this being the most important thing.
