The Law Of The Mirror: How Does The Attitude Of Others Help Us To Know Ourselves?
Do you know what the law of the mirror consists of? Psychologist Yoshinori Noguchi tells us how we use others as our reflection. Discover how to benefit yourself to know yourself.
Sometimes we catch ourselves criticizing or feeling bad about others. On many occasions this feeling or emotion reflects an attitude or behavior that we do not like about ourselves. This phenomenon is described by the Japanese psychologist Yoshinori Noguchi through which I name as the law of the mirror.
In the book The law of the mirror, by Yoshinori Noguchi argues that we perceive everything around us as a reflection of what we feel inside us. In this way, analyze this psychology mirror effect It is undoubtedly a good tool to know ourselves better.
The mirror law It can be visualized very well when in certain situations that other people carry out you get angry or disappointed even though their actions do not affect you. In these cases, you are trying to blame your negative attitudes on others to try to get rid of the responsibility you have.
Therefore in this mirror dynamics It is suggested that the cause of what happens on the outside is precisely how you see yourself. In this case, the author and disseminator of the mirror theory proposes precisely that we put aside our victimhood and take action in our lives to change ourselves.
Principles of the mirror law
Before using this human mirror effect For our benefit, it is necessary to try to understand how it works according to its author. In this way, Yoshinori Noguchi established that his mirror theory in psychology had the following premises.
Others reflect us
When observing others, people normally focus on what we do not want to accept or what we do not like about ourselves. So much so that on many occasions when we criticize someone we are pointing out precisely what we hate about our personality.
The reflection of our attitudes bothers us
These types of sensations or feelings are not related to the person who is carrying them out. In this way, according to the mirror law We are focusing on these attitudes because we ourselves suffer from them.
We try to convince ourselves of it
When we see these attitudes of ours reflected in others, the first reaction we usually have is precisely rejection. So much so that we try to rationalize these precise feelings about the person.
We deny that we act the same
Finally, another of the premises that reflect in the mirror law It is precisely that we end up acting in the same way that we were pointing out as negative to others. Therefore, the mirror theory is really showing us that we are facing an attitude that we must correct in ourselves.
The mirror law in psychology It has different benefits both personally and towards others. Mainly we can see the following.
1. Improved self-esteem
Work on our own flaws through this psychology mirror effect It can be a good weapon to improve our self-esteem. So much so that detecting our defects can make us work to accept them and integrate them with our virtues.
2. Empathy
Sometimes we try to take out our personal frustrations on others. Through a mirror person We can visualize why we envy or hate certain individuals.
3. Self-knowledge
As we have already mentioned, the mirror law It allows us to know aspects of ourselves that may go unnoticed by others. In this way, through this observation we can learn from another perspective what we really are like.
4. Positive thinking
When we focus on others and their flaws, what we are doing is mainly giving more fuel to our negative thoughts. In these cases, if we use well the mirror law We can come to visualize that we really have to change towards a much more positive attitude.
5. Leave insecurities behind
Finally, another of the benefits that we can obtain through this psychology mirror effect It is precisely the observation of our most intrinsic insecurities. Through the attitude of others we can see what may be wrong with us and try to solve it by working within ourselves.
The mirror law It is a psychological technique that can be used to improve internally. Although it is a good internal exercise, the reality is that on many occasions we will require the help of a professional psychologist to be able to work on aspects related to our self-esteem and insecurities.
When we observe certain negative traits in the people around us and see that we possess them, it is time to take action with the mirror law The moment we detect that ‘shadow’, that is, something that bothers us about others that is a reflection of our attitude, we will have to detect the following characteristics of the mirror law.
Similarity
The main mechanism to detect this shadow described in mirror law are the similarities. Therefore, we must observe ourselves when we react negatively to certain attitudes of others. In these moments we act like this since our unconscious is resorting to a personal defense mechanism against an act that we know very well since we ourselves carry out. In order to work on it, we must accept that we are like that too.
Opposition
Yosinori Nogushi suggests in the mirror law book that in many cases we do not accept that we have certain attitudes since it is difficult to tolerate our defects. For this reason, when we try to accept that we have the same attitude, we may notice opposition within us.
Behavior with others
According to the mirror law Sometimes we react in a very disproportionate way to people who reflect an attitude that we have and deny. Maybe when you get angry with someone for their behavior that means that you also act this way in your daily life.
Idealization
The last of the mechanisms to apply the mirror law It can be visualized when we feel disappointment in the act of another person around us. In this way, we do not see ourselves reflected in these attitudes but we try to deny it since we want to idealize our behavior in front of others even though we have acted in this same way.
In order to obtain all the benefits around the mirror law we must work on our personal analysis. Some examples to learn more about ourselves through mirror dynamics are the following.
1. Create a list
In order to really analyze what our defects are, it will be interesting to make a list of everything that can bother us about the people around us. Thanks to this, we will be able to see if we are really using that person as a mirror of our interior.
2. Observe your values
Sometimes we don’t realize that certain attitudes of ours go against certain values ​​we have. By seeing what we value in others and what we don’t, we can analyze if we are really carrying it out in our daily lives.
3. Practice gratitude
Every time you see that mirror dynamics It is affecting you in relation to others, try to change that negativity for a more positive attitude such as gratitude.
Knowing ourselves is the first step not only to enjoying good mental health but also to having a life full and full of happiness. In many cases, the law of the mirror can be a good tool to guide our lives towards what we really want.
