Some of our most important day-to-day worries and tensions are due to the way we react to events without much significance.
Sometimes, unimportant events that occur around us cause us to lose control of the situation and feel threatened by them. This is what can happen to us, for example, the day our car breaks down and we “we were left stranded“This setback can make us late for work, or for an appointment, or for a meeting, etc.
On other occasions we despair when faced with a long line at the supermarket, or at a citizen services office, or at the bank… It can also make us lose our temper the eighth time our child ignores us…
The way we see things, how we perceive them, can make us lose our sense of humor, patience and balance. By the way, the energy we have is going to be affected, since we are going to consume it by getting in a bad mood about something that, a priori, is not serious at all.
The operating scheme is as follows:
-The way I see reality, how I judge it, makes me react in a certain way.
-This reaction creates habitual behavior patterns, that is, when faced with a certain circumstance, I will tend to react, think, feel or act in the same way.
-These mental patterns generate, in turn, stable mental models. That is, the mental mechanisms through which people explain the functioning of the world around us.
-These mental models will end up determining the way I see reality.
The previous operating scheme has just become a vicious circle. The way to end this vicious circle is to realize that reality does not have to be how I see it, but it may be a different way. To do this, it is necessary to pause and reflect on what is happening objectively. Maybe in this way I will be able to realize that I can do something different, or think differently, or react differently, to break that pattern of behavior. Thus, I will also be creating a new habit, a new mental model that will change the way I see the reality around me.
Perhaps this is the way to avoid wasting our energy in situations that do not require it.