The Punishment of Indifference: Does it Work?

After getting angry with someone, have you treated him indifferently? Or vice versa, after a conflict with another person, do you feel that ignores you? That happens because sometimes indifference is used as punishment, since indifference hurts. But, indifference in the couple, is it? What is indifference exactly? Does indifference in love work? How to act in the face of your partner’s indifference?

We will answer all these questions in this Psychology For article: The punishment of indifference.

What is indifference

They say that the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. But what is indifference exactly? Indifference is a set of attitudes and behaviors through which there is no appreciation or importance towards any subject or person. In this case, we talk about people.

What is indifference in love? Indifference in the couple or social relations means withdrawing attention to that person. Indifference often appears after a conflict or disagreement. Some people use indifference as a form of punishment towards another person who has disappointed them. However, indifference It is a lack in emotional intelligence When the person intends to solve their problems from this form of behavior. In the following article you will find how to develop emotional intelligence.

Does indifference work?

While an assertive person puts communication for understanding after a conflict, indifference becomes a barrier which shows a bad disposition for dialogue. In essence, this form of behavior is also a consequence of the ego of those who give excessive importance to itself. The person who acts indifferently to solve a problem instead of simplifying what happened, aggravates the situation.

Indifference hurt

On the other hand, those who act in this way reach produce fear in your surroundings Next, since others do not understand those unpredictable reactions. And it is possible that some relatives and friends begin to act conditioned by the fear of a fact of these characteristics, avoiding in advance those actions that can derive in this indifference.

What effect do you produce on a person when you are indifferent

You make him feel invisible, that is, You damage your self -esteem From this way of undervalued. On the other hand, no one can read your thought. And yet, when you act with indifference you do it motivated by the irrational belief of thinking that the other can know exactly why you act in this way. Therefore, from this form of incommunication a confusion is generated around a fact that could have been solved more easily with the appropriate attitude to a conflict.

The tension generated by this type of behavior is of such magnitude that it produces a relationship blockade from the affective memory of what happened. That is, even if two people spend the page, it is very possible that this discomfort again emerges in a possible new conflict since what this type of behavior denotes is precisely that the person needs to develop skills to face conflicting situations. And until he does, he will continue to react in the same way to each new problem that frustrates him. Indifference hurts because communication is inherent to the human being.

How to act on indifference

Generally, through this type of behavior there is a form of manipulation with which to blackmail the other person. In other cases, there is also a desire for revenge, that is, the intention of returning the damage suffered through this form of punishment. The person wants to demonstrate that he has the power and control of the situation. However, he is wrong, because this way of acting soon turns against him. That is, this form of behavior is especially serious when it is a way of limiting the other in its freedom. Therefore, it is a form of instrumentalization.

This form of behavior is also a sign of immaturity that can be corrected through awareness of the damage produced by this form of punishment.

Therefore, what can be done before the indifference of another person is, in the first place, not actWell, I would only continue to aggravate the problem. Second not to take it personally or believe that one is to blame. The person who uses indifference as punishment does it because he does not know how to act otherwise and that is his responsibility, not yours. The behavior of others is not your responsibility.

You will not be able to solve the conflict yourself or you alone. What is in your hands is putting your part: you can take the first step communicating assertivelythat is, speaking in the first person of how you perceive the situation and how you feel about it. Normally, an open and sincere attitude is better received. However, nothing ensures that the other party’s response is positive.

Remember that the person who acts with indifference is because it presents a lack in emotional intelligence, that is, has not learned emotional skills and social enough to deal with interpersonal problems. Surely, the situation in which it is found has exceeded what you can assume with the strategies and tools you have acquired so far. It would be good if the person who acts indifferently became aware of that lack of skills. In which case, I could learn them and maintain better interpersonal relationships.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology For we have no power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to The punishment of indifference we recommend that you enter our category of social psychology.

References

• Castelló, A., & Autet, MC (2011). Interpersonal intelligence: key concepts. Interuniversity Electronics Magazine for Teacher Training14 (3), 23-35.
• Goleman, D. (2010). The practice of emotional intelligence. Editorial Kairós.