The Search for a Partner

Finding a partner is something that usually makes us crazy, but do you know what attracts each sex when looking for a partner?

Courtship is the initial step to reach the sexual relationship, an attraction must first occur. Even if it doesn’t end up in bed, without attraction the next steps will not be triggered. Feeling attracted to someone implies perceiving them as a potential sexual partner.

Why are we attracted to someone?

When it comes to feeling attracted to someone, things come into play: factors both biological and cultural. It is logical to think about the importance of physical traits since they demonstrate whether the selected subject is healthy or if, on the contrary, it carries defective genes that will later be transmitted to the offspring. Despite this, today these biological influences are qualified by cultural determinants, e.g. Body odors are currently disguised by perfumes.

The sexual selection It would ultimately be the process that shapes physical, anatomical and behavioral characteristics that attract a partner. This involves having skills to attract a mate, as well as the ability to compete against members of the same sex for a mate.

Some examples of attractive aspects that occur in all cultures would be:

• A good health It is essential to attract both men and women.
• Women young people are more attractive, while in men the opposite effect occurs. A woman is only fertile for a short period of her life, something that does not happen to a man.
• The most attractive men They are those who have a certain status (economic, social…), physical status does not matter so much.
• As for the physical appearance Of women, in all cultures those parts related to fertility are highlighted with clothing and ornaments, that is, breasts, hips…

I insist that we must not forget the weight of culture, the greater economic independence of Western women, for example, means that their physical characteristics are not so important and instead those of the men are valued more

What attracts us to the opposite sex?

Although there is nothing written about tastes, we all get an initial idea of ​​another person based on the traits we see in him/her.

1. Face

Are more attractive faces with a certain symmetry and that lack defects. They don’t usually like extreme features. In women, the size of the eyes seems to stand out, as well as the size of the mouth (large and with a smile), a small chin and a not very large and well-formed nose.

2. The body

In women, what attracts men most is everything that distinguish from them Big breasts, wide hips, relatively large butt, soft skin… Measurements are relative in each particular culture and person.

It should be noted that exuberant women who adopt provocative poses do not usually like men as partners. And elegant and well-dressed women are more attractive. As for men, a small butt, wide back, slim and harmonious body and smooth belly. Tall men like them but the difference with their partner should be between 12 and 14 cm.

Psychological aspects of attraction

Once the initial biological barrier is overcome, the psychological aspects come into play in the game of attraction. The following stand out among them:

1. Reciprocity

We feel affection for the people who care for us and show it to us. Mutual admiration is most attractive. The problem is that we normally do not show affection openly and the other must infer it from looks, gestures and cues, which are generally subjective. Another nuance, flatterers usually lose credibility and they are not well seen. The direct and sincere display of affection is sought.

2. Proximity

As I said in the previous article, couples who find time to be together are more likely to be successful. The spatial proximity, and above all the selective availability (it is accessible for me but not so much for the rest), although it does not produce attraction in itself, it does facilitate positive relationships.

3. Similarity

Similar opinions and attitudes provoke and increase attraction, although in the long run they do not influence as much, and they can have opposing points of view without this deteriorating the relationship. Regarding the physical part, people prefer to meet people who are similar in physical attractiveness, perhaps out of fear of being rejected or because of possible competition with their peers.

4. Complementarity

Opposite poles attract, or rather they seek to complement those shortcomings they perceive in oneself. It could be said that similarity is important at the beginning of the relationship and complementarity It was a link in the advanced relationship.

5. Arousal and mutual attraction

Sharing challenges and challenges is a powerful aphrodisiac You just have to watch the movies in which two people live hundreds of adventures and end up falling in love. The same thing happens if there are obstacles to the relationship, parents who oppose a child’s relationship cause the couple to bond even more.

6. Communication of sexual interest

Postures, gestures, looks, direction and brightness of the gaze, winks, even the lips and nose. As I said before the importance of words, language can attract, excite and convey a lot of information Touch would also be notable, although not in the initial phases where touching prematurely can suddenly end the courtship.