What is the reason for emotions?
To answer this, it is necessary to understand what emotions are, why they appear to us and in what way.
What is the value of emotions?
Emotions are responses we have to events, but preceded by cognitions that may be more or less conscious. Therefore, Emotions have, in a certain sense, a cognitive dimension since they involve thoughts, beliefs, judgments and evaluations.
These are fundamental, because without them we could not remember, learn or have social relationships… Their function was very adaptive and useful for our ancestors because if a predatory animal came, they felt afraid and ran away.
But, today… we have to know what to do with our emotions in each situation because, for example, we cannot run away if we are afraid that our boss will kick us out of our workplace. And, furthermore, we live in a world so fast that we do not have the time or space to give to emotions and attend to them…. That is when they perpetuate, become chronic, and suffering appears.
These develop physiological expressions and are accompanied by reactions of pleasure or pain depending on the valence that is given in relation to the coping that is done. And therefore, depending on how all of the above arises, emotions finally induce certain actions; depending on how we take and manage them.
Good or bad? The judgments
Normally we have always associated certain emotions with negative aspects and others with positive aspects. But we have really done it that way because of the way in which we value those emotions or manage them. They do not teach us how to manage anxiety or sadness when they are really just as valuable as joy and surprise
Normally we get distressed when we feel “negative emotions” because we don’t know how to give them space… We simply try to avoid them and not get into them; That’s when they get bigger, more intense…
Usually We resist feeling certain emotions because we have certain preconceived ideas about ourselves that are idealized and not real This way of coping with emotions promotes short-term security, but in the long run it can cause deterioration, immobility and frustration.
Basic emotions
Although the emotional universe of humans is broad and complex (much has been written about it in recent years in fields such as psychology or medicine) We are going to focus on four basic and universal emotions related to stress: fear, anger, sadness and joy. Below we summarize its manifestations, expression, usefulness, limitations, temporal focus and distortions.
What to do with emotions?
For emotional management it is essential, first of all, to work on the prejudices we have towards certain emotions. Because if we anchor ourselves in the thought and self-demand that we cannot feel certain emotions, we will not be able to move forward.
Many times we anchor ourselves and block ourselves with certain emotions because we want to find reasons why it appears to us, from a place of anger. And this has to do with the sense of identity because we have preconceived ideas about ourselves and, for example… if one day anxiety appears in a person who believes themselves to be strong, they will not allow themselves to feel it.
Behind every emotion there is a message. Emotions appear as a reaction to what we are experiencing, therefore… we must pay special attention to these processes and pay attention to what happens to us inside. Ask ourselves what this emotion means to us, why it is appearing to us at that moment.
Only from here is where we can transform emotions to a place where things can be better understood. Because emotions are excellent vehicles towards change. They help us grow and have better ideas of who we are. When we take responsibility for them, even if there is some risk in the short term… in the long term, prosperity, resilience, health and well-being will occur.
But this mentioned above can only be carried out when we know how to manage our emotions well, thus trusting our resources to go through the discomfort of this process. Because Crises and suffering (in safe conditions) can transform pain into resilience, health and well-being
Strategies for emotional management
The main step to be able to carry out good emotional management is not to react, but to respond consciously and calmly to them. Therefore, the following steps are necessary:
1. Create a pause between stimulus and response
This helps not to react impulsively, but rather to do this process more calmly and pause… to be able to decide freely how and with what resources to act and not respond automatically
2. Direct attention inward
It is advisable to direct your attention towards what is moving within you and really see what we are feeling, give it a name, recognize it.
3. Understand why we are feeling said emotion
Find its usefulness and what message this emotion wants to tell us.
4. Accept that we are having that emotion and all its nuances
Only from acceptance and not from resistance, is where change and development can arise
5. Modulate the response
What can we do with this, to feel better? Apply the transform. Each emotion and emotional process will have its best response for each person and context
Depending on the context and with special care, we can attend to the effect of the emotion and its expression both on ourselves and on others. Only then can we decide what emotions we want to express and with whom we want to do it.
Finally, those that we do not want to express, we will let them pass until they weaken, trying to use the strategies that best suit us and help us go through said discomfort (a pleasant or relaxing activity, breathing, meditation, socializing, letting off steam with sports, etc. ).