Social anxiety is one of those experiences that can feel like a mess that’s hard to untangle.. For those who experience it, everything seems to go in circles: loneliness is heavy, but the idea of being with other people can also be overwhelming.
In these cases, when we see it from this perspective, it seems as if there is no way out or that “the cure is worse than the disease”, but here comes the good news: there are always ways to begin to untangle that knot. Let’s talk about the vicious cycle of social phobia and how its effects can be managed on those who experience it. Keep reading!
Social anxiety, also known as social phobia, is not just being shy or nervous in certain situations. It is a constant and very strong fear that can complicate daily life, because those who suffer from it feel that they are always being observed or judged, whether in a negative or positive way… But the fact of feeling under the magnifying glass of the world, oops!, can be scary.
Social anxiety is a disorder characterized by a very great fear of social situations. It’s not the typical nervousness before an interview or presentation.No! It is a fear so strong that it can cause someone to avoid meetings, events, or any place where they feel they might be criticized.
This problem not only affects emotionally, it is also noticeable physically with manifestations such as sweating, palpitations, turning red and muscle tension.
People with social anxiety want to socialize, but their fear is so intense that they end up avoiding what could help them. This creates a cycle that is difficult to break, where avoidance reinforces fear.7
Sometimes it is not so easy to notice that someone has this disorder because many people try to hide it, but there are always signs that reveal what they are experiencing. For example, these people often avoid social situations such as parties, family gatherings, or even phone calls.
Something that also happens a lot is that People with social anxiety worry too much about what others think of themso they feel very uncomfortable in groups or look for excuses not to go to certain places.
But, importantly, do not confuse social anxiety with introversion or shyness. While the latter are personality traits, social anxiety is a disorder that causes a lot of discomfort and can greatly limit the daily life of those who suffer from it.
You may think that those with social anxiety prefer to be alone because it avoids the discomfort of socializing. But beware, a study led by Fallon R. Goodman and his team shows that this idea is not so simple. In fact, the results might surprise you.
What the study found
This study investigated whether people with social anxiety can enjoy social interactions, despite their fear.
Using a method where participants answered surveys several times a day for two weeks, the researchers found something interesting: Although those with social anxiety reported fewer positive and more negative emotions overall, within each person something curious was noticed. Both those with and without social anxiety reported feeling better emotionally when they were with other people than when they were alone..
And here comes the interesting thing. People with social anxiety had a greater increase in their positive emotions when socializing than those without the disorder. This means that even though socializing causes anxiety, it can also give them a sense of well-being and connection.
This breaks with the idea that those with social anxiety are better off isolated. On the contrary, although socializing is complicated for them, it can be a source of happiness. Of course, the initial fear makes the process quite a challenge.
Why is it so hard to get out of this circle?
The answer lies in avoidance. When someone with social anxiety avoids a fearful situation, they feel immediate relief that can be deceptive.
This relief gives the impression that the problem has been resolved, but what really happens is that it reinforces the idea that these situations are “dangerous” or impossible to handle. This makes the person more inclined to avoid similar encounters in the future, believing that this will protect themselves from anxiety.
However, what seems like a solution ends up becoming an obstaclesince with each avoidance the fear becomes greater and facing it feels increasingly difficult.
This cycle repeats itself over and over again, trapping the person in a vicious cycle that limits their social and emotional life. The key is to break that cycle, but doing so takes time, patience, and, often, professional support.
How to get out of this circle?
First, calm; you’re not trapped forever. Social anxiety has a solution and there are ways to get out of this cycle. Here are some ideas:
Getting out of this cycle is challenging, we know, but there are ways to manage it. With time and the right support, it is possible to regain self-confidence, remove the supposed layer of protection that loneliness provides to begin to enjoy social interactions a little more.