To Avoid Developing Anxiety, Start By Not Avoiding Certain Situations
When is avoidance not a good option? We are used to running away and avoiding discomfort, but there are times when this only complicates the problem more. And to overcome it we must face it in another way.
Avoiding what harms or bothers us is the first impulse but, as we will see, it is not always the best option. If it is a specific problem, it may be adaptive to try to avoid discomfort or things that cause us anxiety or discomfort.
But… How can we ensure that the repetition of situations that generate discomfort does not take its toll on us? Well it’s simple; If it limits or harms us in our daily lives, if it lasts over time, it means that it is something to be resolved, not simply avoided.
For example, if I am afraid of heights, I will not go hiking in places that I consider dangerous, but I will make an effort to overcome the fear of that place that I usually walk through and that, although it scares me, it is not worth it to avoid.
The importance of not always resorting to what is comfortable
We realize that avoiding is not strictly bad if this attitude is not constant, only punctual and if it does not condition us.
It seems like a logical reaction, but experience speaks for itself; If we avoid having a bad time, In the end we have it worse because the fear we have remains or increases but never reduces, and it is increasingly difficult for us to face it or we feel more helpless in the face of it. Avoidance in itself is the same as not coping, and this situation can easily cause us anxiety.
It has been shown that avoiding a feared situation increases fear of future experiences. Gives a false sense of control and ends up producing effects contrary to those we intend to obtain, because far from avoiding having a bad time and feeling capable of overcoming it, it only leads us to postpone that bad experience, since we will find ourselves in that situation again.
If we avoid it, we are not trusting our own resources, and this feeling of incompetence and lack of confidence is what causes fear or anxiety.
Measure the risks, try to be realistic
Getting closer to what makes us feel good and moving away from what makes us suffer is an ancient survival mechanism; Even moving away from what we think, intuit or assume can be harmful to us. When something dangerous happens, innate survival mechanisms are activated in us that depending on the assessment of the situation make us fight, flee or paralyze.
So we measure the risks. I will fight if I think I have a good chance of winning, and there are those who do not take risks if they are not clear that a situation is not a risk. I will flee if I think it is too high a risk or if it does not seem like an acceptable risk to me. I will stop if fear invades me and I think I have no chance, not even to escape.
Avoiding is fleeing, and it is confirming to yourself that you cannot face that situation. It is accepting that this situation is dangerous and this increases fear, which causes us feelings of incompetence. But we must not let our fear make us interpret the situation in an erroneous way, that is, exaggerated or catastrophic, and it is important to be aware that when fear invades us it makes us think what is not.
How do we overcome fear and stop avoiding?
The first thing is to realize that not avoiding and facing something is a resource that we already have and that we use very often. And the second thing is to be able to not let fear decide for us. If the motivation is strong, we will be able to face what we did not imagine at first.
But even more important is that as the days go by in which we do what we have to do, we see that most of the time the risk is not as extreme as we thought. Being cautious is a coping resource; If something carries a risk, I do it carefully or take certain precautions, but I don’t run away and turn being cautious into being fearful.
It is common for people who have experienced difficult situations over time to become more cautious, wiser or more respectful to avoid accidents… They measure the risks better, they have more experience.
But people who have lived avoiding feeling bad, or have avoided discomfort and frustration, or who have been helpless in a situation, will choose with fear and not wisely in many things, which will cause fear to gain ground and their comfort zone is increasingly smaller, and leaving it increasingly causes more anxiety.
The main obstacle
The problem is the false sense of security, and that is what makes most people, when this happens to them, not seek help to overcome it. They feel better this way, in their sometimes reduced comfort zone, than facing fear, because it is what they believe works for them.
When you begin to limit them and interfere in their life or that of their family members, that is when they can realize that it is not worth it to continue being invaded by fear, and they will have the motivation to face and solve that fear that does not allow them to live fully. forever.
As you can see, in this article we work on the cognitive component of the situation. Understanding how fear works is a great step to prevent it from taking control and thus being able to act as best suits us instead of how we feel. If you also combine it with relaxation techniques, you will be putting up a great barrier to fear, and therefore the chances of that situation ending up causing you anxiety will decrease. Remember: do not avoid, but confront and not believe everything that fear makes me feel or think.
