What Are The 5 Phases Of Grief And How To Overcome Them?
How to deal with the death of a loved one? Do you know what the phases of grief are? Discover how to overcome deep sadness in the different stages of grief through psychology.
Go through a duel It is an experience that we will all have to go through. Although there are different phases of grief identified, the reality is that each person experiences the loss process in a completely different way. In these situations, deep sadness is a more than normal reaction to the pain experienced due to the death of a loved one. Here we will show you what stages of grief we usually go through and how we can face them in the best possible way.
The word grief means pain, so the grieving process It will involve going through the pain caused by the loss we have experienced. The common link between these very diverse situations is the need to assimilate and organize the feelings that the painful situation in the face of this loss provokes in us.
According to the psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler Ross There are different stages we can go through in the grieving process. So much so that in his research he established that there were 5 phases of grief that it was common to go through when faced with the death of a loved one.
The 5 Phases of Grief
In it grieving process There are a series of more or less long stages that we have to go through until we are able to assimilate our pain. Neither this process in general, nor its stages in particular, have a defined time that is met in all cases. Each person needs time to accept the person’s death and will go through the different stages at the pace that their personal resources allow. These stages do not follow an order, but people can return to the different phases until they can assimilate that the loved one is no longer there and accept this fact as something inevitable in life. In this way, the phases of the Kübler-Ross duel are as follows.
1. Denial
The first of the phases of grief It is the denial after the death of a loved one, where the grieving person enters a state of paralysis in which they feel as if their entire world stops and nothing makes sense. In the grieving process, denying the reality of what has happened is a very common reaction in the first moments since life without that person is impossible to imagine. An extreme feeling of deep sadness invades the grieving person. In most people this feeling manifests itself through crying, but not everyone expresses it in the same way.
There are situations in which the loss of a loved one It is more difficult to assimilate due to the circumstances in which it occurs, such as in the case of an unexpected death or when it involves people whose loss is not assumed to be normal, such as the death of young people or even as children. This feeling of disbelief at what has happened allows us to gradually assimilate the reality of the new situation, now without the loved one; and the pain it causes us. One of these stages of grief ends when the person is able to assimilate the reality of this loss. The denial phase of the death of a loved one usually lasts very short since reality always confirms to us that this person is no longer with us.
2. Anger
In the following phases of mourning Once the reality of the loss has been assimilated, the grieving person will feel intense anger at what has happened. Although anger will be present almost throughout the grieving process, it is in these stages of grieving where it acquires its greatest intensity.
Anger can be directed at anyone, be it friends, family, oneself or even the deceased person, which increases the grieving person’s feeling of guilt. In cases of unexpected deaths, feelings of injustice are even greater (“what happened is not fair”) and therefore the anger reaction is even more intense. In this phase also, because reality begins to emerge About grief and sorrow which makes the feelings of losing a loved one much more intense.
3. Negotiation
In one of these phases of grief the grieving person focuses on what “could have done but didn’t” to avoid loss, even if it is not your responsibility. People who believe in God try “negotiate” with it, offer something (usually done in the form of a promise) in exchange for being able to go back in the past and recover your loved one. The negotiation stage also usually appears before the loss occurs, with the aim of trying to postpone the death of the loved one. In this way, an attempt is made to control the situation of grief and death even though people do not have the ability to change it.
In these phases of grief, the grieving person is already fully aware of the reality of the loss and what it implies, they stop focusing on what happened to focus their attention on the present, where the loved one is no longer there. During the phases of depression Feelings of loneliness, abandonment, deep pain, fear and uncertainty about what is to come take over the grieving person. For the grieving person, life at this time has no meaning, so getting up every day is a suffering and they tend to isolate themselves from their friends and from professional and recreational activities. It is important to keep in mind that depression in the grieving process is a necessary stage in it, in order to later come to accept the absence of the deceased.
5. Acceptance
It is not until this moment that the grieving person accept the reality of your loss of a loved one, understanding the inevitability of that and without preventing herself from being able to continue living her life. It’s about learning to live with loss, seeing that life still has meaning despite what happened. This does not mean that the deceased person is forgotten or the pain disappears, but that what happened is accepted as something inevitable and that it cannot be changed no matter how much we mourn the loss of the loved one. During the acceptance phases, the grieving person will gradually resume their habits and recover their social relationships.
How to overcome a duel?
The loss of a loved one is something inevitable that we will all have to go through at some point or another. Although it is very possible that we go through each of the stages of grief that we have described, the reality is that we must accept the pain and assume it to be able to continue with our lives. In this way, we can follow the following tips to know how to accept the death of a family member or friend.
Don’t pressure yourself
One of the fundamental aspects to keep in mind is not to pressure yourself with fixed times or specific actions, since time is different for each person and each person will use the available resources. You must accept each of the feelings and emotions involved in the different phases of grief for the death of your loved one.
Seek support
Family and social support is very important in grieving. Expressing the emotions around the loss will make you feel much more relieved. Understanding the process, knowing the emotions and needs that arise throughout it, is the best way to help you manage your feelings in a healthy way that allows you to assimilate and adapt to the reality of your situation. loss
Do not isolate yourself
In many cases when people suffer the deep sadness that comes with the different stages of grief, they usually try to isolate themselves and do without human contact. Although it is okay to take your time alone to come to terms with the loss, the reality is that we must keep in mind that we must get out of these feelings to get back to our lives.
It is important to consult with a psychology professional in grieving situations, as this can favor carrying out a duel normal, more acceptable to the person who finds themselves in this situation and on the other hand, prevents situations of pathological grief and other mental health problems derived from them from being triggered.
In this sense, it is necessary for the psychology professional to know the different phases of grief and the characteristics of each of them, since on many occasions we can make the mistake of interpreting natural and necessary manifestations of this process as pathological. Likewise, the professional must know how to convey to the affected person what is normal and what could be considered pathological about the grief they are experiencing.
Assume the death of a loved one is not easy Despite this, we must accept all these feelings and emotions around the grieving process in order to move forward.
