What Are the Causes of Emotional Dependence?

Emotional dependence is a psychological state with repercussions on the emotional-social relationships established by the person, whether family, friendship or romantic relationships, with dependence occurring mainly in the latter relationships.

Usually, the person is not aware of the degree of dependency that can develop in these ties, but he is capable of identifying the discomfort that causes him to distance himself from the person on whom he has placed that dependency. Furthermore, these dependent people have a lack of self-control in their actions, which increases as their discomfort increases.

The most common thing in these cases is create a pattern of emotional dependency throughout the development of your entire life with all your relationships, although it can only occur in an area such as, for example, a romantic relationship. In these cases, the psychological consequences can be greater, since due to their dependent nature they will look for dominant and authoritarian people who favor and feed their needs, thus entering into toxic relationships.

Symptoms of emotional dependence

These are the main warning signs.

1. Idealization of the couple or person on whom said dependency is based

Dependent assumes that the other is the perfect person he never makes mistakes and all the decisions he makes are correct.

2. Anxiety and stress

These They may be caused by the emotional and physical distance they may feel from the other person There is poor emotional management in the face of distancing and panic over the possibility of feeling or being rejected. All these emotions can only be “controlled” by getting closer to the person.

3. Fear of being or feeling alone

People who have developed this psychological phenomenon They will prefer not to abandon those relationships and will obsessively cling to them Because of this fear, they will develop a great feeling of emptiness and hopelessness in the face of the possible loss of the relationship, always staying alert to the possibility of it happening.

In their relationships with dominant people, they will be submissive. They will not express their opinion or want to argue, since they will not want to cause displeasure or discomfort in their partner.

4. Feeling of inferiority to other people

This people They will not believe themselves to be good enough in their relationships or valid in any area so they probably believe they are being obsessively deceived.

Possible causes of emotional dependence

These are the most frequent causes of emotional dependence.

1. Low self-esteem

It is a really important factor for this problem, since dependent people They see their self-esteem and self-concept conditioned by their relationship with others If they feel valued, they see their worth reinforced through their environment. However, the more submissive they are to that environment, the more deteriorated their self-esteem will be, thus modulating it through the feedback they receive.

2. Insecurity

They will not be able to provide personal opinions, they will always be guided by what others say and think because this way they will get their approval. They feel the continuous need to please, so they will adapt as much as they can to the needs and desires of others, again favoring that submission.

3. Low self-confidence

They will have great difficulty making decisions for themselves, feeling the continuous need to consult and delegate them on the person on whom they have turned their dependence.

4. Irrational beliefs

These are about your ties and relationships, such as believing that you must agree on all personal values ​​and interests.

5. Possible educational component

Emotional education in the critical stages of development such as childhood and adolescence, is essential for building good emotional health, nurturing self-esteem and self-confidence, all of which is essential for preventing the development of possible dependency.

How to face it?

We must promote the adequate development of the autonomy and independence of the dependent person, work on their self-esteem and enhance their internal resources, as well as help them learn to manage them.

Besides, exhaustive work on irrational beliefs will be necessary that predominate in their emotional relationships, as well as carry out different workshops in which they can increase their social skills, assertive communication capabilities and problem solving/decision making. We will have to accompany them throughout the process of building their independent “I” and help them adopt new ways of life and relate healthier to the environment and to themselves.

With the effort and perseverance of the person, we can achieve an independent attitude without needing extra relationships to be comfortable with ourselves and sure of our decisions.