What is an Emotional Kidnapping and How to Avoid it

Emotions have been an important part of our reality since the beginning of humanity. However, we are not always able to control the reactions they produce and that can even lead us to act disproportionately in certain circumstances. After this type of reaction, it is common to feel guilt or remorse when we realize that we have acted exaggeratedly. If this has happened to you, you may have gone through an emotional kidnapping.

In order to delve deeper into the topic, in this Psychology For article we explain What is an emotional kidnapping and how to avoid it. The idea is that you learn to identify your emotions so that you are able to control them and make them work in your favor.

What is an emotional kidnapping?

Emotional kidnapping is a response of the limbic system to any threatening situation that the person experiences. This system acts to limit the reasoning or logical capacity of the neocortex. In this way, when it senses an alarm signal, the body activates the amygdala to secrete hormones such as cortisol or adrenaline, in order to prepare the body to flee or fight.

Therefore, emotional kidnapping is the dominance of emotions over reasoning. This causes people to activate various defense mechanisms that include intuitive reactions and even momentary memory requests. The duration of an emotional kidnapping has to do with the emotional intelligence of each person and the control they have over their own emotions.

Likewise, people who suffer an emotional kidnapping usually do not remember their actions clearly and may lose the ability to communicate logically and coherently, since the limbic system takes control momentarily, limiting controlled, analyzed or rational responses.

Why emotional kidnappings occur

What causes an emotional kidnapping? The American psychologist Daniel Goleman, states in his book “Emotional Intelligence” that this type of kidnapping manifests itself when one’s own emotions, generally negative ones such as, for example, fear, hatred, anger or rage, among others, They are capable of “hijacking” the amygdala of the brain, which is the part in charge of emotional control.

Therefore, when the brain detects imminent danger or certain stressors, a discharge of adrenaline and other survival hormones begins to try to get the body to face this supposed danger, leaving the capacity for analysis, logic and reflection momentarily blocked.

That is why, during emotional kidnapping, rational decisions are limited, since the upper cortex of the brain is deactivated and people tend to be more reactive than rational. Furthermore, all attention is focused on pleasing the expressed emotion, so the analytical focus of the situation is lost.

Consequences of an emotional kidnapping

How do people act under emotional kidnapping? Emotional hijacking disconnects logic and reasoning to activate primitive reactions housed in the subconscious brain. Therefore, some of the consequences of emotional kidnapping are:

• Uncontrolled nerves and alteration of blood circulation.
• Overstimulation of the body due to the uncontrolled production of reactive hormones.
• Blockage of the cognitive and analytical part of the brain.
• Increased levels of stress and anxiety.
• Appearance of some somatic reactions: for example, difficulty breathing, rapid heartbeat, dizziness, among others.
• The mind becomes clouded and certain memories of the event are limited.
• Are produced momentary reactions without thinking about the future consequences.

During an emotional kidnapping one acts irrationally and many times when the storm passes come regrets for the actions committed.

How to avoid an emotional kidnapping

There are different strategies to avoid emotional kidnapping. One of the most effective is to increase your emotional intelligence so that you learn to proactively address your own emotions or those of others. Additionally, you can put the following recommendations into practice:

• Recognize your emotions: Instead of trying to repress what you feel, give yourself space to identify your sensations in order to tune in to them. This way, you will be able to handle them more assertively.
• Change settings immediately: One of the most effective techniques to control an emotional kidnapping is to breathe up to 10 or think about a simple mathematical problem, since that way your mind will focus on another point and not on the emotion that seeks to dominate you.
• Share your load or seek help: If you feel overwhelmed, it is best to try to vent with someone you trust or seek the help of a professional to help you cope with the situation.

Examples of emotional kidnapping

As we have already mentioned before, emotional kidnapping is part of the fight or flight response that the human species has always had. Therefore, there are a large number of examples of emotional kidnapping that are experienced daily. We leave you some of them below:

• If a wild animal attacks: In these cases, the person activates their survival system to flee the place or defend themselves. So it blocks the rational or cognitive part of your brain.
• When someone insults you: When a person you really appreciate insults you or speaks badly of you without warning, you will experience anger or annoyance about what happened.
• If you feel very jealous by your partner and you cannot control those emotions, an emotional outburst occurs that can end in arguments. In this article you will find How to stop being jealous.
• You discover that someone has cheated on you or you have an argument with a family member and start a heated argument.

In any case, the important thing is to recognize that most of these situations can occur at any time in our lives, so we must learn to handle them with tact and assertiveness.

This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to What is an emotional kidnapping and how to avoid it we recommend that you enter our Emotions category.

Bibliography

• Aguirre, OR (2017). Learn to listen to your inner voice. Your psychologists in CDMX: Irradia Terapia.
• Vallés Arandiga (2017). Social skills reinforcement program III. EOS.