Slut-Shaming is a phenomenon that affects women directly and threatens their freedom of expression. Find out what it is and how to combat it in this post.
He Slut Shaming it’s a Social phenomenon in which, people call any woman who behaves in a way that is not socially accepted or who fits little with what is expected of the traditional woman as a “slut”, “slut”, “easy” or “whore”, both in the way he dresses and/or his physical appearance in general as in their social, sentimental or sexual attitudes and relationships
It is important to clarify that this constant criticism can end up becoming a harassment which can affect the emotional well-being of the woman herself, her self-esteem and their freedom of action and decision.
It is clear that we live in a society loaded with prejudices and stereotypes but this phenomenon directly attacks women’s freedom, since everything they do is questioned and evaluated by society (and by society I am not only talking about men but also about women themselves).
I am going to list different situations in which you surely feel or have felt identified at some point, either as a victim or as an executioner:
You see a singer on television who is lightly dressed, shows more than is usually accepted and the movements she makes while dancing are very sensual. What do you think? The first thing that is usually said is not exactly nice. This person is often accused of being a whore and it is common to hear phrases like: “how does this girl lower herself to get fans?”
You go down the street and see a girl with lots of makeup, tight clothing, low neckline, heels and tattoos in sensual areas. What do we think? “You can see that she is looking for a topic.”
You are in a nightclub and you see a group of girls “twerking” with each other, having a good time, dancing and provoking (if it is accompanied by sensual clothing, the criticism intensifies). Typical phrase: “what bitches, how they are warming up the staff.”
You see a friend/colleague/acquaintance who doesn’t have a stable partner and hooks up with the boys she wants when she wants. Initial thought? “She’s fresh, she has no dignity.”
If you are a sexually active girl, who likes sexual games or unusual practices such as anal sex, partner swapping, you take erotic photos or videos with your partner or practice sadomasochism, you will surely be criticized by others.
You see a girl fooling around with someone but ultimately decides not to go for something else or they even kiss but don’t sleep. What usually happens? Normally people think that that girl is “hot…”
Obviously no one likes not being socially accepted. Fashion, for example, has that reason for being. We look for the acceptance of others and when we don’t achieve it we feel bad. That person only has two options: either keep his preferences and tastes a secret or stop doing what he likes or express himself freely. Both consequences will make you feel rejected and misunderstood and will reduce your self-esteem In order to receive social acceptance, the person has to stop being themselves, and that obviously unbalances them emotionally.
The worst of all is that society is so hard on women that you hear phrases like: “then she will complain when they rape her”, “how can they not take advantage of her if she provokes?” or “she is encouraging there to be more rapists out there.” All these phrases should be considered well and do an exercise in self-criticism before saying them.
For a woman to talk about her sexual practices is frowned upon, for her to say that she masturbates is frowned upon, for her to be very sexually active is frowned upon, for her to enter a sex shop is frowned upon, if she has been unfaithful to her boyfriend or husband is a whore (and you don’t need to know anything else about that person or the relationship, you just judge him)…
Needless to say, if all these practices are carried out by a man, he is not usually questioned. The man is free to proclaim to the women he sleeps with, the sexual practices he engages in (no matter how unusual they may be), he can freely say that he masturbates or watches porn, if he is unfaithful or has been, he can dress however he wants, seduce however he wants and be himself. In any case he will be seen as a Casanova, a womanizer or a hummingbird. But all this does not have the same connotation as in women.
Luckily times are changing and more and more people consider that women have the same rights as men to talk about sex, enjoy sex, change partners, not have a partner and have affairs, dress as you want and show yourself as you want.
My advice for people who find it difficult to modernize is:
Think that we live in the 21st century, we all have the right to be as we want to be, show ourselves freely and not feel censored (as long as no legal irregularities are committed). Open your mind, think about how you would feel if you were judged by how you visit, how you act and what you like to do. Put yourself in the shoes of others and do a little self-criticism: Do you really like being so critical? Don’t do what you wouldn’t want done to you. Live your life, focus on yourself and avoid judging others.
