Emotional dependence is behind many emotional problems both with others and with oneself. That is why this is behind a good part of the forms of discomfort on which psychologists intervene when working in the context of psychotherapy for individual patients and in couples therapy.
If you want to know what they are the main strategies used to intervene in the psychological treatment of emotional dependence keep reading.
What is emotional dependency?
In the field of personal relationships, emotional dependence is understood from Psychology as a form of connection between two or more people in which a dynamic of sentimental subordination and fear of rejection is created, so that an asymmetry is created in which one party tends to obey and to seek the approval of the other in practically all contexts, while the other person makes the important decisions and has the ability to psychologically manipulate the person who adopts a role of obedience. It occurs in relationships, friendships, and family relationships.
These types of interactions can continue this way for months or even years, and cause the relationship to deteriorate due to the way in which the individuals involved reinforce this type of behavior , going deeper and deeper into the difference in roles; The person who remains in a subordinate position feels that he or she can lose the other at any moment and will never sacrifice enough to ensure that the bond remains strong, and the other has constant incentives to continue being the one who organizes and directs the relationship. behavior of the previous one.
On the other hand, it is very common that those who have gone through emotional dependence tend to continue developing this form of relationships with more people in the future, whether within the framework of a friendship or a relationship. Luckily, these kinds of problems can be overcome in psychotherapy, as we will see.
Psychotherapeutic treatment of emotional dependence
These are the main strategies and therapeutic resources most used when treating emotional dependence in psychotherapy processes.
1. Cognitive restructuring
One of the characteristics of emotional dependence is that It greatly affects the belief system from which the affected person usually behaves , so that the latter has a very distorted view of herself and the unequal relationship she is maintaining. That is to say, in part, it is the emotionally dependent person who sabotages himself by subjecting himself to more pressure than is advisable and judging himself in a very severe way.
To get out of this vicious circle of self-harmful self-criticism, we must detect the most problematic beliefs and replace them with others that are more realistic, and for this, cognitive restructuring is very useful, a set of strategies that are the basis of cognitive-behavioral therapy. In this part of psychotherapy, the psychologist guides the patient through a series of questions that make him rethink what he thinks he knows and to what extent it is positive or negative to hold certain beliefs.
2. Management of anxiety and distress
Both anxiety and the more abstract feeling of anguish are types of discomfort that usually lead the emotionally dependent person to try to relieve that tension by doing everything possible not to feel abandoned and, consequently, sacrificing themselves for the relationship they are maintaining in an asymmetrical way. . This is a way of attributing to a specific and easily locatable cause the psychological problems linked to fear and personal insecurities although in reality the trigger does not even have to be limited to that relationship.
Therefore, another aspect of the treatment of emotional dependence consists of applying an anxiety management program that allows the person to identify the emotions and feelings linked to it, the situations that “activate” that mental state, and the best ways to channel that discomfort by applying truly constructive strategies.
Furthermore, facing unfair relationship dynamics can be intimidating, and keeping that fear under control is a challenge that must be worked on in therapy. To achieve this, controlled exposure and systematic desensitization have been proven to be very useful.
3. Assertiveness training
Learning to be an assertive person is necessary to make relationships equitable and fair for both parties. However, those who suffer from emotional dependence usually have problems expressing their emotions, desires and interests, prioritizing the other’s point of view. To avoid this, in psychotherapy we work to ensure that the patient dares to say what he thinks, achieving a balance between respect for others and respect for oneself.
4. Detection of dependency situations
Knowing how to immediately recognize communicative exchanges or thoughts linked to emotional dependence is another key to overcoming this problem. To do this, we work on self-knowledge techniques, using as a basis the creation of a personal diary that must be kept updated and that will provide material for psychotherapy, since it helps to remember relevant experiences.
5. Resolution of past conflicts
Many times, to overcome emotional dependence in psychotherapy it is necessary to address past conflicts that continue to damage a family or couple relationship. That’s why, Sometimes it is recommended to combine individual therapy, on the one hand, with couples therapy or family therapy, on the other.
Are you looking for professional psychological assistance?
If you are interested in starting a process of individualized therapy or couples therapy, contact us.
In Cribecca Psychology We work serving people of all ages, and we offer the option of holding online sessions as well as in-person sessions.