How can we face a situation with troublesome teenagers? What to do if our teenager disrespects us? Discover how to address bad behavior in teenagers.
The problematic teenagers They are those who end up abusing alcohol or drugs, or who become violent towards those people who want to help them face their problems. Given these behaviors, what can parents do?
Why can teenagers be problematic?
The teenagers can be conflictive because their brain, which is still developing, processes information completely differently than a mature adult does. In fact, the frontal cortex, the part of the brain we use to manage emotions, make decisions, reason, and control inhibitions, restructures during adolescence.
This is why sometimes teenagers behave impulsively, make bad decisions, and end up rebelling against their parents and society. Still, despite these behaviors that are challenging you must keep in mind that adolescents continue to need your attention and feel loved by their parents.
When can we consider that adolescents are conflictive?
Sometimes we can consider some attitudes typical of adolescents, even though they are negative for them and for the family environment. Some of the signs that may indicate that teenagers are problematic and require help are the following:
- Makeover: When a teenager completely and radically changes their appearance, it can be a warning sign that they are experiencing certain problems at school or in other areas. The evidence that may be key is that they present cuts, self-harm or extreme weight loss or gain.
- Rebellious behavior: Arguments are normal when you live with a teenager, but when they become too intense or even end in violence, this indicates that you have a behavioral problem that needs to be addressed. Especially if these fights are very constant.
- Humor changes: Adolescents often experience mood swings due to hormones and their development, which can cause them to be irritable. But rapid changes in your personality, trouble sleeping, or persistent sadness can be signs that a mental health problem exists, such as anxiety or depression.
- Experimenting with alcohol or drugs: Most teenagers will try alcohol and tobacco. In some cases they will even experiment with other drugs. Given these behaviors typical of adolescence, it is important to talk openly with them and inform them about the risks that these behaviors may have. When alcohol or drug use becomes very habitual and ends up causing problems at school or at home, it is important that it be treated immediately.
- Influence of friends: During adolescence, friends become very important. But when friendships change quickly and encourage negative behavior, this should set off alarm bells. On the contrary, if teenagers spend too much time alone, this may also indicate that they are facing problems.
What should I do when my teenager disrespects me?
Naps dealing with a problematic teenager , it is important to ask for help from a mental health professional. Even so, we also advise you to take the following into account:
- Try to get closer to your teenager: Although adolescents, especially conflictive ones , they will show a lot of indifference towards their parents, the reality is that they continue to long for love, approval and acceptance from their parents. Therefore, you should try to get closer even if they seem dissatisfied with it. For example, you can suggest talking while you have breakfast or find something you have in common. Above all, you should listen to them without judging them or giving them advice, since what teenagers are looking for is to feel understood and valued by you. Also, sometimes you have to be prepared for rejection, because sometimes they won’t be in the mood to approach their parents.
- Deal with your anger: To deal with teen anger, you need to set clear limits, rules, and consequences. That is, you should talk about it at a time when your children are calm and accept this talk. In addition, you should also analyze what may be behind the anger, as well as be aware of the triggers it may have. When faced with outbursts of anger in adolescents, it is vital that you do not confront them aggressively, try to be calm.
- Recognize the signs of depression: Many of the problematic adolescent behaviors may indicate a depressive disorder. Some of the signs that can help you know if your child is experiencing depression are: problems at school, drug and alcohol abuse, low self-esteem or even violence and reckless behavior.
- Help them find balance: Adolescents must deal with many problems, so you should try to help them achieve a certain balance at this stage. For example, you can try to make their days more structured, eating with them at certain times. Another help that can be significant is physical exercise, since practicing it regularly will help them have a better mood.
- Take care of yourself: There is no point in trying to face the situation with troubled teenagers if the parents are bad, mentally or emotionally. In this sense, it is crucial that you take care of your mental health when dealing with difficulties with your children. In this situation, it is recommended that you take time to relax every day, that you learn to talk about it and that if you have other children, do not forget to give them their dose of attention and affection.
If you feel that this situation is overwhelming you, you should go to a psychologist specialized in treating these cases. Furthermore, you must keep in mind that whatever the problems you are facing with your adolescent son/daughter you can overcome them and end up being an adult with a happy and balanced life.