When Your Partner Leaves You: The Most Common Thoughts And Their Solutions
Although many say that one cannot die of love, it is true that sentimental breakups are experienced as true tragedies for all those who suffer them and, even more so, if you are the person who has been left behind.
If you are going through this painful moment, keep in mind that some of the things that may be happening to you are typical of a grieving process (we talk about grieving when there is a loss in our life and, in this case, who we lose is our partner).
It is very possible that you will notice very intense feelings of discomfort : a lot of anxiety, enormous sadness and endless emotions and thoughts that you have not had until now and that are probably causing your self-esteem to plummet.
Common thoughts when they leave us and the relationship comes to an end
But what are those common post-breakup thoughts that make us break down?
1. You blame yourself for your actions
Guilt appears if you place excessive responsibility on everything you have done (or have not done), as if you could control everything and you had failed After being dumped, most of the time, the person even blames themselves for their partner’s reactions with phrases like “if I hadn’t said that thing, my partner would have thought something else and wouldn’t have left me.”
2. You focus on some aspect of yourself that you don’t like
And you assume that she is horrible and that is why she left you: “I’m too hysterical, it’s normal that she doesn’t want to be with me.” All this it makes your self-esteem look very damaged when it is very possible that you are not being fair to yourself at all
3. Beliefs that you will not find anyone like you
An exaggerated idealization of the person appears, thinking that they are unique and wonderful. Now you think it totally fits you
However, on other occasions you had thought just the opposite: that there were things about that person that you didn’t like.
4. Idealization of the relationship
As in the previous point, also The good things about the relationship are praised, nostalgia appears for the beautiful moments and the memory of the positive things while the not-so-good things we had with that relationship are forgotten.
To do?
Fortunately, from psychology you can find tools that help you manage this process much more easily. So, if all this is happening to you, you should do some of these things to get out of the discomfort that is overcoming you before:
1. Work on your beliefs
Work on thoughts like “I won’t find anyone like me,” “I’ve lost my chance,” and countless other things along those lines. All those thoughts that you have regarding the relationship and that you take as realities at that moment are what causes you to feel great discomfort, anxiety and sadness Working on them is key to clarifying everything that is happening and feeling better.
Feeling inferior or belittling yourself is not going to help you precisely at all, but on the contrary, it is going to harm you.
You may not be aware of everything that can influence your life today, but Having a healthy self-esteem is one of the basic pillars of emotional well-being And relationship breakups are one of the triggers that do not help to recover that self-esteem.
Related article: “Do you really know what self-esteem is?”
3. Force yourself to increase your social circle
You may not feel like it at first, but it’s important to get out. This can help you clear your mind, but also increase your social circle
In many cases, after some time together with your partner, you will have many common friendships and it is important that now you also find a social space just for yourself, without being aware of your ex.
4. Make decisions
Maybe at first you don’t feel the ability to make the best decisions clearly; however, Deciding which path to take and what actions to take is important, since having some steps to follow gives us calm and tranquility
A psychologist, through the appropriate techniques and questions, can guide you in this process, helping you to take the perspective that perhaps you are not able to have at that moment.
5. Ask for help if you need it
Nowadays with all the means there are and easy access to a psychologist through the Internet there is no point in prolonging the suffering process
