One of the most destructive emotions In a relationship it is jealousy, especially when it is not well managed by the person who experiences it and let’s say that it even goes beyond their control, causing problems not only as a couple but also as personal problems. The problem itself is not jealousy since, to a certain extent, it is normal that it can appear on certain occasions, but rather the not knowing how to manage them and that they can do more than us.
So if you’re wondering “Why am I jealous of my boyfriend?” Surely at this moment you have reached the point where it is very difficult for you to control them and feeling them is greatly affecting your emotional well-being. In this PsychologyFor article we are going to explain to you the main reasons why this is happening to you and we will also give you some tips so that you can manage them.
The main reasons why you are jealous of your boyfriend
The jealousy On some occasions they tend to be well founded because the partner may be giving us reasons to feel them, however, in most cases these are irrational. It is clear that no one likes to constantly feel jealousy since it generates a lot of discomfort, however we cannot deny that we have all felt it for one reason or another at some point in our lives.
- He’s given you reasons to be jealous. One of the reasons why you feel so jealous towards your boyfriend is because he is really giving you reasons to be jealous. Either because he has strange behaviors that make you doubt his loyalty, because he goes out all the time with his friends, among other types of specific situations that really make you feel jealous.
- Fear of abandonment. It is normal that sometimes we feel jealous towards the person we love since in the end it is an extremely important person for us that we do not want to lose, however when this jealousy becomes unhealthy we have to put a stop to it. Probably because of the relationship you had with your parents as a child, because you are a very dependent person or you feel very insecure about yourself, the fear of being abandoned is appearing in your life.
- Irrational beliefs. This has to do with the preconceived ideas you have towards relationships or towards men in particular that you have generated throughout your life. For example, if you have been told since you were little that “all men are equal,” that “in a couple there is always someone who is unfaithful,” if your father was unfaithful to your mother, etc. Now you firmly believe that things have to be this way and therefore you get jealous of your boyfriend very easily because of your fear that he will be unfaithful to you.
- Low self-esteem. A very common reason is that the extremely jealous person is very insecure and has little appreciation for himself, therefore he tends to compare himself a lot with others, feels inferior to other people and therefore believes that at any moment he can be replaced by someone. other.
How to stop being jealous of my boyfriend? 7 tips
- Work on your self-esteem. Start by working on your self-esteem and self-love since this way you will be able to feel more confident in yourself and therefore you will stop worrying so much that your boyfriend may betray you.
- Identify if your jealousy is justified or irrational. Analyze your situation and be objective by determining if your boyfriend is really giving you reasons to be jealous all the time or if the jealousy you feel is a product of your imagination and your beliefs. If you think that your boyfriend is giving you reasons to be jealous, you have to talk to him about it and reach an agreement that benefits both of you.
- Live in the present. Jealousy is caused by being worried about the future and what may happen, however the only thing that matters and that we have for sure is the here and now. So every time you find yourself thinking about what could happen, focus on the present moment and don’t suffer for something that isn’t happening.
- Trust your boyfriend. It is very important for you and your relationship that you really trust him. The fact that you trust your boyfriend also implies that you are respecting him as well as he respects you. Do you think he can trust you? If your answer is yes, then you also trust him.
- Focus on the positive. Every time you feel jealousy and it doesn’t let you be calm, it is better to focus your attention on all the good things that your relationship has and stay with that feeling of well-being that this will generate in you.
- Willpower. In order for you to stop feeling that intense and unbridled jealousy towards your partner, you need to make an effort and also work with your willpower to achieve it.
- Improve communication with your boyfriend. Good communication is the basis for having a good relationship, so try to assertively communicate those things that make you uncomfortable and reach healthy solutions together. This will also help them better solve problems that they may have over time.
In this other article we give you more tips so that you can overcome retrospective jealousy.
This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to Why am I jealous of my boyfriend? we recommend that you enter our Couples Therapy category.