When you have had a love affair in which the person you have had extramarital affairs It has been quite significant and special for you, completely forgetting about it is extremely complicated, so rather than trying to forget that person, we would be talking about acceptance, that is, accepting that that person is no longer going to be in your life and you would eventually end up getting over it. If you’re wondering right now, Why can’t I forget my lover? It is because really or apparently what you want is to be able to do so to continue the relationship with your current partner since he is the person you want to be with.
This topic is very complicated since we tend to confuse love with falling in love, which results in these types of situations of anxiety and confusion. That is why in this PsychologyFor article we are going to describe you in detail what are the reasons why you can’t do it and we will also explain to you what the difference is between loving and being in love.
Have you heard of the Romeo and Juliet effect? This is the name given to all those situations where people in love for some reason or another cannot be together, as happened to the protagonists of this literary novel. And it’s not just that it’s difficult for them to be together, but just like them, the less they could be together. the more love and desire increased from one to another. It’s like talking about celebrities “forbidden love” It seems that the more they are for us, the more we fall in love with the other person. But why does this situation occur?
It is scientifically proven that just as increases the dose of dopamine in our brain when we fall in love, it also increases in the face of adversity, therefore if we are in love with a person and there are obstacles in the way that make it difficult for us to be by their side, we will feel even more in love. It is for this reason that it is not unusual for lovers to be able to do practically anything to be next to the person they love, even if it is just to see them for a few hours, that is what matters least to them.
There are those who, for example, have done any kind of crazy thing to be with the other person, they have gone to live in another country, even another continent, they have left good jobs, they have traveled for many hours to be just for a moment. day or a few hours with that special person, among many other things.
Difference between love and infatuation
Another aspect that is important to learn to differentiate is love from falling in love. There is a huge difference between what is true love and falling in love When we are in love, it has been scientifically proven that even brain chemistry changes, so that our brain produces a series of hormones in greater quantities, such as serotonin, and therefore we experience emotions twice as much.
For example, a person in love may experience the famous butterflies in the stomach when they see the person they love, they may also feel a kind of emotional ups and downs depending on what the other person does or does not do, they may feel like they are in a kind of state of become alert and experience exaggerated nervousness every time they are next to the other person, think about them all the time, constantly dream about that person, among many other manifestations that vary from person to person.
There is no doubt that being in love when we are reciprocated is an extremely pleasant experience, however falling in love has a deadline and when this happens, we automatically stop feeling all these emotions and can really see the loved one as they are, without idealizing them. From that moment on, it is in our hands to decide whether we are going to continue loving that person despite their defects and virtues (as we all have) or not to continue. building a stronger love and lasting that would be real love so to speak.
4 reasons why you can’t forget your lover
Below we will mention the reasons why it is so difficult for you to forget your lover.
Forbidden love: The fact that the Romeo and Juliet effect that I explained to you at the beginning is happening to you is one of the reasons why it may be even more difficult for you to forget your lover, since we are also talking about a relationship that for you and probably also for she is prohibited since one or both of them have a partner.
You fell in love : the fact that you are in love with your lover and the emotions that this provokes in you do not allow you to forget her no matter how much you want to.
Problems in your partner : Your current relationship is not very good, so to avoid it you prefer to continue thinking about being with your lover.
Greater well-being: You have the feeling that your lover gives you something that you are not having in your current relationship.
This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to Why can’t I forget my lover we recommend that you enter our Couples Therapy category.
