Why It Is Necessary For Your Partner To Know Your Authentic “I”
It is clear that Communication is essential in relationships, but it is not everything; there is something else. No matter how much information flows between two lovers, this data can be interpreted in the wrong way. And this happens more frequently than it might seem, among other things, because when it comes to forming a mental image of our partner we are prone to construct a biased version of it.
It actually makes sense that this is the case, since as in the context of a romantic relationship there are many emotions and feelings at play. The implications of imagining the other person in one way or another have serious consequences on what we experience, and consequently the human brain directs this process of creating the concept of the other so that, in part, it adjusts to what is best for us. .
However, this biased view of the other is also maintained, in part, because for a relationship to enjoy good health and not be dysfunctional, it is totally necessary to achieve that the other person gets to know our true Self to give you the opportunity to accept it.
Why it matters that your partner knows your authentic “I”
Achieving a good degree of rapport with your partner goes far beyond appearances, the fact that everyone sees that “there is chemistry” between you. In reality, letting the couple know who we really are is something that is not only good; It is necessary for the relationship to have solid foundations. Below you can find the reasons for this.
People are not just their bodies, their words and their actions. Behind each of them there are intentions, concerns, life priorities and their own way of perceiving reality. It is therefore about a layer of identity that is deeper than what we see and hear about the other person Coming to a clear understanding of what this Self consists of requires effort, but it is a totally necessary sacrifice.
Creating an emotional bond like that of a romantic relationship means that the person our partner has fallen in love with really exists beyond their imagination.
2. Anticipate the needs of others
A good part of what it means to live together consists of making each other’s lives easier, minimizing situations of fatigue. Although we can idealize relationships, they will be dysfunctional if their members do not complement each other in everyday life. If you don’t really understand the other person, many of your attempts to help them will be wrong.
3. Really support others
That they understand your true “I” implies that the other person really understand what life projects matter to you really. In this way, it can support you in making decisions that would seem unreasonable to anyone else but that actually respond to the internal logic of what you want for your life.
4. Obtaining validation
Human beings do not like to feel that we are isolated and that we exist in a vacuum. If the partner understands us, they know how to validate us authentically and effectively; instead of constantly giving compliments (which would make them lose their value), expressions of admiration and affection are offered in a more appropriate way, where they fit, instead of flooding everything with them.
When our identity really connects with the other, we become part of something that is beyond ourselves. This is an important source of purpose in life that nourishes the good health of the couple Of course, at no time do we stop being people with our own concerns and sensitivities, but a part of us is projected beyond individuality.
6. You understand yourself better
From the experience of another with our true self, we learn about ourselves; We cannot remain aloof because of how someone reacts to the idea that we exist, that we are there and we are real beyond all conventions and appearances. In turn, this information serves to perform more in the Emotional Intelligence necessary to manage the relationship and its potential conflicts that can cause it to falter.
You give rejection a chance
The simple act of letting the other truly know us exposes us to the possibility of rejection. This, in itself, is a sign of commitment, maturity and responsibility. The relationship that emerges from that context will be authentic, as long as this dynamic is symmetric: the other person must also discover themselves as they are, give us an opportunity to decide what they really are.
