Why Setting Boundaries In Relationships Is Healthy
Set limits in personal relationships It means letting other people know that you have desires and needs that are different from theirs. But, also by doing so, we respect each other.
And, although setting limits may seem like an unnecessary imposition if we have a certain conception of what fluid personal relationships are, the truth is that this type of strategies based on assertiveness, in practice, allows us to be more free.
There may be many different reasons that contribute to the difficulty of setting limits:
1. A biased view of who wants what
Poor differentiation between self and others which means that it is not known with certainty where one’s own needs and those of the other begin.
2. Fear of conflict
The person avoids entering into conflict at all times because they feel unable to defend their opinions. Due avoids expressing one’s own opinion and disagreement with the other
3. Emotional blockage in the face of the other person’s anger or rage
For this reason, on many occasions, the person is complacent (much to his regret) with the needs of others.
4. Fear of being rejected by the other person
It consists of the fear of emotional, social, family, and work rejection. Fear of losing the affection and love of the other person, and fear of being criticized, may also appear.
5. Lack of assertiveness
Learning to say no can be complicated. He not knowing how to communicate our limits It can cause us to avoid talking about them, thus reinforcing and maintaining the situation of being unable to expose them.
6. Low self-esteem
Feeling without the right to defend one’s own needs inhibits their presentation. The person, feeling without this recognition, may consider that their needs are not as important as those of others, “Mine can wait.”
7. Difficulty managing frustration and anger
Feeling without emotional tools to manage these emotions, the person may choose to “swallow them”, thus causing the event that caused them (in this case the need to set a limit) to not be managed, choosing to prioritize the demands of the other..
8. Experience feelings of guilt
This can be common when we try to defend our desires. The person can experience guilt in asserting your needs
9. Difficulty in decision making
Deciding requires accepting and rejecting.
Why does setting limits make us feel better?
Self-esteem benefits, social skills and assertiveness management increase, and the feeling of internal security is improved. All of this is reflected in interpersonal relationships. The people around you will know where your limits begin and end this will bring favorable consequences for you and your relationships:
1. People around you will be able to get to know you better
Paradoxically, always giving in to the expectations of others distances us from the people we are with.
2. Create equal relationships
You give them the opportunity, and you too, to relate to them as equals, without the need to subordinate yourself to their commands.
3. Encourage honest communication
They will be able to take into account your needs and desires, which will avoid misunderstandings and will foster a sincere relationship based on mutual respect.
4. Prevents stress crises and frustration
You will not feel the obligation to put the needs of others before your own. This will prevent you from experiencing feelings of stress, frustration, anxiety and overwhelm in personal, family, social, and work relationships.
5. Extend the life of your relationships
All of the above will improve the flow of communication within your relationships, increasing their quality and satisfaction.
6. You add coherence to your actions
Another benefit of knowing and exposing your own limits is that you will create a consistent internal discourse, in addition to feeling coherence between your thoughts, emotions and actions, thus increasing the feeling of control over your life.
The key is assertiveness
Knowing how to set limits for others and communicate them appropriately allows you to create and strengthen feelings related to autonomy, personal value, sociability, spontaneousness, creativity and personal well-being. Makes it possible to identify and adequately define needs of each moment, making the person feel like they are the protagonist of their choices, thus generating the tranquility of feeling responsible and confident on the stage of life.
