Why You Have To Stop Always Seeking The Approval Of Others
Human nature drives us to satisfy the desire to belong to a social group. Whether it is our family, the group of friends, at work, we tend to do things to feel that we belong to a group and thus feel safe
Having this need is normal. That we take certain attitudes or customs to strengthen ties is fine. But sometimes this attitude becomes extreme and we begin to feel that we continually need the approval of others to do things, or make decisions or be this or that way. This extreme need is unhealthy and nullifies us as individuals.
Let’s review some reasons for why it is not good to always seek the approval of others
Why it is not good to always seek the approval of others
These are some reasons why it is harmful to always be aware of what others think of us.
1. It makes us anxious
When we constantly feel judged and this affects us, we then seek the approval of others to eliminate that negative judgment; However, even if we obtain approval, we do not leave aside the perception that others are criticizing us and we constantly return to seek approval.
This vicious cycle generates anxiety. We find ourselves in constant stress until we feel that we never satisfy others and far from stopping trying, we worry more about seeking social approval.
2. We lose freedom
Our decisions are no longer ours to become the decision of others about us. This is losing freedom, since we are not exercising our decision-making capacity, which is the result of the internal voice that tells us what it wants to do and where to go, to give way to the external voice that tells us where to go.
If we are guided solely by the opinion of others about our lives, we will be allowing all the limiting barriers of society to be imposed on us, and we will stop acting freely.
3. We feel exhausted
Living with the constant tension of doing things according to the wishes of others is very exhausting.
Mentally It is very tiring to be thinking about what others are going to think if we act in such a way, and very devastating when what we do is not approved by others and that affects us greatly. This ends up manifesting physically and we begin to feel exhaustion, which translates into weight on our back and lack of energy to do everyday things.
4. Decreases self-confidence
When we make decisions and they turn out to be favorable, we gain confidence in ourselves. If these decisions do not turn out as we expected, this security is diminished, but Assuming the consequences of a bad decision allows us to regain confidence and try again
This helps us acquire self-confidence and self-sufficiency, allowing us to go through life with greater security. Needing the constant approval of others makes us feel that we could not do anything without the affirmation of others, and that our achievements are not the result of our effort or good actions; but from outside.
5. We forget our needs
To make a decision we must consider, among other things, our desires and needs. But if we are seeking the approval of others, We forget that and give way to the tastes and desires of others
This causes us to face a decision that we have to make, rather than thinking about what could work well for us, we give others the power of decision and at this point we will have forgotten what our needs were.
6. We stop understanding that there are different ways of seeing life
We become what we don’t like, and we stop understanding that there is a difference of opinions and we feel that others; Those who make decisions outside of what the group dictates are wrong and we distrust them and judge them.
Thinking that we should decide based on the approval of others results in lose sight of the breadth of views and opinions that exist about a fact or about life itself.
7. We feel like the center of the universe
When we seek the approval of others it is because we feel that our life decisions are in everyone’s eyes and will be judged and approved or disapproved. This is because we believe that everyone is watching over us and checking every step.
Feeling this way generates so much anxiety that we prefer to continually ask the opinion of others rather than go back to feeling like everyone around us judges our decisions.
8. We lose authenticity
Showing ourselves to others as we are becomes impossible. We hide our opinions and feelings. We even dress in a different way than we would like, or we say that we adapt because in reality We are in the constant need to have the approval of others With this attitude, we stop being authentic. We get lost in the sea of ​​other people’s opinions and we no longer know who we really are.
Stopping being ourselves is undoubtedly one of the most powerful reasons why we should not constantly seek the approval of others.
How to stop thinking about the opinions of others?
To know how to put into practice the habit of not giving other people’s opinions more importance than they have, you can read this article: “Tips to stop thinking about what others think of you”
