5 Signs Of Passive Aggressive Behavior: How To Respond To This Attitude?
Do you feel that there are people who don’t say what they think? Do you think they attack you in a subtle way? You may be dealing with a passive aggressive person. Discover what this psychological profile is like.
When someone tries to exercise passive violence towards others it may be that it is passive aggressive. This type of behavior usually refers to a psychological disorder that ends up causing discomfort both in the person and in others.
This way of acting has different causes: lack of self-esteem, inability to create healthy relationships, poor social skills, among others. This passive-aggressive attitude occurs in both men and women. Furthermore, the passive aggressive behavior It is difficult to recognize and implies a feeling of pain for the person who suffers it.
At first glance it may seem that a passive aggressive He doesn’t get angry but that’s not true. Yes, he does, but he does not express it: he uses silence to ignore the person and delay time. What is behind this attitude? The fear of putting on the table what his needs are or the impossibility of saying “no.” Thus, if someone exposes the conflict to him, he will simply avoid it.
When talking about a passive aggressive behavior It refers to those people who express negative feelings indirectly instead of talking about their emotions or thoughts. A passive-aggressive person behaves this way because they are mainly unable to express what they have inside. So much so that most of them end up exercising passive aggressive behavior because they do not know how to communicate emotionally with others.
This term was coined during World War II. According to psychological research, many soldiers did not follow the orders of their officers since they could not express their arguments against them. In this way, they adopted a passive aggressive personality trying not to completely comply with each of the instructions of their commanders.
A person who has a passive-aggressive personality On many occasions he shows a feeling or attitude that does not define him. So much so that she feels angry, resentful or frustrated, but she appears cheerful and acts in a completely false way. Despite showing passive aggressive behavior, it cannot be said that a passive aggressive disorder exists. On the other hand, this type of passive aggressive behavior can show a mental health problem.
What are passive aggressive people like?
In many cases it is difficult to detect a passive aggressive personality This is because they know how to hide their emotions, although they often compensate with personal attacks. In this way, psychologists have detected that there are a series of behaviors that indicate passive aggressiveness.
Does not follow the instructions of others: People with a personality passive aggressive They don’t like others trying to boss them around or teach them how to do things. So much so that on many occasions they feel that others are doing it just to make them feel bad or inferior.
Sabotage the goals of others: In certain cases a passive aggressive person tries to sabotage the successes of others. So much so that you may delay a task or make intentional mistakes just so the other person doesn’t meet their goals.
Sarcastic or argumentative attitude: Sarcasm is one of the characteristics of a passive aggressive behavior So much so that this passive style is probably always present in the responses and arguments of people with a passive aggressive attitude.
They feel underestimated: These psychological profiles feel that those around them are constantly judging and underestimating them. It may sometimes happen that people are in an environment where others criticize them, but the reality is that most of the time this is just a feeling. This is because a passive aggressive many times you will suffer from low self-esteem.
They criticize others: When a person criticizes his environment or others a lot, it is very likely that he is going through a bad situation. So much so that in the passive aggressive behavior We often encounter these types of offensive comments about others.
If you think you may be part of the passive aggressive people, it is essential to see what is behind this attitude. On many occasions this passive aggressive personality demonstrates a psychological disorder. In these cases it is better to consult with a mental health specialist.
Causes of passive aggressive behavior
Research has shown that people who exhibit this type of passive aggressive attitude They have done it since childhood. So much so that in many cases the parenting style of the parents is what creates passive aggressive behavior in children. According to psychologists, this type of behavior can be preceded by the following causes:
Parenting style: Family dynamics and other influences in childhood can contribute to the development of a passive aggressive personality In this way, children who have received severe punishments or negligent behavior from their parents are very likely to have a character of this style.
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD): When you suffer from ADHD it is more difficult to express feelings and emotions. So much so that a good way to avoid facing them is by exercising a passive aggressive behavior
Stress: A person who suffers from excessive levels of stress can develop a passive aggressive attitude This can not only affect your mental health but also the people around you.
Anxiety and depression: There are many cases in which the passive aggressive personality It arises as a reflection of suffering from anxiety and depression. So much so that the majority of people who suffer from it end up adopting this passive aggressive style as if it were part of their identity.
Other psychological disorders: This type of passive aggressive behavior It can show other psychological disorders such as bipolarity or schizophrenia. Although it is one of the least identifiable features of these diseases, it is also very common to develop it.
Substance abuse: When someone is hooked on a substance it is very possible that develop a passive aggressive attitude because of the so-called ‘monkey’. In these cases it is crucial to try to stop drug addiction.
All these causes denote that on many occasions a passive aggressive It is accompanied by a psychological problem. For this reason, it is crucial to consult with a psychologist when this type of behavior is detected.
How do I act when faced with passive aggressiveness?
He passive aggressive acts like the manger’s dog. He neither eats nor lets eat. He wants to feel cared for and to be followed, but he can’t stand being given orders and wants autonomy and freedom. As has been mentioned, it is difficult for him to express his desires, so when he does not feel loved he uses non-confrontational strategies: stop talking, disappear, turn off the cell phone, do not answer, do not pay attention to the other…
When confronted by someone, the passive aggressive person will seek to get their way in the argument, denying even the clearest evidence. That is a clearly victimist attitude. He does not recognize what happens to him to others but because he does not even recognize it to himself. The lack of self-criticism and flexibility rules and reaffirms his attitude: “it is the rest of the world that is wrong, not me.” The result is that, even if he has not spoken to the couple for two days, he will only be aware of his own pain, never of the pain he causes. If you have identified a passive aggressive person in your environment, you can combat it with the following strategies:
Recognize when this situation occurs and let it pass: There is no point in trying to make him understand that he is wrong: you will only be reaffirming his position. If you don’t insist, he will end up backing off and asking for help, if he needs it. He won’t feel so judged if you give him time.
Distance yourself: It is very logical that you experience the situation as a personal attack but it is not. You’re not even the problem. Practice compassion.
When time has passed, give reasons for his attitude: Just because you are compassionate doesn’t mean you have to let anything happen. Explain how it makes you feel and avoid personal accusations.
Ask him about his emotions: An ideal way to try to make a passive aggressive Learn to describe your emotions in the worst moments, it is by training him to do it when he is at his best. In this way, it may be a good idea to always ask them how they feel and what emotions they are sensing.
Avoid making assumptions: When someone has a passive-aggressive behavior It is normal for the people around them to try to understand what is happening to them in order to confront these types of attitudes. In reality, when faced with a passive aggressive personality, it is better not to assume anything, since the person may feel attacked instead of understood.
Remind them that it’s okay to share feelings: Somes passive aggressive people They may not feel safe when they have to say their opinions. If this is the case, it can be very productive to try to remind them that it is okay to disagree and talking things through can be more productive. For example, when faced with passive-aggressive behavior you can say, “I know you said my idea was good, but I’d love to hear any thoughts you have.”
Explore solutions together: In order to cope with the passive aggressive attitude You can try to ask to offer a joint solution. Questions like What do you think? Do you think there is an alternative? They can help you.
How do I know if I am a passive aggressive person?
On many occasions you could recognize the bad attitude of others. But accepting that sometimes we are the ones who act wrong is more difficult. If you think you may be having a passive aggressive behavior You can ask yourself the following questions:
Do you often find yourself Bad mood When you are not happy with another person?
Do you avoid the people you are with? annoying?
Ever you stop talking with people when you are angry with them?
Do you stop doing things as a way of punish others?
Do you sometimes use sarcasm to avoid engaging in meaningful conversations?
If you answered yes to most of them, perhaps you are a passive aggressive person Therefore, it is essential to go to a professional psychologist to treat this problem.
Passive-aggressive behavior: Examples
someone with a passive aggressive personality can have different types of behaviors. For example, a person who engages in passive aggressive behavior may do the following:
Repeatedly making excuses to avoid certain people as a way to express your displeasure or anger toward these people.
Repeatedly admitting that you are not angry even though you are.
Denying what they feel or refusing to open up emotionally, avoiding communication and discussion about a topic.
Deliberately procrastinate to avoid confronting a topic with another person.
Punishing a person by trying to perform behaviors that harm them.
Are they passive abusers?
There are many times when passive aggressive people use this type of behavior without realizing the damage they do. In this case, the person must work on their emotions and try to be more open to communication. On the other hand, when this attitude is done knowing the emotional exhaustion it causes in others, it could be said that you would be dealing with emotional abuse and a person who may present a profile of passive abuser
How to stop being a passive aggressive person?
If you believe that this attitude in you is damaging both your professional and personal development, it is vital to try to change this way of acting with others. According to psychologists, you can follow the following instructions:
Improve your self-awareness: Knowing yourself is vital to knowing how to communicate with others. So much so that passive aggressive people tend to develop this personality due to their lack of communication with others. To do this, it is vital to be in the present and pay attention to everything on your mind.
Don’t be too critical or demanding: When you start to change your attitude, don’t get frustrated because you don’t get it the first time. Changing a habit and especially a personality trait such as passive aggressive behavior can be much more difficult than it seems at first glance.
Practice your expression: The fundamental problem of a passive aggressive person is not knowing how to explain themselves. Therefore, it is ideal to learn to express emotions and feelings appropriately. So much so that you should take advantage of any opportunity you have to say what you feel.
Meditate and lead a healthy life: Playing sports, establishing good eating habits and meditating can be the perfect recipe to leave behind a passive aggressive personality. A healthy lifestyle is vital to avoid suffering the effects of stress and anxiety.
The passive aggressive people show through their attitude a lack in their personality. For this reason, it is essential to point out their failures and help them enjoy good mental health.
