Having someone play with our feelings as if it were something fun or a way to pass the time makes us feel smaller, fragile and vulnerable. Experiencing intense emotions such as disappointment, sadness or anger towards those who play with us can be overwhelming. The pain of feeling like we have been deceived, manipulated, or emotionally used leaves deep scars on our hearts and minds.
Emotional gambling can manifest itself in many ways: from empty promises to inconsistent behavior or even the other person’s denial of one’s feelings. Whatever form it takes, the experience of being emotionally manipulated can erode our trust in ourselves and others. It makes us question our worth and leads us to wonder if we are good enough to deserve honest and respectful treatment.
Emotional manipulation can leave you feeling confused, drained, and doubting your self-worth. When someone plays with your feelings, it’s often done subtly—through mixed signals, broken promises, or guilt-tripping—making it hard to detect until you’re already emotionally invested. Whether in a romantic relationship, friendship, or family dynamic, learning how to protect your emotional boundaries is essential.
Here are 6 practical tips to help ensure no one plays with your feelings, while also empowering you to build healthier emotional relationships.
Preserving self-esteem is essential when it comes to protecting ourselves from having our feelings played with. Our self-esteem influences how we value ourselves and how we allow others to treat us. When our self-esteem is strong, we are less likely to tolerate disrespectful or harmful behavior from other people.
When a person plays with our feelings, it can undermine our self-esteem in several ways. It makes us question our worth and makes us feel like we don’t deserve loving and respectful treatment. This can lead us to tolerate situations that do not benefit us emotionally, simply because we do not believe we deserve better.
Protecting our self-esteem in this sense involves recognizing our own value and establishing healthy boundaries in our relationships. It means having the confidence and security to say no to behaviors that harm us, and seeking relationships that nourish us emotionally instead of draining us. When we cultivate strong self-esteem, we are better able to recognize when someone is playing with our feelings and take the necessary steps to protect ourselves.
6 tips so they don’t play with your feelings
We will offer a series of tips that can be useful to detect when someone is trying to play with your feelings and prevent these actions from taking place or, if they have already started, have enough control to make them disappear and manage its negative impact.
1. Set Clear Emotional Boundaries
One of the first and most effective ways to stop people from playing with your emotions is to establish and maintain strong emotional boundaries. Boundaries are guidelines that protect your mental and emotional space.
How to do it:
Be clear about what you will and won’t tolerate.
Communicate your needs and limits assertively.
Don’t feel guilty for saying “no” when something doesn’t feel right.
Why it matters: Without boundaries, you become more vulnerable to emotional manipulation and control.
2. Don’t Ignore Red Flags
Often, people who manipulate emotions show signs early on, but we tend to overlook them because of affection, hope, or denial. Recognizing these signs can protect you from deeper emotional harm.
Common red flags:
Constantly changing behavior or attitudes
Making you feel guilty for their mistakes
Love bombing, followed by withdrawal
Gaslighting or denying your reality
Trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is.
3. Stop Making Excuses for Others
It’s common to rationalize someone’s toxic behavior—especially if you care deeply about them. But making excuses only prolongs the cycle of manipulation.
Examples of excuses to avoid:
“They’re just stressed right now.”
“They didn’t mean to hurt me.”
“It’s my fault they acted that way.”
Accept their behavior for what it is, not what you wish it were.
4. Prioritize Your Emotional Needs
When you consistently place someone else’s emotional needs above your own, you create an imbalance that manipulators exploit. Your emotions are valid and deserve attention.
Start by:
Asking yourself, “What do I need emotionally right now?”
Giving yourself permission to walk away from harmful interactions
Practicing self-care and emotional regulation
A balanced relationship is one where both people’s emotions matter.
5. Don’t Rely on Others for Validation
When someone knows that you depend on their approval to feel good about yourself, they can easily manipulate your feelings. Developing self-validation reduces emotional dependency.
Ways to build internal validation:
Affirm your self-worth daily
Keep a journal of your feelings and achievements
Surround yourself with people who genuinely support you
The more secure you are in yourself, the harder it is for others to control your emotions.
6. Hold People Accountable
If someone’s behavior hurts you, don’t brush it off. Instead, calmly address it and hold them responsible for how they treat you. Manipulators often count on your silence.
How to respond:
“When you say/do that, it makes me feel disrespected.”
“I need honesty and consistency in this relationship.”
“I’m not okay with being treated like this.”
You teach people how to treat you by what you tolerate.
Protecting your feelings is essential for your emotional well-being. Knowing your limits, observing actions, taking your time, listening to your intuition, communicating your expectations, and prioritizing your well-being are crucial steps. Maintain strong self-esteem and trust your intuition. Don’t hesitate to walk away from situations that hurt you, always prioritizing your emotional health.
FAQs about 6 Tips so They Don’t Play with Your Feelings
How do I know if someone is playing with my emotions?
They might:
Give you mixed signals
Disappear and reappear when convenient
Use guilt to control you
Promise things they don’t deliver on
If you feel emotionally drained, anxious, or unsure about where you stand, they may be manipulating your feelings.
Can emotionally strong people still be manipulated?
Yes. Everyone can be vulnerable at times, especially when emotionally invested. But emotionally strong people tend to recover faster, spot manipulation sooner, and take action to protect themselves.
What’s the difference between emotional manipulation and normal conflict?
Normal conflict involves mutual respect and a willingness to resolve issues. Manipulation involves power imbalances, guilt, and often a pattern of making you feel “less than” or responsible for everything.
Should I confront someone who plays with my feelings?
If it feels safe, yes. Use clear and assertive communication to express how their behavior affects you. If they dismiss or continue to hurt you, it’s a strong signal to create distance or walk away.
Is walking away from an emotionally manipulative person a sign of weakness?
No, it’s a sign of strength. Setting boundaries and protecting your mental health is one of the most empowering things you can do. You’re not giving up—you’re choosing yourself.
How can I heal after someone played with my feelings?
Spend time understanding what happened
Talk to a therapist or trusted friend
Rebuild your self-worth through self-care
Set new boundaries moving forward
Healing is a process, but recognizing the issue is the first and most powerful step.
