The ability to be understanding is one of the psychological faculties that has made us capable of living in society. And for the same reason that each person has their own personality, it is necessary to put some effort into adapting to the points of view of others in order to connect with them.
In this article we will see several key ideas about how to be understanding and how they can be applied in our daily lives.
From the moment human beings live in society, it is necessary for each individual to adapt to the needs and characteristics of those with whom he or she lives. This process always involves a certain level of sacrifice, but we can ensure that this effort is not in vain and serves to better relate to others not only in theory, but also in practice.
1. Think about each other’s priorities
To be more understanding it is necessary take into account the scale of values and needs that move the person we are talking to. Regardless of whether we agree with this way of establishing priorities, it is necessary to understand their point of view in order to take the first steps of dialogue and consensus.
If everyone thought like us, communication would be incredibly fluid and fast… although also boring and unstimulating. Therefore, being understanding implies having the patience necessary to leave room for the rapprochement of positions, for mutual understanding which by definition cannot occur in a matter of fractions of a second, but rather involves an entire process.
3. Practice active listening
The moment of listening is very important, and not only because it allows us to start thinking like our interlocutors, but because it is also a way to promote dialogue and collaboration. Therefore, we must enhance it by involving ourselves in active listening, which has to do with all the verbal and non-verbal elements that indicate that we are listening Make brief comments, look people in the eye, nod… small details that make a difference.
4. Don’t ridicule
There are those who take advantage of any situation in which there is a disagreement with their interlocutor to try to ridicule them. This may be an apparent relief for the person doing it (at the expense of the other), but it serves no purpose other than that, and instead has many negative effects. Among them, the fact of making mutual understanding much more difficult.
5. Show interest in their emotions
Many times, we do not truly understand others until we know their feelings and, in general, that irrational part of you that leads you to act But this is something that not everyone is willing to share with others at the first opportunity. Therefore, you must show that your point of view is respected and that you can speak freely without fear of being judged.
Sometimes what keeps us separated from another person is the fact that they feel guilty and, therefore, believes that it can only continue through confrontation given that he has done things in the past that would be considered clearly bad if that confrontation did not exist.
Therefore, it is important to give opportunities to redeem oneself in a subtle way, without making it obvious that it is a kind of “ritual.”
For example, partly assuming that something has been done that has harmed the other, even if that is not true, so that that person feels good by making the apparent sacrifice of forgiving us. That way You may feel that your faults have been atoned for But a balance must be achieved so that a precedent is not set in which any grievance can be resolved in an excessively easy way.
7. Think about the consequences of what you do
Whenever you do something that affects another person, think beyond what that change means to you. You have to put yourself in the other’s shoes and see, for example, if that makes your situation worse something that is possible if until that moment we had not stopped to consider what it means to actively or passively participate in what we have modified.
8. Consider the influence of context
Naturally, human beings tend to believe that a person is what they choose to be, without further ado. The phenomenon described by the just world theory, for example, is an example of this. However, this is false, since the environment influences us greatly.
Therefore, to be more understanding we must take into account that the individual is the product of his decisions but also of the circumstances in which he has had to live.
