What To Do About Friends Who Ignore You, In 5 Steps
Friendship often has diffuse boundaries. Some friends need to see each other almost every day to feel good, and others can manage to see each other once a year.
Precisely for this reason, sometimes there are situations of ambiguity or in which a slight conflict festers and results in the refusal to speak to resolve it. This is what happens when one friend ignores another, or when both ignore each other. Faced with these types of experiences, it is difficult to know what to do and how to redirect the situation, or even to know if it is worth investing efforts to redirect it.
When situations of lack of communication appear of this type, there is no need to stay with our arms crossed; The more time passes, the more the problem can worsen, and although it is true that it can be solved by factors external to us, it is better not to tempt fate.
So, follow these tips and adapt them to your case to maximize the chances of clearing up the matter and bringing about reconciliation.
1. Objectively analyze the situation
First of all, stop and think if you really have reason to worry Sometimes, the fear of loneliness or rejection can cause us to see mirages, false situations of “danger” and isolation. For example, try to estimate in hours per week or minutes per day how often you interact with that person, and whether it is much less than what used to be the case months ago.
The uncertainty and discomfort that arises when a friend ignores us can make us feel quite bad. On the one hand, there is the doubt of If that abrupt stop in the communicative flow between two people is due to something that has happened (for example, the other person has felt offended by something) or by something that has stopped happening (for example, the end of classes, the university being the only space that was shared). It could also be due to a combination of the above, of course.
Therefore, to solve this problem, the first thing is to investigate the possible causes that have triggered it, even if at first we have little information. To do this, you have to do a little initial research, which will consist of rejecting or confirming any suspicion you have about what is happening, and then asking the other person directly about what is happening to them, choosing an appropriate time and place. and that allow you to speak frankly and privately.
3. Analyze what happens
In this phase, we must reflect on what is known about the case and see if we have had any responsibility in it. Have we done anything that gives reason to interrupt the deal? Does the other person feel bad about something bad we have done? We must not forget that, in case this is due to bad action on our part, These withdrawals of words are something that helps us reflect on the implications of what we do its effects on other people.
However, you have to be careful not to blame yourself. At the end of the day, it’s not always our responsibility when others feel bad about something we do.
4. Decide if the friendship makes sense
When a friend stops talking to us, that gives us information about what they expect from that relationship and why they relate to us. So, we have to stop and see with perspective whether he really has reasons to stop talking to us or not, taking into account that by doing so he risks losing that friendship.
If you consider that this is a very extreme measure and that there are no valid reasons to do it, it is perfectly legitimate that you reconsider whether it is worth it to continue worrying about that person for which it seems that you exist rather little.
In case you conclude that it is not, or even that it is simply a strategy to make you feel guilty and that you go after him, generating a bond of dependency, you may have to go through a phase of sadness and mourning, but in order to accounts you will surely overcome it.
5. Stop to talk
If until now your role was that of a person who collects information, now is the time to create, to propose. Meet your friend and let him or her express himself Then, express yourself. Negotiating a solution is important so that you both feel comfortable in that friendship relationship.
If the other person doesn’t even want to do that, consider to what extent you want to continue insisting to fix things and, once you have done this, inform the other person of the moment in which you will stop trying to talk about it and assume that the friendship has definitely ended. Although it is hard, it is necessary to be clear when a tie has been cut so as not to think about it obsessively, entailing hopes that only lead to frustration.
