Many of the problems that human beings have have to do with failures in our way of communicating. That is why it is important to know how to mediate a conflict ; Something so simple can be applied in many situations in which the opposing people have more interests in common than they believe.
In this article we will see some fundamental tips to mediate conflicts, disputes and clashes that may arise at work, in the family environment, on the street, etc.
Follow these guidelines to face the challenge of mediating a conflict in the best possible way. Keep in mind that each case is unique, and a good part of the success you will have will depend on your ability to adapt your strategy to the specific context in which you will be intervening.
1. The basics to get started
It is important that from the first moment you follow these fundamental guidelines that you can apply throughout this mediation process.
Take into account what they know about you
Do the people you apply mediation to know you? What do they know about you and your opinions or beliefs?
If the answer to the first question is “no,” then you must introduce yourself and make your intentions clear which are none other than helping the parties involved reach a solution to the conflict that harms both as little as possible or even benefits them.
Regarding the second question, if they already know you, you should analyze whether any of the parties involved in the dispute may suspect that due to your opinions or sympathies you are on the side of the party perceived as the enemy. In some cases, even It can be negative if someone initially believes that you are going to be on their side , since soon after you will feel frustrated when you realize that not necessarily. Therefore, you must prove that you take the role of mediation seriously, showing that you can understand (although not necessarily share) each party’s point of view.
Be clear about your objectives and recognize the conflict
When mediating, it is very important to be clear that you have to try Do not have an avoidant attitude when faced with these types of problems Although you do not argue or attack, judge or criticize others, you must use assertiveness to show that you are someone in the same hierarchical position as the rest. You must communicate through your speech and through your non-verbal language that you know there is a conflict and that you know that the people you deal with also know it.
That means you don’t have to pretend that nothing is happening, nor adopt a condescending or overly optimistic attitude as if the dispute were not real.
Expresses a serious but conciliatory attitude
In general, your tone has to be serious, although not cutting, and your non-verbal language has to be open and rather relaxed, so that this attitude is contagious at least a little. Also, if you see that people who have a conflict they share some of their nonverbal language that does not have hostile implications , it is good that you imitate him subtly; for example, leaning forward in your chair, instead of leaning fully on the backrest.
Many times it is important, first of all, to help those arguing calm down. To do this, make it clear that that moment is dedicated precisely for that, to be silent, free from the duty of explaining what is happening, until there comes a point at which you regain composure. enough to engage in constructive dialogue
This, in addition to having a physiological effect on the state of people (among other things causing their heart rate to drop a little and making them not so aggressive), has the psychological power to represent the end of unbridled anger and the beginning of adjustment. .
3. Let them express themselves
After you have introduced yourself, if necessary, it is time for each party to say what is happening.
Your work must be fully supported by what the people arguing express, nothing you are going to say has to be seen as an imposition placed at the center of the debate in an unjustified manner. Therefore, it is important to let them express themselves, in turns, and asking them to explain what they want and what bothers them. This has to be done after everyone agrees out loud on two rules: Don’t interrupt and don’t be disrespectful
4. Rephrase what you hear, constructively
After listening to each side, you should explain in your own words what you think each side’s point of view is, but stripping this content of those elements that generate confrontation such as accusations and criticism of the other.
In this way, each one will listen to the other’s point of view but in more neutral and potentially reasonable terms.
5. Find a halfway solution
It doesn’t have to be that both parties get a part of what they wanted from the beginning; It can be a totally different thing. The fundamental thing is that none of the people involved feel humiliated or clearly losing. Make proposals, and try not to put on the table a solution that is exactly what one of the parties proposes.
