What Is Self-love, Its Importance And How To Build It

Define the meaning of self love It is not a simple task. If we turn to classic and current literature on the subject we can find multiple conceptualizations and digressions on the matter. Voltaire, Nietzsche, Pascal, Rousseau, Espinosa, etc. are some of the many authors who have theorized in different ways on the topic of self-love.

In many of these explanations, two forms of self-love are usually differentiated, a positive one that would refer to self-esteem as something natural and intrinsic to human beings related to their instinct for self-regulation and conservation, and another negative one, which would have to do with pride, selfishness and vanity. In this article we will refer to the characteristics of the positive aspect, the advantages it presents on human health and the need to preserve it or work to incorporate/recover it to heal psychological and emotional wounds.

Self-love would correspond to the concept of love for oneself used from more philosophical approaches. From psychology, self-love has been scientifically conceptualized like self-esteem. It refers to the valuation or esteem that a person has of himself.

In the words of Enrique Rojas, self-love or self-esteem would be “positive judgment about oneself having achieved a coherent personal framework based on the four basic elements of the human being: physical, psychological, social and cultural”.

Branden, N., author of the book “The six pillars of self esteem” considers that, although the main basis of self-esteem is created during childhood and adolescence, experiences and personal work during subsequent years can reinforce or modify our vision of ourselves.

For the author “the Self-esteem (high or low) tends to generate self-fulfilling prophecies.” That is, the perception we have of ourselves is determined by personal experiences; these, in turn, They condition our thoughts that will lead us to perform one or other actions ; The result of these actions will reinforce (or create, if they are incongruent) our personal beliefs that, again, will condition our thoughts, actions, etc. and so on.

Here lies precisely the importance of the level of self-love achieved:

• Low (negative) levels of self-esteem They will lead us to have thoughts of personal undervaluation; These will generate harmful behaviors towards ourselves (self-boycott or inhibition of behaviors) that will confirm the initial beliefs of low self-esteem, the self-fulfilling prophecy, as the author states.
• Of way contrary, a high level of self-esteem will reinforce our mental schemes and our will towards positive action, the result of which will confirm the respectful assessment of ourselves.

According to Psychiatrist Enrique Rojas, there are 9 keys that determine a good level of self-love or self-esteem:

1. personal judgment: it must contain the aspects achieved and those to be achieved and the result of the assessment must be positive.
2. Self acceptance: the person accepts himself with his virtues and his defects.
3. The physical aspect: body morphology and physiological characteristics are accepted and integrated.
4. The psychological heritage: the positive acceptance of one’s own personality (thoughts, intelligence, conscience, verbal and non-verbal language, will, vital interpretation, etc.).
5. Socio-cultural environment: refers to the social environment in which one’s interpersonal relationship resources are developed. Healthy relationships are indicative of a positive level of self-esteem or self-love.
6. The job: It is important that the work aspect is a source of personal satisfaction that allows us to dedicate ourselves to it with commitment and, at the same time, provide positive feedback from that dedication. Do you know the General Job Satisfaction Scale?
7. Avoid envy and comparison: This action can lead to a loss in personal esteem and is based on superficial assessments that do not delve into truly important personal aspects. To counteract this, it is important to forge your own personal life project that supports our vital steps.
8. Develop empathy: It is a symptom of personal maturity that allows us to understand the facts far beyond a subjective assessment biased by personal perceptions. In the following article you can see how to practice empathy.
9. Altruism: It involves giving to others from a place of respect for oneself. Altruism is a sign of a high level of personal maturity.

Personal work in the positive achievement of each of these aspects will favor the consolidation of high self-esteem that will benefit our health, and therefore our life, at all levels. In the following article you will find more information on how to improve self-esteem.

This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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