In our daily lives, selfish behaviors can give rise to a large number of conflicts. Being able to put the needs of others before our own can be a very difficult habit to develop, especially if it does not come naturally to us. We must not forget that the process to overcome selfishness is slow and must be done step by step and in addition, a person can be selfish in some areas of their life and not be selfish in others.
In the same way, selfishness does not always have negative effects on our lives, there are situations in which it is appropriate and adaptive. In this PsychologyFor article we tell you how to overcome selfishness in our daily lives as well as some situations in which it may be appropriate to be selfish.
To know how to overcome selfishness in our daily lives we must try to identify how selfishness generates problems in our lives, in order to begin to eliminate self-centered actions and rebuild our daily lives.
Selfishness generates more conflicts
When we act selfishly we generate controversy or disagreements in various vital areas. Throughout our lives we have seen people who not only encounter conflict, but actively seek it out. They seem to enjoy moments of discussion and fights. Not only do they disagree about some things, but they seem to want to disagree. Generally it is not pleasant to be around these types of people. This is a subtle form of selfishness, through these conflicts the person becomes the center of attention they need and feels self-sufficient.
Being selfish kills your joy or fun
selfishness often limits the ability to enjoy things because he always finds something bad in everything. This can become a way of expressing selfishness as it is a way for a critical person to feel in control, it makes them feel above others in a position of self-proclaimed authority because they have identified an error in the other parties.
Selfishness gives rise to unrealistic expectations
Selfishness makes the selfish person expect too many things from others, and is more subtle when it comes to what oneself must give.
A person with too many expectations for himself never accepts a compliment, never feels like he has succeeded, even when he has clearly done something. They may seem humble because they are hard on themselves, but inside they consider themselves far superior to the rest.
This is another subtle form of selfishness because it ignores one’s own natural limitations and assumes that one should be able to do anything at any time. Although positive thinking is a good thing, the reality is that most of us are not able to do what we want to do, even if we try. We all have limitations and we must learn to accept them as part of our humanity.
In conclusion, a person who expects too much of herself who does not accept a compliment and feels that it is too good for certain people can lose many people around him and generate a lot of tension and damage.
Selfishness limits the ability to improve
Most of us have difficulty accepting criticism, but at the same time, we know that it is necessary to make some criticisms to improve.
In the case of selfishness there is a total rejection of any type of criticism, a true friend is considered to be one who focuses only on their positive aspects and ignores the negative ones. So when someone offers helpful criticism with the intention of helping you, it is interpreted as contempt and disrespect.
How to overcome selfishness in our daily lives
Some tips that you can keep in mind to overcome selfishness in your life are:
Be honest with yourself
First of all, to know how to stop being envious and selfish, you must admit that selfishness is interfering with your relationships. Next, you must identify the areas that are being negatively affected by selfish behaviors, this can help you begin to change them. However, identifying these self-focused behaviors will not be easy and can be very painful. Accepting a negative truth about yourself and trying to change it is something that ultimately provides motivation.
Replace selfish habits
Changing long-term habits is possible with careful and consistent planning, paying attention to the details of your behavior. Observe your interactions with other people and identify those areas where you are selfish. Try to find ways on how you can replace selfish behaviors. To stop being selfish, focus on how your relationships can be improved if you overcome selfishness in your daily life. Although it may be very hard at first, over time you will see the benefits.
Think of others first
Place the desires and needs of others first, this is one of the fundamental rules to overcome selfishness. Not being selfish means giving your time, energy, attention, or money to other people when necessary. It is common for us to try to justify ourselves for what we do, but we must remember that relationships are not perfect and that we must treat others the same way we would like others to treat us.
Do not give up
Deciding to change a deep-rooted pattern in relationships will require a lot of effort. Difficulties can make you doubt and think that it would be better to throw in the towel, but you should not get discouraged and try to remember why you want to overcome selfishness. A good way to overcome your selfishness is to try to overcome obstacles.
Types of positive egoism
Despite what was discussed above, there are times when it may be appropriate to be a little selfish. Next, we present positive selfishness:
When you are faced with a decision that is important to you
Sometimes the decisions we make involve other people, but other times big decisions such as moving to another city, ending a relationship… force you to think about yourself and less about others. It is important to take everything relevant into account when making important decisions, but in the end we must opt ​​for the best decision for ourselves.
When happiness is involved
Being happy is something we all strive for, especially if we haven’t had the life we ​​need or want for ourselves. Sometimes being happy means letting go of things that no longer work for you or are not good for you. Being happy requires a little selfishness on our part to get what each of us deserves.
When it comes to health
Health is ours and ours alone. Therefore, being selfish in this regard is essential. How we choose to care for ourselves is ours alone and no one else’s.
When you need to spend time alone
Spending time alone is a good reason to be selfish. We all need our time alone to do things we like, get to know each other, etc. So sometimes you have to be selfish to find time for yourself.
This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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