Why Do I Have To Go To A Psychologist If I’m Unfaithful?
It is often assumed that infidelity is a “mistake”; as if it were the result of a bad decision, something that occurs after an incorrect calculation of the advantages and disadvantages of breaking the commitment. But the truth is that both the causes and the consequences of being unfaithful go beyond the intellectual; It has to do with our way of experiencing emotions.
Therefore, in this article we will see what they are the benefits of going to psychotherapy after having generated a couple crisis due to infidelity.
When is infidelity a reason to go to psychotherapy?
Not in all cases it is necessary to attend psychotherapy after having committed infidelity; For example, if this occurs specifically within the framework of a toxic relationship in which trust has been broken on both sides for a long time, this type of behavior may simply be a way to put an end to it, and in these cases, if We do not feel psychological consequences, it is possible to turn the page directly. But in many other cases, it is advisable to have psychological support.
These are the main focuses of intervention of psychological therapy applied to people who have committed infidelity.
1. If you are looking to resolve the relationship crisis
Obviously, if the infidelity is known by both members of the couple and they have decided to give the relationship another chance, couples therapy is the ideal context in which to rebuild that bond.
With the help of a psychologist, it is possible to talk about this problem constructively, without falling into a loop of discussions that contribute nothing and are based on reproaches, and to repair the trust damaged by infidelity.
2. To address impulsivity problems
Sometimes, infidelity is explained mainly by a problem of excessive impulsiveness, difficulties in managing impulses thinking about the medium and long term (which includes commitments to third parties), with or without drug use involved. In both cases It is important to go to psychotherapy to learn emotion and stress management techniques.
On the other hand, if impulsivity is linked to antisocial character traits, it is even more important to undergo psychological treatment to learn to “connect” with society and the dynamics of collaboration and mutual trust.
3. As a way to enhance self-knowledge
Although culturally we tend to associate infidelity with concepts such as “debauchery”, the truth is that on many occasions it is nothing more than the reflection of a deep discomfort that has nothing to do with the desire to have a good time, but rather with the desire to escape from the emptiness that the person feels.
For this reason, psychotherapy provides ways to advance in a process of self-knowledge that helps to understand what has triggered the infidelity regardless of whether the relationship continues to exist or if it has ended in a breakup, given that the discomfort that is largely The cause of what happened is often prior to and relatively separate from that courtship or marriage.
Only in this way can the tendency to behave erratically in life due to this lack of direction be addressed, both in private life and in relationships, and provide a series of routines capable of keeping the person connected to that. that you really like and are interested in.
In the sense of the previous section, infidelity is not usually an experience that simply provides pleasure with sensory and short-term roots; often generates a great erosion of self-esteem, although it is common for the person who has been unfaithful not to realize that from the beginning. And although some may consider cheating on their partners, cheating on oneself is almost impossible, and the clash between the action of committing infidelity and the personal values associated with what is understood as love and life as a couple tend to be noticeable. .
For this reason, psychotherapy proposes a series of strategies and activities for regeneration of self-esteem, which includes both learning to interpret in constructive ways the past and present of those who go to the psychologist, as well as proposing interesting and exciting goals and one-way projects, capable of to serve to demonstrate to oneself to what extent one can be trustworthy and positive for others.
Do you want to have psychotherapeutic support?
If you are looking for psychology services in the field of couples therapy or psychotherapy focused on the individual patient, I invite you to contact me.
My name is Javier Ares and I am a psychologist specialized in mood, anxiety and relationship crisis problems; I serve adults and adolescents from the principles of the cognitive-behavioral model combined with relaxation and Mindfulness techniques. Sessions can be in person or online by video call.
