The triangular theory of love aims to explain the complex phenomenon of love and loving interpersonal relationships. It was proposed by psychologist Robert Sternberg, and describes the different elements that make up love, as well as the possible combinations of these elements when forming different types of relationships.
It is considered a useful theory, since helps us understand this very complex feeling which, in addition to being very important in our lives, is the basis of many of our interpersonal relationships.
Love and falling in love is a very interesting topic, as it is one of the most intense feelings we can experience. Love affects us in every way and when we meet that special person, it changes our lives completely. In fact, significantly changes the way we perceive reality and it causes us to make decisions in a different way than usual, to orient our relationships with others in a different way, and to reorganize our priorities about what matters in life.
When we fall in love, the intense emotions and passion that surround us affect our mind and body.
For this reason, psychologists, sociologists and doctors have tried to understand and explain it from different points of view (biological, cultural, etc.). In the last decades, Research in this field has been varied, seeking to understand falling in love, love, attraction or lack of love
One of the best-known theories of love is Sternberg’s triangular theory. Robert Sternberg is an American psychologist, professor at Yale University, widely recognized for his research. Not only has he been interested in love, but intelligence and creativity have also been objects of interest in his research carried out in the field of Cognitive Psychology and emotions. In particular, his contributions in the field of the study of intelligence are well known.
However, This character is known for his theory on love and interpersonal relationships and many experts on this topic have supported his ideas.
Understanding your theory
For Sternberg, love is made up of 3 qualities that manifest in any love relationship: intimacy, passion and commitment. These elements, in practice, intermingle with each other, but knowing how to distinguish them in a theoretical framework helps us understand the phenomenon of love and better recognize its nuances and details. Below you can find a brief explanation about them.
These three elements represent the corners of the pyramid of Sternberg’s theory, with intimacy at the top and commitment and passion on the sides. Depending on the combinations that occur between these components, love relationships will be different. For example, in a new relationship, passion predominates over intimacy and commitment.
The possible combinations or types of love
Depending on the possible combinations, Sternberg affirms that there are different ways of loving These ways of loving can be understood in isolation or as stages:
1. Honey
Affection refers to true friendship There is only intimacy, but there is no passion or commitment. The members of the relationship feel close and trust each other, but there is no desire to have intimate relationships or commitment as a couple.
In this way of loving there is a lot of passion, however, there is no intimacy or commitment, which makes these types of relationships superficial. It would be a kind of romance that ends soon or the beginning of a relationship, in which there is a lot of desire to have intimate relationships but there is not enough trust or commitment.
3. Empty love
Empty love is characterized by high commitment, without passion or intimacy This is common in interested or long-term relationships, when there is neither trust nor intimate relationships, but there is a commitment to be together.
4. Romantic love
Romantic love is a way of loving in which the members of the relationship feel attraction and excitement, and, furthermore, they have trust and closeness. Romantic love has inspired thousands of novels and movies, it is the love that Romeo and Juliet feel. If this stage continues with great experiences together, it could end up causing commitment.
5. Sociable love
It usually happens in long-term relationships. There is intimacy and commitment, but no passion It is the type of love that can manifest when the couple lacks desire and excitement towards the other person, but coexistence, children and experiences together keep them united. This relationship may seem satisfying to the members and last a long time.
6. Fatuous love
In fatuous love, passion and commitment predominate, but there is no intimacy Fatuous love can occur because the members of the couple want to be together, since there is the desire and excitement to live intimate experiences, however, they do not have many things in common.
7. Consummate love
This is complete love. It is made up of the three elements of Sternberg’s pyramid theory. Consummated love is the main love archetype, it is ideal love and is also called mature love
You have to work on the three elements to achieve consummate love
Sternberg speaks of “not love” when these three elements are not present in the relationship The same author states that couples with consummate or complete love continue to share intimate desire and passion on all levels, even after many years. However, Sternberg points out that maintaining consummated love is more complicated than achieving it, so it is necessary for couples to work on the three basic elements of his theory. After all, actions speak louder than words.
The balance between these three ingredients can change as a relationship progresses. However, time alone does not result in high intimacy, passion, or commitment. Knowing these three ingredients of love can help actors recognize when they need to improve one of the elements, or can help them make the decision to leave it behind. Sternberg concludes that Without the expression of all three components, even the truest love can die
What happens in our brain when we fall in love?
Many experts on the subject affirm that love is a complex phenomenon, and despite the much research that has been carried out to date, there has not always been a consensus among researchers. Falling in love, attraction and love are complex experiences in which cultural and biological factors interact.
But, What happens in our brain when we fall in love? We answer this question in our article “The chemistry of love: a very powerful drug”
