What Is “Phubbing” And How Does It Affect Our Relationships?
Since the smartphone boom occurred in the middle of the last decade, the presence of these devices in our lives has only grown exponentially.
The percentage of inhabitants of our planet who use a mobile phone is 51%, that is, no less than 3,790 million people. This percentage of users of smartphone For example, in Spain it amounts to up to 80% of the adult population. Regarding the social use of the phone, 42% access networks such as Facebook, WhatsApp, Twitter or Instagram on a regular basis in order to interact with others. In light of these data (Fernández, 2016), we can assume that the way we relate to each other is in a process of constant change.
“With their constant beeps, rings, vibrations and whistles, phones are like a capricious child who won’t behave until he or she gets what he or she wants. The desire of our phones is to be constantly attended to.” (Roberts and David (2016)
What is phubbing and why is it becoming normalized?
Due to the need to describe a social phenomenon that did not exist not many years ago, the Australian Macquaire dictionary developed a campaign around the world in 2012 dedicated to familiarizing the population with the word phubbing (Pathak, 2013). combination of words phone (phone) and snubbing (to make contempt), this term refers to the fact that, in a social gathering, ignore someone by paying attention to your cell phone instead of talking to that person face to face
This behavior, certainly harmful in any social interaction, is becoming common. Varoth Chotpitayasunondh and Karen Douglas (2016) have recently investigated the psychological causes and consequences of this behavior. These authors discovered that, as could be intuitively predictedone of the causes that leads us to deliberately ignore the person we are with is mobile phone addiction
Among the factors that predict mobile phone addiction, and therefore phubbing, is Internet addiction and its excessive use, which is closely related to other non-chemical addictions such as problem gambling.
As a predictor of Internet and smartphone addiction, these researchers from the University of Kent found that an influential factor was the user’s ability to self-control.. The less self-control, the more likely you are to be addicted to the Internet and smartphones and, therefore, the more likely you are to phubbing A final important factor that was identified was the fear and concern of being left out of the events, happenings and conversations that are taking place in the social circle, causing problematic use of the mobile phone.
Phubbing behavior, the authors argue, is becoming normal and acceptable because of what is conceptualized in social psychology as “reciprocity.” Repeatedly ignoring other people while keeping an eye on your cell phone causes others, intentionally or unintentionally, to return this social action.
Although it is not pleasant for anyone to be ignored, roles are often exchanged throughout different social interactions, being “ignorant” on some occasions and ignored on others. Because social learning is basic in the acquisition of new behaviors, this exchange, according to researchers, leads us to assume the false consensus that this way of acting is acceptable and even normal. The authors confirmed this by finding that those people who were more ignorant and those who tended to be ignored more viewed these behaviors as more socially acceptable.
How does phubbing affect our close relationships?
The mere (visible) presence of a mobile phone on the table can reduce the perception of closeness, trust and quality of conversation between two people, this effect being more pronounced when discussing emotionally relevant topics (Przybylski and Weinstein, 2013).
Around 70% of the participants in a study on the influence of technologies on romantic relationships (McDaniel and Coyne, 2016) stated that computers or smartphones interfered in some way with their coexistence The greater the frequency of interference from technologies, the greater the impact on their well-being (less satisfaction with the relationship, with life in general and more depressive symptoms).
Therefore, this phubbing behavior is not limited to sporadic encounters between friends, co-workers, classmates, etc. but it can directly affect the structure of our most intimate relationships and have a certain influence on our quality of life.
Phubbing in relationships
James Roberts and Meredith David (2016), from Baylor University, decided to study the effects of partner phubbing either p-phubbing, that is, interruptions to look at the cell phone during a conversation while in the presence of the romantic partner. Due to the wide presence of these smartphones, as mentioned above, it is highly likely that interruptions will occur frequently in people who share a large amount of time, such as a married couple or any couple.
Due to the attachment needs of human beings, these authors hypothesize that for a quality relationship to occur, the sole presence of the couple is not enough, but rather certain emotional exchanges must occur that must be reciprocal. These exchanges, as the use and presence of smartphones advance, may be diminished. Thus, Due to the disruptions caused by p-phubbing, attachment and attention needs may not be met in the same way that they are without the interference of certain technologies.
Conflicts aggravated by phubbing
Regarding the results of the study by James Roberts and Meredith David (2016), as predictedthe greater the frequency of phubbing, the greater the number of conflicts related to mobile phone use
Phubbing and conflicts regarding mobile phones were good predictors of relationship quality, that is, when there were numerous conflicts and couples engaged in phubbing, the quality of the relationship decreased significantly. Furthermore, since the quality of the couple’s relationship is a factor that influences the quality of life, it could be stated that interrupting our face-to-face relationships due to using the mobile phone can have a negative impact on our well-being in the long term. This decrease in quality of life can indirectly cause phubbing to create a context conducive to the progressive appearance of depressive symptoms.
It is important to note that in couples who interrupted their relationship more frequently due to cell phones, the number of conflicts was even greater in those in which one of the members had an insecure attachment style, compared to the secure attachment style. People with an insecure attachment style, related to cold emotional relationships and a greater desire to control their partner, would therefore be more affected by the contempt caused by their partner.
Conclusions
Taking into account that, currently, the percentage of divorces compared to marriages stands at 50% (without taking into account the separations of other couples), the empirical evidence provided by this type of studies should be useful to make us aware of our acts.
This awareness does not imply that to live a fruitful relationship as a couple we must isolate ourselves from the benefits that new technologies bring, but rather make correct use of them. Just as a person can subjugate their partner by exercising excessive control over them and preventing them, for example, from attending meetings with their friends, a mobile phone (somewhat inert) can deprive us of moments with our loved ones. Taking advantage of our “powerful” frontal lobe, we must take charge of our relationships and be able to guide our lives towards the best possible quality of life. It would be of little use to live in an online world if we disconnect from what is truly important.
Roberts, J. A., & David, M. E. (2016). My life has become a major distraction from my cell phone: Partner phubbing and relationship satisfaction among romantic partners. Computers in Human Behavior, 54, 134-141.
