4 Principles That The Toltecs Taught Us About Relationships
The Toltecs were an ancient civilization that managed to dominate much of Mexico
Much has been said about their contributions to the history of the development of humanity, and although this people has disappeared, elements that can inspire us to manage our relationships more successfully can still be found in their past and their way of seeing life. For some reason they were considered “women and men of knowledge.”
Related article: “40 wise phrases to reflect on life”
Based on the doctrine of this ancient culture, the Mexican Michael Ruiz wrote the book The 4 Agreements of Toltec Wisdom.
These principles refer to Yo relatively simple ideas but not so easy to put into practice ; However, once we master them our life will be freer of communication problems with the people around us.
4 Toltec principles to relate better
If you are wanting to know What are these four Toltec principles to improve our interpersonal relationships?, here I offer you a quick summary. If you want to investigate more about this civilization, you may be surprised by the wisdom that their culture exuded.
1. “Be impeccable with your words”
This principle consists of keep in mind at all times that once we have spoken what has come out of our mouth can never be erased again and it has already had some effects on our listeners.
This is the aspect of language that some philosophers call the perlocutionary speech act. This does not mean that we should talk less, but that we should reflect on the good or bad impact of what we say, and not just whether what we say is true or not. It’s about not speaking impulsively.
2. “Don’t take anything personally”
It is very common that due to the actions of other people, we get in a bad mood; That is partly because we depend a lot on other people’s opinions and we rarely stop to think that perhaps the other person is projecting their problems and insecurities onto us.
Thus, it is worth it that when someone is making us feel bad, we stop for a moment to think about the saying: “what Juan says about Pedro says more about Juan than about Pedro.”
3. “Don’t make assumptions”
Answer this question: the times that you have imagined or fantasized that the things that others talk about have to do with you, are they negative or positive things? If you answered that they are positive, bravo, you are one of the few people who thinks that way; but if you answered that they are negative, don’t be scared, there is an explanation.
There is a theory according to which human beings tend to give greater importance and credibility to bad news due to survival instinct. Now, if we assume that others have a negative idea of us, how much harm can we do to another person? How much negativity will go through our heads while we are thinking such a thing? Gossip is something that damages our social relationships and can be prevented in a relatively simple way: by asking questions and clearing up doubts.
This idea is summarized like this: the day you give your maximum effort, in the best way you can and how you believe it, is when you will accept the consequences of your actions in the best way
It is important to note that it is good to seek a balance in what we do. Give what we can give, do what we can do, but without committing to offer more than we can give, since that will only serve to produce stress and frustration. This Toltec principle is about the importance of accepting and knowing our limits, because by knowing them we will also have an easier time knowing if we are doing less or more than we could do.
For reflection
We must remember that these are 4 principles or “agreements” inspired by an old civilization whose living conditions are very different from ours.
Therefore, it is our task to know how to interpret them well if we want to make them useful. However, and despite the practice and effort required to know how to apply them, it is easy to find in them a profound lesson about social relationships and about how to find a balance between oneself and the social environment.
