The communicative skills What we have determines the success of our interpersonal relationships, and, therefore, it is necessary to communicate well at work, with our friends, our family, and in general with all the people around us. Knowing and mastering basic communication skills provides many benefits, such as helping to resolve differences or promoting trust and mutual respect.
For example, it is essential to have good communication skills when we face a job interview or if we live as a couple, since coexistence is a constant negotiation. Although communicating seems simple, much of what we communicate is misinterpreted or misunderstood. Of course, this can cause conflict in both our professional and personal relationships.
Communication skills and their relationship with emotional balance
Learning to communicate effectively is a skill that should be part of the school curriculum Being a competent communicator can make a difference in personal relationships, in the success of your professional career and, furthermore, in your self-esteem and self-confidence, because it is part of basic social skills.
The relationship between emotional balance and communication skills has been demonstrated in a multitude of research, and, in fact, its training is a therapeutic technique that is used in psychologists’ consultations because it provides benefits for the patient’s well-being.
On the other hand, it has been shown that The quality of life of human beings is closely related to their ability to socialize with the rest of the members of their species ; Therefore, the degree to which we manage to create alliances and establish stable bonds greatly influences our ability to be happy. And this aspect of life has to do with communication skills, both at an interpersonal, group and even institutional level.
The 12 most important communication skills (and how to train them)
If something characterizes the happiest people, it is that they have communication skills that help them face the different situations that arise in their daily lives in a more satisfactory way. Don’t be discouraged if you have difficulty communicating because no one is born an expert Communication, like other skills, can be learned and practiced.
So read on to find out what basic communication skills are.
1. Active listening
Knowing how to listen is a basic communication skill, but, although it may seem simple, not everyone has this skill Many times we only hear instead of listening, and other times, we listen to ourselves instead of listening to others with a correct attitude. The active listening, as its name suggests, means listening actively, that is, with full attention. In other words, you have to pay attention with all five senses.
Active listening refers to paying attention not only to what the person says, but also to the feelings, ideas or thoughts that the individual expresses.
2. Empathy
In effective communication, empathy is important to put yourself in the other’s shoes. In fact, empathy is one of the most important social skills, because it is necessary to live with others. Even if you don’t totally agree with a coworker, employee, or friend, It is necessary to understand their point of view, because they also have their needs Furthermore, putting yourself in the other person’s shoes helps you send a clearer and more effective message.
3. Emotional validation
But in addition to the two previous points, emotional validation must be taken into account, that is, acceptance and feedback to communicate better. Because when we have others in front of us, it is necessary to listen without judging and it is an essential requirement to communicate to the other person that they have been understood.
emotional validation Improves communication since the other interlocutor feels recognized and understood, and thus increases the verbalization of what he thinks. Emotional validation has a positive effect as it creates an environment of trust. Telling the other person that you have understood them, showing them that you have been listening to them, and making it clear that you respect their opinion are enough to create a favorable communicative environment.
4. Non-verbal language
Body posture, eye contact or gestures, that is, non-verbal language (or non-verbal communication) also communicate. Being relaxed and conveying what we are trying to say can maximize the message we want to send to others. A study carried out by Albert Mehrabian states that In a face-to-face conversation, the verbal component is 35% and more than 65% is non-verbal communication In Mehrabian’s own words: “The verbal component is used to communicate information and the non-verbal component is used to communicate personal states and attitudes.”
5. Conflict resolution and negotiation
Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, and Learning to deal with it and negotiate is a healthy and essential way to make relationships work Some individuals prefer not to face conflicts to avoid the discomfort they can generate. This only causes resentment and misunderstandings.
The ability to resolve conflicts efficiently requires acting calmly, non-defensively, and respectfully. When one controls one’s own emotions, it is possible to communicate one’s opinions without threatening or attacking others.
6. Verbal language
One of the basic elements of a good communicator is how you sound in front of others. Speaking too softly or too loudly, slurring your words, or using too many filler terms like “ah,” “eh,” or “um,” can cause the message and the connection with the interlocutor to be lost.
Therefore, It is necessary to be clear, use concrete examples, have good improvisation skills, vocalize correctly, consider timing and ultimately correctly express what we have in mind to connect with our interlocutor.
7. Ability to maintain eye contact
The act of speaking while looking into the eyes is one of the pillars of face-to-face communication, and something that goes beyond non-verbal communication. Because? Because although looking away or keeping your eyes down communicates certain mental states, it also makes the exchange of information difficult and gives rise to misunderstandings.
It must be taken into account that our brain has circuits of neurons that work in a coordinated manner specifically to predispose us to look at the face and process very subtle information about each of the details of the faces of others, something that has allowed us to be mammals. with an extraordinary ability to live in large groups and socialize well with each other. And at the center of the face we tend to look at is the connection that is established by looking into each other’s eyes; If that link is broken, we lose reference about where to look, and we overlook many details of what the other is trying to express.
That’s why, Shy people who have trouble making eye contact often find themselves in situations where they are not well understood To remedy this type of problem, it is advisable to try not to stop looking at the faces of the people we talk to, instead of becoming obsessed with always looking into the eyes of others; The first is easier than the second and, furthermore, our gaze will naturally seek that of the other.
8. Read and write well
Reading and writing are important to communicate Reading enables intellectual development and, as a cognitive function, allows access to technological, scientific and information advances. Therefore, it helps to better understand reality, and being regular readers gives us the necessary tools to be able to engage in critical dialogue.
Regarding writing, we do not always have to communicate orally, but it is important to have a good command of written communication. Nowadays, new information and communication technologies (ICT) have burst into our lives with force. Writing a cover letter to seduce a recruiter if we want a job or sending an email to a company to complain about its service requires this skill.
9. Respect
People are more open to communicating if we show respect for them and their ideas Simple actions such as using their name or addressing them on a first-name basis, having eye contact that indicates sincerity, and reflecting active listening make other people feel respected and taken into consideration. In a relationship, for example, a nice gesture or sign of affection can almost instantly stop a tense and negative situation and return the relationship to a good channel for positive and affective communication.
Persuasion is a key communication tool, especially in the business world, because it transforms ideas, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors, and attempts to satisfy the needs of both parties. It usually has a bad reputation, because, in the wrong way, it can be confused with manipulation (doing something against your interests). Persuasion is the basis of any successful negotiation
11. Credibility
If we think about the previous point, It is impossible to persuade an audience if we do not demonstrate credibility and authority Credibility generates trust, and, as with respect, trust is a great ally of communication. People are more receptive when there is trust. Therefore, it is necessary that you be consistent with what you say and what you do. For example, there should be harmony between your verbal and non-verbal communication.
12. Ability to use humor
Humor not only makes us feel good; In addition, it gives rise to one of the most important communication skills, because it helps us reveal our most human side in moments in which the protocol or the rules of a very rigid communicative context can limit us too much For example, at work we can generate an image of ourselves that does not correspond to reality if we do everything and say it in a very serious way, making others think that we are a kind of machine for following orders and enforcing them.
To use humor well, the best thing is, rather than knowing some jokes or jokes (using these resources is very easy but does not lead to fluid communication and can generate uncomfortable situations if the context is not right), improvise and not take it upon ourselves. ourselves very seriously, accepting the possibility that some of the comments we make will not make others burst out laughing and losing the fear of what they will say.
Psychotherapy to enhance your ability to communicate fluently
Communication skills can be trained and enhanced through experience, especially if we have specialized professional support in this area. That’s why, Psychological assistance is a very good option to enhance the main skills that have to do with communication, as well as other social skills. Through psychotherapy, aspects such as the management of social anxiety, the development of active listening, the modulation of non-verbal language, the search for consensus in conflict situations, etc. are addressed. And by the way, it is not necessary to have developed a psychopathology to go to the psychologist; There are those who resort to this professional help when faced with types of discomfort such as relationship crises, low self-esteem, or work stress. In short, looking for a psychologist can be a very good way to enhance your communication skills and social skills in general.
