Friends and Happiness: Quantity at 20, Quality at 30

We don’t know too many things about what happiness but what does seem to be certain is that It is closely related to the emotional ties we have with other people Except in the minds of a few philosophers, happiness is basically found in life in common with others, in the image of ourselves that other people reflect to us and in personal projects that only exist because we all live in society.

However… How can we modulate our social life to bring us closer to happiness? According to a study published in the journal Psychology and Agingone of the keys to being happy when reaching maturity is having had many friends at 20 and good friends at 30

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An investigation that has lasted three decades

This research has lasted 30 years and was started in the 1970s, when 222 young people were asked to write down in a diary all their interactions (and certain characteristics of these, such as the degree of intimacy and their subjective appreciation of what happened). gratifying of these) that they had with other people over two weeks. Ten years later, these same participants filled out the same type of diary again, in order to have two categories of data to compare with each other.

The researchers wanted to check to what extent the social networks woven during early adulthood influenced the quality and strength of the social relationships that are formed upon reaching maturity They started from the assumption that during late youth the social life of consolidated adulthood is focused, something that directly influences the happiness of each person.

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That is why, when these people reached the age of around 50, the research team contacted 133 of them again to answer a series of questions related to their social relationships, the roles they played, the number of interactions they that used to happen. They also answered items related to their perception of their own quality of life and psychological well-being

Go from flower to flower at 20, focus at 30

After a statistical analysis of the data, the research team found that The quantity of social interactions at age 20, and not their quality, was associated with greater well-being at age 50 People who had a very active and busy social life in their 20s tended to reach 50 feeling less lonely, less depressed, with a greater sense of autonomy and, in general, obtaining positive scores on items related to quality of life.

At age 30, however, a large number of social relationships did not predict better quality of life decades later.

Why is this happening?

There is a possibility that this is because What is expected of social life and friendship changes as one grows

Early youth is a time in which we tend to want to experience many things, experience many emotions and, consequently, to have more numerous and varied social interactions This is something that makes learning possible during an age when it is very important to know how things work and when important life projects have not yet been fully established.

At thirty years old, however, This need for variety has already been disappearing and those types of interactions that fit better with more established tastes and preferences are valued more. You begin to be more demanding and selective, and this also translates into social life, since coming into contact with many people of all kinds could become a form of “distraction.”

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From “anything goes” to “I don’t have time”

The conclusion drawn by these researchers can be illustrated as a breadth of vision towards social life that narrows over the years to, finally, remain focused on those types of interactions that we have learned are beneficial and that provide us with well-being. to a greater degree than the rest.

However, this is not the only possible explanation, since it could also be that the Western life model rewards those people who at age 20 have more free time than at age 30, although this is a hypothesis that would have to be put forward. tested in another investigation.

In any case, This study serves to confirm that throughout our lives we change at many levels, both individually and socially, and that this has consequences on our psychological well-being. Research in this sense can help us be more informed about what life strategies can bring us closer to happiness when we reach full adulthood… if by then we have already learned what it means to be happy.