Self-control is one of the most important psychological abilities: not only is it a trait in which we stand out for having developed it much more than the rest of the animals; Furthermore, it allows us to prioritize long-term goals over those that give us immediate satisfaction, which is basic to being able to live in society.
Here we will see what it is and what are the characteristics of self-control and how it benefits us.
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He self control It is the ability to exercise control over oneself and, specifically, over impulses and sources of motivation focused on the very short term. That is, it is what allows us to control (to a certain extent) our own emotions, behaviors, desires, or simply be calm. This ability allows us to face each moment of life with greater serenity and effectiveness when we set out to undertake projects, socialize or simply achieve medium and long-term goals.
The person who has high self-control You are able to dominate your thoughts and your way of acting, which can be beneficial in a multitude of situations For example, in a relationship conflict or a labor negotiation. Research affirms that emotional intelligence is key to mastering this skill.
On the contrary, if we do not adequately develop self-control, we are more likely to develop addictions, conflictive dynamics when relating to others, or even self-destructive behavior patterns, in addition to having more difficulties achieving ambitious goals.
The first step to controlling our behavior and our way of thinking is to have great self-knowledge. This way, one is able to recognize his emotions and is able to regulate his way of acting
Benefits of this skill set
But what benefits does self-control have? Self-control provides many advantages, such as the following:
Possessing self-control is not always easy: imagine if you are on a diet to lose weight and when you go out to dinner at a restaurant you have to make a great effort not to eat the food. brownies that they served you for dessert.
Self-control is important for humans, and some studies claim that People with greater self-control make more friends, get better grades, or have healthier lives because they are less overweight or smoke and drink less alcohol.
Well then, You will like to know that the ability to self-control can be improved For this reason, and so that you can get the most out of it, in today’s article we have prepared a list of tips to improve your ability to self-control. Take note!
1. You should know that self-control can be improved
If you have difficulty controlling your behavior, the first thing you should know is that it is possible to improve your ability to self-control, because otherwise you will hardly be able to do so. So Have a positive attitude and do your part to better regulate your emotions and behavior
2. Be aware and define what you want to control
It is essential that you are aware of what you want to control and that you know what you want to change, because if you are not aware of your current behaviors and routines it is difficult to practice self-control. If you want to lose weight, first of all you must know what you eat daily. On the other hand, if you want greater control of attention to improve your sports performance or make better decisions, first you must know what you are doing wrong and you must know your negative habits , those that prevent you from being more efficient. Furthermore, being aware helps you detect problematic situations, which will allow you to react in time.
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3. Don’t depend on your brute force
There are complex situations that are not always easy to control. People have a limit, and self-control does not mean that we have to fight against the current. For example, if you are in the office and have just had a conflict with a coworker, you may want to control the situation by staying in the same room with him and acting as if the thing is not your concern. Maybe it’s a good alternative take a few minutes of break in the coffee room to reconsider and get back to normal instead of forcing yourself to pretend that you have everything under control.
Emotional Intelligence (EI), a concept made popular by Daniel Goleman, is the ability to identify, understand and regulate one’s own emotions and those of others. Self-control or self-regulation of emotions is one of the skills that emotionally intelligent people master , but it is not understood without mastering the other elements that make up this type of intelligence, for example, self-knowledge or empathy. Learning and acquiring emotional intelligence skills makes you a person with greater self-control. That is why we recommend reading the following articles:
5. Reduce the appeal of temptations
If you’re someone who really likes sweets, it can be hard to resist a piece of chocolate, especially when you think about how it’s going to melt in your mouth.
A famous study called “the marshmallow test” (marshmallows are sweets also called marshmallows) carried out in the 1960s by psychologist Walter Mischel at Stanford University, showed what was the best way to resist the temptation to eat sweets. . Furthermore, according to the conclusions of the study, The capacity for self-control predicts whether a person can achieve success, both academically, emotionally and socially
The experiment involved a group of 4-year-old subjects, who were given a marshmallow. It was proposed to them that if they could wait 20 minutes without eating it, they would be given another one. Those children who did not resist the temptation to put it in their mouths would not receive another cloud. The results showed that 2 out of 3 children did not last 20 minutes and ate the candy. After a few years, researchers discovered that those who did resist temptation were more successful both in the work and academic fields as well as in the social and emotional fields.
But what made some children resist temptation and others not? Well, children who were asked to imagine the candy as an image or an abstract figure (for example, a cloud in the sky) were more successful in resisting the temptation. In contrast, those children who imagined the candy because of its flavor or because it was a chewy candy had greater difficulties in the test.
6. Modify the environment
Imagine that you are at home and, even though you are on a diet, you want to eat some cookies. Luckily, you go to the kitchen, open the cupboard and see that they are gone. In the end you choose to eat a banana and yogurt which, after all, are healthier. Having negative stimuli at your fingertips is not a good option so if you want to have greater self-control, you can make decisions like not buying the cookies.
Imagine another example: You are studying in your room and you have a bowl of candy in front of you, obviously you will eat more candy if you have it on your desk than if you don’t. Therefore, modifying the environment is a good strategy for self-control. A 2006 study found that a group of secretaries ate more candy when the bowl it was in was transparent rather than opaque, and when it was on their work desk rather than more than 6 feet away.
Did you know that the colors of a room can affect your mood and your purchasing impulses?
If this interests you, you can visit our article: “Color psychology: meaning and curiosities about colors”
7. Try Mindfulness
He Mindfulness It is a widely used practice today and research shows that it helps improve self-control and emotional management, especially in stressful situations.
Basically, Mindfulness focuses on attentional and attitudinal work, which seeks to be present, in the here and now, intentionally, complying with basic principles and thinking characterized by not judging, accepting, being compassionate and patient. Do you still not know the Mindfulness practice and its benefits?
If you wish, you can read our post: “Mindfulness: 8 benefits of full attention”
