Gray Divorce: The Increasing Trend Among Mature Couples
During the last three decades, the divorce rate in the population over 50 years of age has skyrocketed, especially in developed countries. Men and women close to seniority decide that they can’t take it anymore and that they don’t want to continue with their relationship.
This increase in senior divorces has been dubbed the gray divorce revolution, alluding to the gray hairs that many of those seeking separation already have.
Next we will explore further What has caused more and more gray divorces?
Gray divorce, also known as silver or diamond divorce, refers to the trend of those middle-aged and elderly couples, “with gray hair” who decide to separate after many years of living together This phenomenon has taken special interest in recent years given that divorce in people over 50 years of age has been increasing, especially in the United States where this concept comes from.
In the last three decades the number of elderly couples who have decided to divorce has been increasing, especially in North America. In fact, it was the American Association of Retired Persons that proposed this term in 2004. The divorce rate for people over 55 doubled between 1990 and 2010. 1 in 4 divorces in 2010 occurred in people over 50 . In 2012, researchers at Bowling Green State University (Ohio) called this growing trend of divorces in people over 50 years old the “gray divorce revolution.”
But the explosion of gray divorces is not limited to the United States. The same trends have been seen in other societies, such as Western Europe, Australia, and even India In Canada, divorce among people aged 55 to 65 has increased exponentially; in the United Kingdom, divorces among people over 55 years old, known there as “silver dividers” or “silver surfers,” have doubled. And in Japan, couples married for more than 30 years have quadrupled their divorce rate. Gray divorce is a global reality that is transforming the social and economic life of families and society.
Why is this tendency to divorce at older ages occurring?
There are many circumstances behind the increase in divorces among people over 50 years of age. One of the reasons is that, in the late 1960s and 1970s, interest in personal happiness and self-actualization took hold. Added to this, over the following decades, in most advanced countries life expectancy increased, attitudes about marriage as a lifelong institution changed, Divorce became socially accepted and women joined the workforce, becoming more economically independent
Couples who were married decades ago and who, for whatever reasons, have grown apart or found themselves unhappy for years, are willing to confront their differences on various issues and recognize their unsatisfactory relationships. Added to this is a critical moment, which is when they experience empty nest syndrome, that is, their adult children leave home, and they wonder what they now have in common.
Infidelity and addictions are also important triggers for divorce at these ages Spouses seek refuge from their partner’s mental, emotional, and physical abuse. The breakdown of the relationship due to financial irregularities, such as not being able to progress financially or one of the two parties spending more than they can afford, can also motivate separation.
Be that as it may, what gray divorcees share most is having realized that their marriage is not the dream they imagined it would be, and they feel unhappy and dissatisfied, feeling that if they don’t do something now or end the relationship, the dynamic It will continue until death do them part. They don’t want to continue wasting time, life and energy, so They choose to break off the relationship in the hope of being able to take advantage of the decades they have left in freedom
The search for personal happiness and self-satisfaction
People who today are 50 years old or older and begin the divorce process often say that they do it because they want something more and different. This population group came of age between the late 1960s and early 1980s, just in a period in which in many countries divorce became more widespread and acquired greater social acceptance.
Some, especially women, perceive these marriages as conflictive and extremely unsatisfactory They feel they have very little or virtually no interaction with their husbands. They wonder, “Is this it?” and report that they feel lonely despite being married. They feel that they live in an empty relationship, the remains of a marriage that once appeared to them as so promising and happy. They end up divorcing with the hope of starting a new stage, with joy and happiness, both with new partners and alone, whatever it may be without living in a relationship that had been dead for a long time.
Aspects to take into account in a gray divorce
Finally, we are going to highlight a series of aspects to take into account before starting a divorce process over 50 years old. As we said, the reasons that lead a couple to divorce are very varied, some of which are very legitimate, such as having been a victim of infidelity, physical and psychological abuse, or that both spouses really no longer love each other.
However, we must take into account several aspects regarding divorce in late adulthood. Divorces are still critical situations, in which two people who previously loved each other very much now no longer feel comfortable sharing a life, something that You can try to solve it by going to couples therapy Likewise, it is important to understand that if you proceed with the separation, no matter how convinced the spouses are, it will have an emotional effect on both.
Among the aspects to take into account we find the following.
1. Alimony
Alimony payments are more common in gray divorces.
2. Retirement accounts
Retirement accounts can take a serious hit during divorce.
3. Children and grandchildren
Most couples who divorce between ages 50 and 60 have children who are already adults. Nevertheless, One should not think that because a person is already an adult, their parents’ divorce will not affect them r.
The separation will have emotional consequences on the children and, although in this case there are no discussions about custody and the children may already have their respective families formed, they feel that they have to choose between one parent or the other. And if there are already grandchildren, the separation will be especially painful for them.
You may be interested: “Empty Nest Syndrome: when loneliness takes over the home”
4. Prenuptial contracts
Prenuptial contracts serve to divide assets between spouses before getting married, establishing who owns what When getting divorced, you should take them into account and assess whether it is worth continuing with the process.
5. Rebuild your life and get married again
In divorces, age matters. The older you are, the more difficult it will be to rebuild your life after separation Although it is not impossible to remarry at 50, it is more complicated and it is important to prepare for the new dynamics of relationships.
