It is very common, both in our daily lives and in the professional field of a psychologist, that we hear of cases of couples in which infidelity occurs. In these situations the question usually arises… is it preferable to end the relationship or can it continue?
In this article we will examine the question of If it is possible to resume the relationship after infidelity with all that this entails, or it is better to end this relationship as a couple.
It is important to highlight that the situation and the suffering that can be generated will depend largely on the values that sustain a relationship. If in the couple’s values the breakup of monogamy is not seen as a betrayal, obviously, the suffering is much less or non-existent.
It is also important to know what type of infidelity we are talking about (sexual, more emotional, digital…) and how both members of the couple perceive it.
Equally important is to assess why the infidelity occurred; especially, If this has happened due to a basic problem in the relationship that must be resolved such as the couple’s routine or a behavioral pattern based on a lack of impulse control, among other causes.
Intervention in couples therapy
The psychologist will help find why this infidelity has occurred, but it is not about finding “culprits” but rather finding possible deficiencies in the relationship or specific behaviors that can be improved.
Well then, This is a complex and personal issue but one in which a psychologist can help How can you do it? Why is professional help advisable in these situations?
It is a complex issue that can cause great suffering for both parties. Obviously, the person who has been unfaithful feels bad, but the person who has been unfaithful also usually has to manage feelings of guilt, frustration…
The person who has been unfaithful may feel lost, not knowing whether to forgive, whether to cut off the relationship, whether to take revenge, whether to get angry or sad… The person who has been unfaithful He doesn’t know how to act, whether to talk about it, whether to keep quiet whether to be more affectionate, whether to act normally… and this, in turn, generates tension in the relationship that makes coexistence very difficult and that can wear it down to the point of breaking up.
Can the love relationship be resumed?
It is true that if both have gone to therapy together and wish to continue with their relationship (we find situations in which only one party goes to therapy), that will be what is sought in the first instance, but if the relationship does not allow them be happy, which is more common if in addition to infidelity there is other insurmountable deficiencies, Tools will be given so that the person can detect it and be able to continue on their own.
We must take into account that It will always be the person who goes to the consultation who makes the decisions The psychologist cannot tell you whether or not you should continue the relationship, but he can give you tools to work on the expression of feelings, to work on forgiveness, guilt, self-esteem, trust… since the relationship can continue if both of you decide, working so that this infidelity does not mean the end of the breakup if it is not what is desired and working so that this infidelity does not mean a trauma that affects the present and future of the person. .
Located in Valencia is the Mariva Psychologists psychology center, specialized in couples therapy and, specifically, in working on problems due to infidelities. In this center both the emotions and the behavior of both parties are worked on as well as couple communication and deciding if they should work on forgiveness, if they are in the process of anger and rage, if they should work on trust, etc.
In short, we work to ensure that the couple and each part of it (that is, both people) feel well on a mental level. To achieve this, strategies are developed to accompany them in their decisions, giving them the tools to achieve their goals, for the couple’s relationship to solve their problems or, separately, for them to feel well. To access the contact details of the Mariva Psychologists team, click here.
