When Santa Claus Doesn’t Bring Gifts: Coping With Emotional Discomfort At Christmas
The end of year holidays are coming and everything drives us to have to be well Advertising and social networks tell us that we should be happy, as well as how to do it, and force us not to forget that it is time to celebrate.
In a world where we strive for the acceptance of diversity and inclusion, we forget that things continue to happen at parties, good and bad, and that many people do not conform to this rule of happiness manufactured for the end of the year Perhaps, we label them as having “bad vibes” or we simply exclude them and justify ourselves by saying that they prefer to be alone, in this way we heal our unempathetic conscience.
We are required to have amnesia and live in a bubble of illusions; That’s not bad, of course not, but the world goes on for those others who are not happy.
A soccer World Cup or the end-of-year celebrations do not cover up what is happening. Celebrating is fine, but to the extent that we avoid looking around us and look the other way, We become childlike beings looking for a magical solution to what is happening We sing nostalgic carols of love and communion, they urge us to be supportive, that is the message that is normally heard. But reaching this time of year, many people experience depression or similar symptoms.
emotional affective disorder
This melancholy typical of the time is known as SAD, emotional affective disorder. This disorder It is related to something that ends in our mind, real or imaginary It is not always a disorder, it can consist of mild symptoms, but they generate a decrease in mood, in all its variables.
It becomes difficult not to compare ourselves with others and their plans
Many people feel sorry for those who are alone or who do not have much to celebrate, but few are supportive enough towards our fellow human beings. This is not a moral comment, it is just the revelation of a human condition, described long ago, in which we do not see ourselves even close to suffering those emotions, or rather we keep away the idea that any harm could happen to us because we have family or plans that are traditionally inherited or simply because those things do not happen to us.
This attitude of apparent little solidarity is ultimately the result of a human quality; not the best, but the one that occurs when we avoid identifying with the one who suffers, trying to make this work as an antidote for us to the vision of others’ pain.
We look the other way
Most of the time we do not realize this attitude others yes.
Underneath this behavior lies the “This is not going to happen to me.” Once again, the human belief that we are special and happy, but also exempt from any misfortune of fate, or at least this one, of spending Christmas alone.
Surely we all have something in which we are special and lucky, but clearly it is not about being outside of human realities. Anything can happen to us, in the sense that we can all feel that way, as sad and desolate as the one we see at Christmas alone. Or have we all felt that emptiness and sadness at some point and recognized those feelings and the pain they entail? Is that what makes us turn our gaze and find semi-justified causes for that pain, that of the other? Could it be that it scares us?
How do we position ourselves in the face of the emotional pain of others?
Ultimately, it is about how we ourselves relate to grief, endings, the emotions of loneliness and vulnerability to pain and emptiness.
In the northern hemisphere, the reality of the scarcity of hours of sunlight is added, something that is already known to generate feelings of sadness or hopelessness in some people. The dark and cold winter invites you to interact little and spend more time alone This reduces energy and changes mood.
Paradoxically, we find during these times a general increase in stress, fatigue and irritability. The pressure of work to get everything ready, end-of-year shopping, vacation preparations, all contribute to altering the mood and generating tension.
We can take some measures to avoid the consequences that these times produce for the most sensitive spirits and also beyond these festive seasons.
It is important not to feel pressured to appear happy, especially in these times. In each of us there is a story that we do not tell, and that it is okay to put it aside for a couple of nights, but we must understand that no one is immune to sadness or the feeling of loneliness. It is good to try to get the best lesson from what we have to live, and if we have the opportunity to enjoy it, even if it is not in the way we had planned, that is also good and enriches the soul. Let’s try to see the full part of the glass, since we all know that there is an empty part. Let’s try to relate to others; a call or a message can be immensely important to someone much more than we think and make a difference.
Let’s not take things personally, everyone is in their world living their own story, and it takes a lot of wisdom to empathize with others. If you have the opportunity to surround yourself with warm people, it is the best way to go through pain, and if you are lucky, you yourself are the one who can provide that warmth that is often missing.
Suffering from the loss of a loved one It is something that does not have the same meaning for everyone, but if we love that person, the feeling that accompanies it is just as painful. Focusing on the best moments experienced helps; It can range from accompanying someone linked to that person, to a tribute. We have nothing left but to make the best of what we had to live with her.
An opportunity for mutual support
If we are from the group of the lucky ones, those who can enjoy these holidays and much more, let us not stop paying attention to those who do not have that joy.
Bad moments can pass, but when it comes to frequent situations in people who are more affected than expected, we must be attentive; Maybe someone we know needs our help or our company just to be there or to accompany him to ask for help.
Connecting with another’s pain leads us to our own difficult feelings, in other times or areas of our life. Let’s not dismiss the pain of others just to remember what it feels like to face suffering.
Christmas encourages us to be supportive, to empathize with what hurts us or hurt us at different times; Lending a hand to another can help us heal internally and lose the fear of suffering, and understand that pain is part of life, and there are dates that show it. It is very good to enjoy what we have and not focus on emptiness, because we are all missing something.
Collaborating to reduce the feeling of absence and sadness will make us live better with others and, of course, with our interior. It is nothing more than working inside the fear of loss and that our happiness will not last long, with the hope that the good and happy moments will also be repeated.
