Do you feel anxiety before a sexual encounter? A healthy and normal sexuality is what helps you maintain internal balance, what gives you pleasure. Suffering from anxiety has its causes.
A healthy and normal sexuality is what helps you maintain internal balance, what gives you pleasure. There are different ways to live it, feel it and express it. But when there is sexual anxiety , people often feel too extreme fear or worry around everything related to sex. How can we deal with this anxiety around sex?
What is sexual anxiety?
The sexual anxiety It is a condition that causes irrational worries and fears around the sexual act, limiting moments of intimacy. Many people may confuse this anxiety with erectile dysfunction, which is the physical inability to achieve or maintain an erection.
When people experience anxiety in sex , many may suffer from it because they feel sexual concern (fear of undressing, of being judged, etc.) or because they think that they will not be able to satisfy their partner. Typically, this type of anxiety can be caused due to past negative experiences, sexual dysfunctions, stress, or a variety of other factors.
Symptoms of sexual anxiety
As with other anxiety disorders, the symptoms usually have both physical and mental effects. These symptoms can also vary in severity and can be frequent or occur occasionally. Both men and women can experience sexual anxiety Mainly, we find the following symptoms:
- Negative thoughts about sex : People who suffer from this anxiety in the couple or in their intimate relationships They often have negative thoughts and feelings around sex.
- Excessive worry: If these people must be intimate, they tend to worry excessively about the act itself.
- Inability to reach orgasm : Due to the worries and negative feelings they experience about sex, these people may find their ability to reach orgasm limited.
- Sexual problems: In men, cases of premature or delayed ejaculation or even erectile dysfunction can occur due to anxiety. Women, for their part, may suffer from vaginal dryness or pain during penetration.
- Lack of sexual interest: Because of all the problems that can occur around sex, many people who suffer from sexual anxiety They usually end up ignoring everything related to sexuality.
These are some of the main symptoms of sexual anxiety If you think you may be facing this problem, it is important that you go to a professional psychologist due to the effects it can have on you on an emotional and relational level.
Causes of anxiety about sexuality
There are multiple causes that can lead to these sexual anxiety problems. Although there are many different reasons, the most common are usually the following:
- Concern about possible sexual failure: The concept of sexuality that we receive from childhood is restricted to the genitals, we focus our sexual relations on intercourse and see it as an end. But in order to enjoy sexuality we must think that we can also kiss, hug, look, smell, caress, bite, etc. To be happy in a sexual encounter intercourse, orgasm or ejaculation are not essential Maybe if we remove the pressure to “measure up” we will remove all those worries and be able to fully enjoy sexual relations with or without penetration.
- Negative attitudes and harm towards sexuality: Many times they occur for a lack of sexual information and it is necessary to resolve these doubts to enjoy a sexual relationship without fear. Sexuality, with pleasure as an essential objective, must be in the permanent purpose of all people and at all ages. So let’s learn to get the most out of our life experiences, since to give happiness it is necessary to have happiness
- Emotional factors: If the person lives in anguish , live with fears, with restrictions, with sorrow, with unhappiness… it will only cause sadness. If someone loves someone, they must try, first of all, to be happy and, thus, give happiness. Sexuality is for pleasure, never for pain.
- Problems in the relationship: The resentments , lack of communication, etc. cause problems in sexual relations. It is necessary to learn to put yourself in the other’s place, to have confidence, to learn to ask and say what bothers us or we don’t like, to know how to listen to the other’s demands, not to demand, not to blame.
How to deal with sexual anxiety?
In order to face a case of sexual anxiety It is important to work on self-esteem and the psychological problem that exists behind this condition. For this reason, it is essential to go to a professional psychologist to identify the problem. Additionally, you can follow the following instructions:
- Identify triggers: It is important to determine why there are certain situations that trigger experiencing sexual anxiety In fact, acknowledging them can take away some power.
- Focus on what makes you feel good: Sometimes sexual anxiety It happens because we tend to focus on what makes us feel bad. Instead, try focusing your attention on the positive aspects of the experience.
- Prioritize sentimental connection: Sometimes this anxiety is connected with the couple Therefore, try to prioritize emotional connections over the sexual acts you can have in your relationship.
- Distract yourself: Playing romantic music or any stimulus that evades you will help you focus on the positive aspects of the connection and allow you to enjoy this experience.
The most important thing if you suffer from sexual anxiety It’s about taking it easy and not blaming yourself for it. If you think you can’t get over it on your own, it is important that you see a mental health professional.
How can I help my partner with sexual anxiety?
It is vital that you communicate what you feel when your partner is going through a situation of sexual anxiety Additionally, it is crucial that you avoid putting more pressure on what is happening to your partner and try to listen and understand them without judging them. Conversations about the problem will help you feel more connected.