Why Do I Feel Like No One Loves Me? The 6 Most Common Causes
Why do I always think I don’t deserve love from others? What can cause these feelings? Discover why you feel this way and how to address these mistaken beliefs.
We all need to feel loved. But sometimes we may feel like no one loves us because of our situation or because we are facing a bad time in our lives. Why can youunderstand that no one loves you?
Acceptance and love are fundamental human needs. In fact, psychologist Abraham Maslow points out that love and belonging are one of the five essential human needs to feel happy in our lives. Normally, people who they don’t feel loved by anyone They often experience these feelings in different ways. Some of the most common are usually the following:
Incapable of being loved by others: Someone may feel that no one loves them because they believe that it is in a way that others will not be able to love them.
For making mistakes: A person who feels that he has ‘failed’ or has made many ‘mistakes’ in his life may have the idea that others will not love him for it.
Has self-sabotaging behaviors: In some cases, people may withdraw from others because they unconsciously engage in self-sabotaging behaviors that cause their relationships to fail. This can contribute to feeling like no one loves them.
Given these feelings, it is important to note that even though you feel this way, the reality is that these beliefs are not usually true.
A person may believe that Nobody loves her for several reasons. But, normally, people who experience these beliefs are usually facing a bad time. Some of the reasons why you may feel this way are:
Low self-esteem: If you do not value or appreciate yourself, it is completely normal that you end up believing (wrongly) that you do not deserve love from others. In fact, it is usually one of the most common reasons why you can believe that no one loves you
Depression: A person who suffers from a depressive disorder often experiences certain cognitive distortions, which translates into having thoughts and beliefs that are not based on reality. This is how those who suffer from depression can not feeling loved by anyone of his surroundings.
Borderline personality disorder: This disorder involves experiencing very unstable perceptions and feelings about personal worth. This can make those who suffer from this disorder believe that they are unpleasant to their environment. Furthermore, another of the characteristics of this disorder is the ‘all or nothing’ thinking, which ends up resulting in them perceiving themselves through a very negative vision.
Attachment problems: The attachment we feel towards others is usually related to the way our parents raised us as children. That is, you may have an insecure attachment style because your parents did not offer you enough support during the first years of life. This can end up causing don’t feel loved by anyone in your adult stage.
Abuse: Having been in an abusive relationship, some people may mistakenly end up feeling that it was partly their fault. In these cases, it is usually because the abuser may have made his victim believe that they did not deserve better treatment, something that these people can extrapolate to their future relationships.
Trauma: Experiencing trauma can end up making people feel like nobody loves them In the same way that happens when receiving abuse, traumas can also cause the mistaken feeling that they are to blame for these bad moments.
Feel like no one loves you It can end up affecting you both personally and in your relationships with others. In fact, those who have these beliefs often adopt unpleasant behaviors because they may come to think that the people who show them affection only do so to manipulate them or obtain something from them.
Additionally, a person who does not feel loved by others may have trouble setting healthy boundaries in their relationships. This can end up causing you to sacrifice yourself for others, harming your own goals or objectives. On the other hand, these types of thoughts can end up leading to more serious psychological health problems. For example, if a person believes that they do not deserve love from others, they may isolate themselves and end up suffering from anxiety disorders or depression due to these feelings.
If you have been experiencing these negative emotions for a long time, it is crucial that you go to a professional psychologist due to all the repercussions it can have on a personal and relational level. Don’t let these feelings stop you.
What to do when you feel like no one loves you?
If you think that you cannot be loved by others, the first thing you should remember is that these feelings do not correspond to reality. Feeling worthless does not mean that you are not worthy of love. Also, value is something subjective that can be very distorted due to the emotions you are feeling at this stage of your life. Given these feelings, we recommend that you keep the following in mind:
Try to change negative self-talk: Instead of treating yourself with contempt, think about how you would talk to a friend of yours. That is, replace those negative comments with more kind and realistic ones.
Do not isolate yourself: If due to these thoughts you are losing contact with different people, it is important that you stop these behavioral patterns cold. To combat them, perhaps you can ask these people if they really appreciate you and talk about your feelings with them. This will help you gain more perspective on these erroneous beliefs.
Go to therapy: It is essential that when faced with these negative emotions you try to work with your therapist. The reason is that when you have these thoughts it is usually a sign that there is a psychological problem that you need to address.
Keep in mind that all these beliefs are wrong and are not reality. In fact, you will see over time and with enough inner work that you contribute much more than you imagine.
