9 Characteristics Of Emotionally Closed People: What Is The Cause Of Emotional Coldness?

The emotionally closed people They may be because they require personal space or have a lot of things to do. But, when this emotional coldness becomes constant, it can cause problems in relationships. How can we identify unaffected people?

What is it like to be an emotionally unavailable person?

The emotional coldness It involves having difficulties expressing or managing emotions, as well as getting emotionally close to other people. We must keep in mind that each person is different and, therefore, it is normal that there are some who can distance themselves from others.

However, someone who is not emotionally available They may seem distant in general, find it difficult to talk about their feelings or avoid situations or topics that involve expressing their emotions.

In this way, the emotionally distant people They usually do not feel comfortable expressing their own emotions with others or with the emotional expression of those around them. Someone who tends to put this emotional distance usually experiences effects in their personal relationships, whether in love, friendship, family ties, or even their place of business. Normally, an emotionally hermetic person tends to be so due to the influences they have received at a cultural, family and gender level.

What are emotionally distant people like?

When the emotional coldness It is part of a person’s personality, there are a series of behaviors or attitudes that can help us identify them:

1. They avoid intimacy: A emotionally distant person He usually has a certain fear of intimacy with others. That is, she tries to avoid sharing her feelings and thoughts with those around her.
2. They do not commit: Commitment is difficult for emotionally hermetic people In fact, they may even be afraid of commitment due to the intimacy that this type of relationship entails.
3. They get defensive easily: The emotionally unavailable people They tend to respond defensively to situations that may bother them. This is because they do not know or do not want to express their negative feelings.
4. Are not avaliables: To the put emotional distance, these people tend not to be accessible when needed. Or, on the other hand, they may have a tendency to minimize their emotional expressions, change the subject, or withdraw when a conversation becomes too emotional.
5. They do not empathize: A distant person He usually shows little empathy towards others. That is, there is a certain inability to understand or share another person’s feelings.
6. They seem to want perfection: Trying to be the ‘perfect’ image is typical of those people who tend to put distance in their relationships.
7. They think of relationships as work: A emotionally hermetic person You may feel relationships like a kind of job or a task that you must accomplish.
8. They are distrustful: Unaffected people tend to question or distrust the intentions of those who approach them to have a closer relationship.
9. They distance themselves from people: Letting go of a relationship can be difficult for most people. Instead, the emotionally distant people They can do this with many of their links. Especially when they are faced with a conflict in which they must express their feelings to others.

These are some signs that can help you identify those people who are not very affectionate with others In some cases, these relationships can affect your self-esteem or security, for this reason, when this happens, we recommend that you go to a professional psychologist before it can affect you further.

Causes of emotional distancing

There may be multiple reasons behind the emotional coldness Even so, much research suggests that emotionally hermetic people could be so due to the attachment received from their parents during the first years of childhood.

Attachment is about the care that parents offer their children during their early years. Thus, when caregivers deny the affection or emotional support that all children require, they may repeat this pattern in their adult relationships.

Therefore, those children who do not experience adequate responses to their emotional needs are often more likely to develop an avoidant attachment style. This means that they will tend to be more independent, both physically and emotionally, which will also mean more difficulties in becoming intimate with others or trusting them.

In addition to attachment, cultural and gender influences can also play a relevant factor in someone’s tendency to not being emotionally available

Is it bad to be emotionally unavailable?

A emotionally distant person It does not mean that she is bad with others or that she does not have the capacity to love others. Putting an emotional distance implies a difficulty that these people must learn to deal with.

The only way to stop being a emotionally unavailable person It is learning to deal with patterns that can be harmful to both ourselves and others. Therefore, in these cases it is important to work with those emotional wounds that are limiting us on an emotional level. When this happens, a psychologist can help you understand the reason for these behaviors and learn to deal with these feelings.

How to stop being an emotionally hermetic person?

The emotional coldness can be worked. Despite this, it is a complex problem because the causes usually go back to childhood. In order to change this type of attitudes, we advise you to do the following:

• Identify the cause: Exploring the root problems can give you an idea of ​​how to deal with the lack of emotional availability For example, having experienced the emotional coldness of our parents may be one of the reasons why we are hermetic people with our feelings. In this way, identifying the reason can help us deal with the root problem.
• Practice emotional openness: To stop putting a emotional distance To people, it is important to work with our feelings. We can practice emotional expression through music, art, or gradually trying to talk to trusted people about our emotions.
• Take it easy: If you realize that you are emotionally unavailable, it is normal that you try to immediately change these types of attitudes. It is important to try to be realistic about these changes: no one can improve overnight. The most optimal approach will be to focus on small, gradual changes.
• Go to therapy: As we have mentioned, the emotional coldness It is usually related to avoidant attachment. For this reason, it is very likely that to work on your emotions you will need to focus on your childhood problems. Going to therapy can be a good way not only to improve your attitude with others, but to have a better relationship with yourself.

Being emotionally unavailable It doesn’t have to define you. Thus, if this type of behavior is affecting you both in your relationship with others and with yourself, it is vital that you start working within yourself. Expressing your emotions will help you connect better with those around you and especially with yourself.