Nathaniel Branden’s Six Pillars Of Self-esteem: What Does It Teach Us?
Do you know Nathaniel Branden’s teachings on self-esteem? Discover the six pillars of self-esteem and how to strengthen them to be able to take care of yourself inside and out.
The self-esteem It is one of the fundamental keys to happiness. With low self-esteem we will hardly be able to find emotional well-being anywhere, mainly because being happy or not does not depend on the outside, it is something that we can only find within ourselves.
A healthy self-esteem will allow us to feel capable, worthy, deserving, autonomous, free and self-effective. This leads us to continuous personal improvement work, in which every day we try to listen to ourselves, care for ourselves, take care of ourselves and, above all, follow the steps that show us the correct path for our happiness, but true happiness. Therefore, it is important to know what are the pillars of self-esteem and work on them.
Nathaniel Brandel psychotherapist and writer, explains in his book “The six pillars of self esteem“The aspects that have been shown through psychology to have the most influence on developing good self-esteem.
In “The 6 pillars of self-esteem “This author interprets self-esteem as a human psychological need that has the tendency to lead to a series of challenging emotional states (such as anxiety, stress, depression, among others) in order to be satisfied.
The psychologist Nathaniel Branden affirms that what determines the level of self-esteem that a person has is what they do and for this they must act consciously. This statement agrees with my opinion on the subject, since regardless of past experiences, the education received, and the present moment, we can always do something to start improving my self-esteem. Therefore, it is interesting to know the pillars of self-esteem in order to strengthen it through our daily work.
The six pillars of self esteem
As Nathaniel Branden points out in his book ‘The six pillars of self esteem “, in order to reinforce self-esteem and enjoy good mental health, it is important to work on the following pillars or aspects.
1. Live consciously
This is the first pillar of self-esteem of everyone. It implies that we develop full attention, that we try to be more in the present, less in the mind, and more in feeling. If we are not aware of reality or our thoughts and actions, we go through life on autopilot, which leads us to make disastrous decisions on many occasions. So let’s start paying attention to our present.
In order to elevate your self-esteem and practice mindfulness, psychologists recommend the following actions.
Practice gratitude: A good way to strengthen self-esteem personal is precisely trying to be grateful for what we are and what surrounds us. Appreciating our environment and interior will be a vital way of realizing that those pillars of life that will make you happy are within us.
Don’t fantasize excessively: Everyone daydreams. Despite this, it is important to try not to spend the day avoiding facing reality. To strengthen the pillars of self-esteem It is important to understand that we must work to achieve change and our goals.
Self-awareness: Another way to be in the present is precisely to try to be aware of our body and mind at all times. Noticing our discomfort, whether physical or emotional, can be a good initiative to help elevate the self-esteem staff.
2. Accept yourself
What I don’t accept I can’t change. Of course we all have aspects of ourselves we like more or less. But the reality is that you are like this now because of the decisions or mistakes you made, but this does not allow you to accept yourself in it. In this way, in order to know how to strengthen self-esteem First it is essential to accept what we are now.
How to accept yourself?
In order to take on one of these pillars of self-esteem There are a series of actions that we can follow. Among the most effective there are the following.
Accept your decisions: First thing to reinforce self-esteem It is trying to take responsibility for our actions. Blaming others for our actions or decisions is not a good way to raise your self-esteem.
Take ownership of your thoughts and emotions: It’s easy to say but difficult to put into practice. But according to Nathaniel Branden The way to strengthen self-esteem is to try to learn to be the owners of our thoughts and emotions.
3. Take responsibility for yourself
Another of the pillars of self-esteem highlighted by Nathaniel Branden It is assuming our responsibilities. To do this we must stop blaming ourselves and others. Let’s take responsibility for our actions, recognize, assume and take control of our lives. No one can live for us. When we become aware of our actions we can also begin to take responsibility for them.
To know if you assume your responsibility, you must ask yourself if you are aware of being the author of your decisions and actions. In case you need to work on one of these pillars of self-esteem the author recommends the following.
Stop blaming others: On many occasions we end up blaming others for the mistakes we ourselves make. To strengthen self-esteem You must leave this type of behavior behind.
Learn to tolerate frustration: It is normal to make mistakes. What you shouldn’t be is getting frustrated about it. No one achieves their goals the first time, therefore making mistakes is normal. Try to learn from them and so you can raise your self-esteem without the need to be perfect.
4. Self-affirmation
Self-affirmation includes respect for my own desires, needs and values, as well as the search for their adequate expression in reality. Self-affirmation, another of The six pillars of self esteem As stated by Nathaniel Branden, it means defending oneself, but not only before others, but also before ourselves, because we tend to be our greatest judges. Let’s believe in who we are.
How to work on self-affirmation?
To raise your self-esteem Through self-affirmation it is necessary to try to work on the following aspects.
Be authentic: The ability to be authentic is defined by defending our ideals and our way of being. That is, being as we are despite external situations is one of the pillars of life to enjoy good self-esteem.
Assertiveness: Being assertive means trying to accept what we are, that is, both our defects and qualities. This does not imply that you should not work on them, simply know what we are from the first moment.
5. Personal integrity
Personal integrity means live in coherence That is, one of these pillars of self-esteem refers to the fact that people must act in accordance with what we truly think and want. That is, my words and my actions go hand in hand. But in order to do so, we must first listen to each other, ask each other questions, and answer each other honestly.
Personal integrity is important not only to be able to know how to raise self-esteem personal, but also to be able to define what we really want in our lives. In order to work on it, the following is important.
Think about short-term goals: The first step to raise your self-esteem It is starting the path little by little. In this way, you must set short-term objectives that are aligned with your long-term goals and aspirations.
Establish your purpose: In order to live with integrity, you must know what your purpose is. To do this, ask yourself if you are really doing things for yourself or if you are walking without a goal in accordance with your ideals.
6. Live with purpose
Purposes not related to an action plan are not carried out, he points out. Nathaniel Branden That is to say, no matter how many dreams, goals and illusions we have in life, if they are not followed by a well-planned path, they are of no use, because we will not achieve them. For our vital purposes to be fulfilled, it is necessary to develop an action plan. Let’s have dreams, incentives, and try to bring them to fruition. This is the last of the six pillars of self-esteem, but it is also fundamental.
How to live with purpose?
This pillar of self-esteem It means reflecting on what we are and what we want to aspire to. For this reason, it may be a good idea to do the following.
Be honest with yourself: Honesty means knowing if what we are really doing daily is what we want for ourselves and our lives. Being honest with yourself will help you strengthen your self-esteem
Live with integrity: Being upright means living knowing that what you do does not go against what you really believe. By doing so you will be able strengthen your self-esteem
On many occasions working with these pillars of self-esteem It can be quite a challenge. Therefore, psychologists can be a good tool if you want to raise your self-esteem and enjoy all the advantages of having good mental health. The power of self-esteem encompasses all areas of your life.
