In modern times and especially in Western culture, A model of affection called romantic love has been forged, which is rooted in the idea of monogamous bonds and stable relationships that are resistant to all difficulties. This has given rise to countless myths that invade the mentality of society, making love and relationships deceptive.
Although it is relatively easy to fall in love, learning to love is not so easy. And in love, both communication and the ability to solve problems are aspects that must be worked on within the relationship, and that cannot be solved by letting Cupid do his thing.
A myth is a belief, one more component within an entire structure of creeds shared by a culture or society, which accepts them as true. In general, myths tend to constitute a simplification on some aspect of reality and have the ability to influence, to a greater or lesser degree, our behavior.
These beliefs give the impression of being based on the objectivity that surrounds us, but although it is sometimes difficult to distinguish them, they are not; which leads the person to commit a series of avoidable mistakes
Myths, both those related to romantic love and any other area, usually act unconsciously on people; And although when reading the following beliefs many of them may seem obviously wrong, they exert a strong influence on the idea that people have of love.
Each person has their own mythology of love, based on their personal, family or cultural experiences. However, it is thanks to the media, cinema, literature, etc. that these beliefs have intensely invaded the mental framework of society, introducing into it ideas such as that true love lasts forever, that there is only one person in the world perfect for us, or that jealousy is a guarantee of love.
Due to the long duration that the impact of the idea of romantic love has had on current culture, there are many myths that wander through people’s imaginations.
With the aim of dismantling these beliefs, or at least making the reader a little more aware of them, this article includes a small compilation of the most popular, and possibly harmful, myths of the romantic scene
1. Love can do everything
Despite the temptation of believing it when seeing it written, the idea that if there is love in a relationship it is a sufficient guarantee to overcome any problem, is absurd. This myth It also works in the opposite direction, leading us to think that if there are problems there is no love
This belief leads us to think that in relationships considered perfect, people do not have any type of conflict between them, and that respect, trust and communication come as standard along with love.
The possible consequences of this myth are, first of all, early or unnecessary breakups by not seeking solutions to specific problems and an even more harmful consequence for the person is that they endure any type of harmful or humiliating situation for the sake of love, because it heals everything and can do everything.
2. Love at first sight
This superstition ranges from the belief in falling in love to the idea that chance interferes in some way to promote a meeting between two people destined to be together.
In any case, although the existence of a powerful affinity or attraction facilitates the beginning of any relationship, the belief in this powerful attraction leads the person to not be able to perceive reality clearly or even see that which truly does not exist.
Finally, this myth leads people to ignore relationships with very high enriching potential because they have not started with a passionate coincidence, or on the other hand, interpret this fiery “passionality” as a proof of love.
3. The better half
The longed-for and persecuted better half. The paradigm that encompasses this myth is that there is only one person throughout the world who is ideal for each person.
The main conflict with this belief is the frustration that it can generate when it is internalized as a rigid pattern. Leading the person to cling to a bond just because they think that they will never find another being as perfect for them and, furthermore, to think that after a breakup the possibilities are over.
Likewise, if we take into consideration that the concept of perfection is a pure ideal, it is practically impossible that no one fits into those schemes that the person imagines The search can be, if possible, even more daunting.
4. The right person fills all aspects of life
This myth includes phrases like “we must share all our tastes and hobbies,” “we are responsible for each other’s happiness,” “we are one person,” etc.
Surely, the reader will recognize all these phrases heard in the mouths of others or even oneself; But when read out of context, these expressions fall under their own weight.
The effects of these statements are innumerable, and in the vast majority of cases negative; the most important being create an obsession with finding another person to start living, to realize dreams or even to start being happy.
5. Full sexual understanding is irrefutable proof of love
This myth goes a little hand in hand with that of love at first sight. In it the person firmly believes that if his love is true sex will always be amazingly good
It is true that a healthy and full sexual life is important in the development of a relationship, but love is not a guarantee of this, nor is good sex a guarantee of love. It is absolutely necessary to know both your own body and that of the other person, and work on sexuality just as you work on any other aspect of the relationship.
6. When you are in love it is not possible to feel attraction for another person
However, at this point the reality is very different. Starting from the idea that love does not paralyze the disposition to feel attracted to others and that fidelity is a social construct, in which It is the couple themselves who decides what type of commitment they want to make ; It is very common to experience some type of affinity with other people without this meaning that one no longer loves the partner, leaving it up to the person themselves to establish the limits of this attraction.
7. Jealousy is a test of love
The myth of love par excellence; being justified and fought almost in equal parts.
In reality the experience of jealousy only constitutes an indicator of the threshold of anxiety When faced with another person’s idea, take what is considered your own by right. What the person believes is their exclusive right to receive.
Jealousy is simply a demonstration of the fear of losing what is perceived as a possession, that is, the other person.
